Ever get the feeling you can’t do ANYTHING right?

Maybe I’m in a rut here, or maybe I’m just cursed... I really feel like I can’t do anything right anymore. Between starting a new job and working on my truck myself, I just really feel like I can’t do anything right. 

At work I feel like I can’t even send a basic email without really messing something up. With my truck, I’m pretty sure I cooked the valves due to a vacuum leak I was aware of but ignored. 

Im starting to think that the only thing I know how to do lately is totally screw up the first time and fix it the next. Kind of like my life has been like putting together IKEA furniture. 

Anyone else get this feeling??? 

If I said "no" and then suggested trying to re-evaluate how you get into situations where mistakes happen, is that being rude?  It sounds like you're anxious and rushing things.

I feel like this every day. I’ve been busting my ass to try to get ahead and then there’s always that one thing that comes out of nowhere and smacks me back down and then I’m back to square one. 

The literal theme to my life is “One Step Forward and Two Steps Back”. 

No, and I even get Ikea furniture right the first time, but I still feel like an unsuccessful screwup in the grand scheme of things and I'm definitely in a rut, so...don't let it get you down I guess?

New Parent,  Yup, right there with you.

made the decision this week to punt work on the wife and my daily's to a shop. (mazda 5 AC compressor and system, Expedition plugs and coils)

Just too tired to deal with it. 

And dont get me started on dealing with the grandmothers...

Failure isn’t bad. It’s just more data. 

I feel like that all of the time it's easy to get in a rut you have to find the small wins and silver lining.  Mistakes are just learning opportunities.

Constantly. Every single thing I touch turns to E36 M3.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” 
― Thomas A. Edison

(Context: Edison made over 10,000 attempts before finding a single solution of how to make a light bulb)

Been with you for a while now, OP.

Missed the V-tec actuator on the girlfriend's car. Pulled apart to check New timing belt and valves TWICE!. Finally took it to a pro (WTF, I used to be a pro wrench). He fixed it right away. Also, ruined FOUR valve cover gaskets. In a row.

On my car, I missed a vacuum line. Check engine light kept returning. IAC was $300. Eventually I found that. I had to R&R the midpipe 4 freaking times to fix a separate CEL issue.

We all have the potential to berk up a wet dream at some point. Persevere, brother. You can't loose every time.

Yes, I definitely go through periods where I feel like this, as well as others where I feel completely overconfident and end up in way over my head or overcommitted because I got too ambitious with something.

It's mostly a matter of you own perception. Learn from your failures, but don't ruminate on the negative. We're all human and we all berkeley up sometimes, you're just not always as acutely aware when others do it.

Yup. Finally rebuilt the savings after paying for a new central air unit and suddenly I'm off work 4+ months for a medical reason and eating back into our savings.  So much house and automotive work backing up I've debated paying to have my wife's car repaired. 

pres589 said:

If I said "no" and then suggested trying to re-evaluate how you get into situations where mistakes happen, is that being rude?  It sounds like you're anxious and rushing things.

Not rude and there is truth in this. I’m in a busy part of my life right now. I have three kids at home. I work in a demanding field. I just left a job that had me working unbelievable hours with insane expectation to be cheap, fast, and perfect. I was rushed and miserable.  

New job is much more laid back with realistic supervisors, coworkers, and clients. Still, I feel the need to haul ass and get things done.  I do have this anxiety that I need to overcome and slowly, slowly work through situations (and email responses). 

SVreX said:

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” 
― Thomas A. Edison

 

(Context: Edison made over 10,000 attempts before finding a single solution of how to make a light bulb)

Although he would've done it much faster if he sat down and did some math first. He did invention by practical brute force - his lab was stocked with plenty of materials and equipment which with to throw things together until something worked. This severely frustrated Nikola Tesla who was more of a scientific inventor and liked to plan everything on paper to the greatest extent before building anything.

I sometimes feel the way you do.  I don't think I get immediate tasks or projects wrong too much (although I definitely do now and then).  I have problems that read more like midlife crisis stuff so a slow series of mistakes along the way and not improperly tightening bolts or missing a leaky pipe.

SVreX said:

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” 
― Thomas A. Edison

 

(Context: Edison made over 10,000 attempts before finding a single solution of how to make a light bulb)

And the rest he stole from Tesla...

At our church I lead a Scripture reading on Sunday mornings.  I greet the attenders, direct them to the Scripture, and ask them to greet each other as we stand. Then we usually read the passage responsively, sometimes in unison.  

I screwed something up the first 26 Sunday’s.  

Once I asked them to read responsibly.   

Once I mentioned we would read from verse 2 to 22 and it came out as too too tenty too.  Confusion. 

I’m in sales.  I screw everything up all the time.  

Yes, I find myself feeling this way sometimes. I've never met anyone who was harder on me than I am. It sounds cliché, but focus on the positive. Find your balance, and put things into proper perspective.

When I find my self thinking in extremes (one example is using "always, everything or never", I realize that I am not being truthful with myself. I don't ALWAYS do things right or wrong, but my perspective at that moment may be that I am focusing on or giving too much emphasis or importance to my mistakes. 

TL;DR: Give yourself permission to make mistakes, and don't dwell on them.

Im starting to think that the only thing I know how to do lately is totally screw up the first time and fix it the next.

Pretty much describes the human condition. Puts you ahead of a large part of the population who just quits when it does not work the first time. After a while you build up a large enough portfolio of stuff that works ( finally!) that people think you are gifted.

Pete

I feel you Scottah.

At 44 I have just realized (after a strange breakup) that my entire life has been one big malfunction when it comes to how I relate to people.  I feel like I've been wearing my underwear upside-down for 44 years and just realized it.  I have been given some great gifts in my personality, but came to figure out that I have been totally misusing them.

So, unlike your situation, I thought my life was just dandy for 44 years, only to find out that it was one big dysfunction when it came to how I function in friendships, relationships, jobs, and interactions with others.  I have a very long road of learning.

Sorry you're feeling in a rut.  PM me if you want to chat.  My internet sucks at the lake, but I'm here for you.

At least you're not a beatnick.

"We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!"

Yup, right there with you.

Nothing has gone to plan so far. I know this isn't where I want to be but I don't know how to fix it without changing everything which scares the hell out of me because I fear change.

It's a Catch 22.

As a cartoon horse once said, “Life is one long, hard kick to the urethra”

Go rub one out.  You know, give yourself a dishonorable discharge.  Beat it.  I *know* you can do *that* right.

tomorrow morning, make your bed as soon as it is no longer occupied.  Boom!  There's something else you did right.  And right at the beginning of the day.  Things are looking up already.

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