Gonna have a girl! (need help)

Rufledt wrote: On the talking note, my wife is bilingual and we want our daughter to be as well. Has anyone tried that with their own kid? I heard that bilingual kids speak later, so we're prepared for that, but I was just wondering what other challenges we might face. She's totally fluent in Korean and English from growing up in both countries, so she won't be speaking in broken english or anything, but we've read of some kids growing up not knowing the division between the two languages or other things.

FWIW, I had a buddy who was Columbian but grew up here and was fluent in both English and Spanish. Married a white girl. What they did is mama spoke exclusively in English and daddy spoke exclusively in Spanish. That helped the kids know which words went with each other.

Mad_Machine: Instead, try to think that it COULD HAVE BEEN your niece in a few years, but now, luckily for her & possibly just in time, she has a stable, rational, blood-relative Dad-substitute who can love her and provide a framework to let her figure out for herself who she wants to be. This is much better than growing up without that kind of support and without any reasonable self-image, so that she turns into someone who's ready to listen to a come-on from some sleazeball strip-club owner.

Sorry for the thread-jack. Please resume shopping for car seats!

My kid is bilingual- ASL and english. Not real hard to do... just make sure they hear both words at the same time while describing something, IE basura/trash.

And as far as the visitors? I made it even more simple. We will bring the baby to you when we're awake enough to drive. Do not knock on my door. I can technically stop you at the hospital, but I won't. I WILL however, likely be sleeping. I refuse to let people get what they want from me in situations like that. My kid, my rules.

Stealthtercel wrote: Mad_Machine: Instead, try to think that it COULD HAVE BEEN your niece in a few years, but now, luckily for her & possibly just in time, she has a stable, rational, blood-relative Dad-substitute who can love her and provide a framework to let her figure out for herself who she wants to be. This is much better than growing up without that kind of support and without any reasonable self-image, so that she turns into someone who's ready to listen to a come-on from some sleazeball strip-club owner. Sorry for the thread-jack. Please resume shopping for car seats!

I am not talking about the dancers.. I mean night club. I work at "The Pool" at Harrah's and in both "the Mixx" and "Mur.Mur" at the Borgata when needed. I am talking about the girls who come in with their date to dance, drink, and what-have-you.

Oh, sorry. Got the wrong idea there. Well, lots of perfectly normal girls go to night clubs with their dates to dance, drink, and what-have-you. Your niece still has the chance, thanks to you and your Mom, to go through her teenage years with good adult behaviour models and stable living arrangements, not to mention people who Are Always There For Her. That's almost certainly going to lead to only reasonable & proper amounts of dancing, drinking, and what-have-you.

Getting back on point. and I know this is not the kind of thing that you want to here BUT.

Find out where the nearest level ONE NICU is. If it is in the hospital that you are going to have the baby in ask to see it or at least have them show you where it is. If it is not at the hospital that you are having the baby at ask them where it is. Get the address and put it in your wallet. If it is near by and you have not been there take a drive to it some time. The odds are that you will never need it but from personal experience it is something that if you need to know you will be glad you do.

dean1484 wrote: Getting back on point. and I know this is not the kind of thing that you want to here BUT. Find out where the nearest level ONE NICU is. If it is in the hospital that you are going to have the baby in ask to see it or at least have them show you where it is. If it is not at the hospital that you are having the baby at ask them where it is. Get the address and put it in your wallet. If it is near by and you have not been there take a drive to it some time. The odds are that you will never need it but from personal experience it is something that if you need to know you will be glad you do.

This is something I actually know. Because my child was born there. He didn't end up needing the NICU- but after the wife's initial OB took one look at her chart, and went LOLNOPE, wife immediately got promoted to high risk pregnancy. He was almost born prematurely- but apparently her uh...birth canal was too narrow for him to make a move out- and he ended up going c-section after nearly 20 hours of induced labor. I learned a LOT about the hospital.

that's a good idea that should've been on my radar. My mom was super high risk and was bedridden for a couple months. She needed daily iron shots and all of that, and in the end I was 5 weeks premature and under observation by a heart specialist for a few days. I hope that doesn't happen here, but i'd rather be scared and prepared than oblivious and get blind sided by a problem.

We went back to baby's r us today and tried the 'can mom pick it up' test. it was very telling to mess around with all the stuff, too. They actually had those baby seats with the rotor shaped handle! I was excited but i'm not sure if we'll go with it. SWMBO still liked the strollers with the removable car seat and storage, but we looked at some that weren't quite so gigantic and cumbersome. Some of the graco ones come with the car seat base, but the car seat itself can be used without the base somehow... We'd probably just buy extra bases but the 'just in case' factor is appealing. I still would like to avoid gigantic expensive stuff when we can just carry her as an infant, but we still have to talk it over I guess. Looked at beds, too. There are some pretty substantial cribs that can be converted into a full size bed later. Some were solid wood, too, but not particularly cheap. I'd be willing to pay the money for a more sturdy, collapse-free bed, i'm just saying my whole ikea bed set and mattress and dressers were cheaper. On the other hand, they are falling apart...

Is this your first? Because.....baby shower. Takes care of a LOT of expensive things. We paid for precisely dick for Gibson, because baby shower.

Baby shower is in the works, plus my mother in law is so excited for a little girl finally that the only thing stopping her from filling our house with baby stuff is the 13 hour drive! I still want to buy stuff for the baby though

I am back with more questions~

So after much contemplation, we decided on (I did - he didn't oppose) getting the baby trend flex-loc infant car seat. I like that it's narrower than other car seats and I actually like the wankel style handle and the design (butterflies!). Now we need a stroller. Some of you suggested getting a frame stroller for the car seat and get a normal stroller once the baby outgrows the car seat. It's not a bad idea, but that would mean at one point we would have to buy a stroller AND a convertible car seat for the growing baby. I've tried lifting some strollers and I can handle putting them in and out of my trunk. I would like to get a stroller that can fit the infant car seat and can eventually be a stroller for bigger baby. That way we would only have to buy a convertible car seat later. What do you guys think? Still a bad idea?

Secondly, I want to get a baby carrier but I cannot decide what brand/model would be best. I've heard boba and ergo to be one of the best ones but the price is holding me back. Is it really worth $125~$160? I have mild scoliosis that causes me back pain if I am standing or sitting for too long and any stress on my back causes pain that lingers for few days. I want to get a carrier that supports my baby well and also evenly distributes weight on my shoulders and back without pinching anywhere. What baby carrier did you guys use? Did you guys like it or not like it? Why? I saw one review where the mother pointed out the waist buckle on the Ergo baby carrier was on the hips not on the back which she thought was uncomfortable I don't know if I'll like that either.

I would go out and look for them myself but I can only leave the house with a peace of mind when my hubs drives (and he is busy) since my stupid car hasn't passed inspection because of a fuel filler neck (something or another) that needs replacement and apparently the part is super difficult to come by even for a dealership (which the inspection place is ordering from). My car is a Infiniti G20 and they said they can't just get a generic part - they need the actual part to replace it. (GRR) I have to take the car to a dealership but the closest one is like an hour away. If I had the money, I would just get another car.

It takes a bit of effort and practice, but once you get used to it, the Moby wrap is a very comfortable and versatile baby carrier.

At least, that's what my wife says. I never really tried to learn how to wear it. I used the cheap Infantino carrier and it worked very well for me.

Other than that, I would recommend infant seat + car seat stroller up to 12 months, and convertible seat + umbrella stroller after.

Don't assume one-size-fits-all, or this-stuff-will-last-forever.

You'll be buying stuff for your kids for the rest of your lives.

You will probably not be able to buy a combination stroller that meets all your needs. Many kids use a stroller until they are nearly 5, and by the time they get to that age, the majority have younger siblings.

Strollers get used hard. They haul 3X what they are supposed to (by the time you add the diaper bag, mom's purse, and some groceries), and they get beat to death. Not to mention they frequently get puked in every few days...

It won't last as long as the kid (or the mom) has a need for a stroller.

So, Bastomatic is right. Assume a few different products for different purposes and times in growth.

Those fancy "can do anything" products are very attractive to a new parent. Don't be suckered. They cost more, and they will wear you out (then you'll be buying other stuff anyway). You will be better off with simple products that offer limited uses for a limited amount of time, then give them away to friends (before they are worn out), and buy new stuff more suited to your (then) current needs.

Umbrella strollers (for older kids) are God's gift to parent-dom.

We got a boba for our 3rd (he's almost 3 months now) and use it to transport him when out rather than a stroller. I would either wait until the baby is born, or borrow a baby and try out a few carriers to see which fits best. None of our kids have really taken to strollers, we seem to end up carrying them or wearing them until they can walk. If you have back pain I recommend making rufledt carry the little bugger around!

Ok, many months later we are 1 month away (almost) from the due date. The nursery is painted, we have a bunch of stuff, and I have learned a rear facing infant seat will indeed fit in the back of my RX8 without moving the front seat forward, so that's a big plus. The 8 is also the only car we have with the latch system, since SWMBO's car is 1 year too old, and my van simply laughs at the very notion of passenger safety. I've also used this as a thinly veiled excuse to hit up the hot wheels section because, when she gets old enough, the hundreds and hundreds of toy cars I already have from my childhood may not be enough. That is assuming she doesn't get into ponies or something, I don't have any of those.

Any advice for the last few weeks? Anything the books don't cover about the 'overnight bag'? I realize there's no chance of me being fully prepared, but i'd like to be the least unprepared i can be. It appears we may not have family in the area around the time of the birth since the closest relative is 800 miles and babies don't plan their "great escape" around everybody's plane ticket schedules.

The hospital is quite close to our house, so that's a plus, and we have many friend's in the area who have offered help if needed. We also took all of the courses from childbirth, childcare, breast feeding, safety, etc... It turns out having open containers of toxins and gasoline around a baby can be dangerous. Who knew. I would've guessed open containers of gasoline or toxins are dangerous always, but that's just my opinion i guess...

Thankfully the pregnancy is going well, no problems so far, and the baby moves a lot which i'm told is a good sign.

Since this is the worst winter since the last time we ever had cold weather (like, last winter) we're going to need to keep the baby warm. Should I do anything beyond pre-warming the car before loading the baby?

In reply to Rufledt:

Sounds like you've already put a lot of thought and genuine effort into this. You and your little one will be fine. Pity so many other kids don't have the advantage of thoughtful and concerned parents. Enjoy the ride!

Rufledt wrote: Since this is the worst winter since the last time we ever had cold weather (like, last winter) we're going to need to keep the baby warm. Should I do anything beyond pre-warming the car before loading the baby?

I don't remember doing anything special in the winter, but once it warms up, keep the unoccupied seat covered if you're parked in the sun. Those shiny chrome buckles can get seriously hot.

Good luck!

then why don't I feel ready

I already know about the trick that all people with kids pull on expectant new parents.

them: "are you ready?"

me: "is anyone ever ready?"

them: "nope"

it's evil and sadistic and i'm SO going to do that when other people start having kids.

In reply to Woody:

That's a good point, SWMBO's car (the future primary baby mover) has a black leather interior. We're going to need to do some serious parking in the shade or something. my wife likes heat and she hates that car in the summer.

AsianFemaleDriver wrote: I am back with more questions~ Secondly, I want to get a baby carrier but I cannot decide what brand/model would be best.

Be sure to get one with a handle that keeps your hand in it's normal position. You will get tired very quickly carrying a baby with your hand rotated 90 degrees.

Practice smiling nodding and saying "whatever you say honey". It gets crazy in there.

Rufledt wrote: then why don't I feel ready I already know about the trick that all people with kids pull on expectant new parents. them: "are you ready?" me: "is anyone ever ready?" them: "nope" it's evil and sadistic and i'm SO going to do that when other people start having kids.

'No plan survives first contact with the enemy'.

In reply to Curmudgeon:

LOL I never thought of it that way, but I guess it works.

I just had a dinner thing with friends who have kids (twins), and they told us a story of turning their back for 1 minute to feed their cat. When they went back to the kids, one was holding half of a record. They then realized most of their records were broken, the record player was broken in many ways, and they never did find the pin

Rufledt wrote: In reply to Woody: That's a good point, SWMBO's car (the future primary baby mover) has a black leather interior. We're going to need to do some serious parking in the shade or something. my wife likes heat and she hates that car in the summer.

Window tint is your friend. No E36 M3 lowered the interior temps of both cars by 30* on hot days in the sun.

Rufledt wrote: In reply to Curmudgeon: LOL I never thought of it that way, but I guess it works. I just had a dinner thing with friends who have kids (twins), and they told us a story of turning their back for 1 minute to feed their cat. When they went back to the kids, one was holding half of a record. They then realized most of their records were broken, the record player was broken in many ways, and they never did find the pin

There are many days where my questions go " how........why........ I didn't know that was possible." I used to tell the story of how I never did figure why my albino ferret had turned purple. A child is far worse. Just remember, children dont arrive with preconceived notions of how things work. They're gonna try anything and everything because they can. Perfect example- gibson was learning about the kitty. So we were working on petting. Petting felt cool so we giggled and decided let's see what wailing it does. So we clobbered the kitty. ( I should clarify he was maybe 9 mos old) clobbering the kitty got a reaction out of mom and dad, so we giggled. Now we realize hey the kitty is fuzzy sorta like dads face and that's awesome for grabbing. So we grabbed the fur. Unlike dads face we got handfuls of fur! So... Logically with a handful of anything... Into the mouth it goes. Now I've got a 9 month old with a mouth full of cat hair and I fell off the bed I was laughing so hard. To top it all off we had a puker... And he just ate before cat fur... So we puked. On the cat.

Moral of the story. You are never ready because its impossible to be ready for an unknown quantity. Laugh and keep lots of baby wipes handy. Make sure to take time for yourself too.