Got a Job Offer!

Beer Baron wrote:

aussiesmg wrote: Ohio GRMers smell a Beer BQ

Hells yeah! I am stoked to get to hang out with you all.

Its on brutha, give us a heads up when you have a start date, we can break you in Ohio style. (maybe a touch of Aussie as well)

BTW I am really happy she is seeing it more your way after some adult discussion, that E36 M3 works.

I said this elsewhere, it was advice I got a few months back. It echos in my head every morning when I wake up and text my wife and every night when I text her before I go to bed.

If you find yourself apologizing to your family because of your job it's time to leave.

I'm glad to hear you got it worked out. When she gets there and see the original you, she will be too.

Sounds like the fiancee may understand you better than you think. From many of your posts you seem to be quite impulsive. She is probably thinking moving across country for a job with a company you don't know isn't the best thing. I have to admit though you need to get out of the current job. You do know when you turn in your notice they will probalby E36 M3 can you right then. So be prepared to be unemployed unitl Nov.

aussiesmg wrote: Ohio GRMers smell a Beer BQ

this^^

I am glad it sounds like things are working out. CBC has some good stuff, should be fun.

spitfirebill wrote: Sounds like the fiancee may understand you better than you think. From many of your posts you seem to be quite impulsive.

I think hes making an incredibly thought out decision. And a good one. He has been considering this for weeks...hell, maybe months for all we know. But its been a few weeks or so since his last thread about being unhappy (and unhealthy) at his current gig. Sounds to me hes even consulted his physician about it. Doesnt sound like a decision being made lightly...He spent a considerable amount of time on his education, even travelling out of the country for it. Baron has apparently done well enough in his education, and crafted a marketable enough skillset, that hes garnering national attention for himself. KUDOS!

I think not taking this position would be one of those decisions you regret for the rest of your life. SWMBO needs to understand that. When I was looking at a new DD, and my SWMBO was on the fence, people told me that if she couldnt see that it would make me happy and give her stamp of approval, then thats her being selfish. I cant understand how this is any different. She needs to cowgirl up a little bit, and put on the big girl pants. Life get tough at time, I cant pretend to know what it is shes going through. But if she cant work through it , and accept lifes curveballs now, hows it gonna be when (heaven forbid) its a child with cancer or an unexpected death of a parent or something worse.

The engagement period is supposed to come with a bottle of champagne and a pair of rose colored glasses. Its also when you learn to work together, and develop the "for better or worse" mentality. Sounds to me a little like its taking her a bit longer to develop it. Glad to hear shes coming around. Sorry to hear it will take counseling (again, I cant presume what issues shes dealing with).

Congratulations Beer Baron. I remember the other thread about how bad it was getting for you, it really sounded like you needed the change.

I really liked living around Columbus but a few years ago unfortunately I moved away for another job in California, the state that hates everything I like. If it my previous job had offered the same sort of incentives this one does I'd never have left.

I hate California. Born there, moved back for a couple of years in my early 20's, I'm never going back except for short visits.

Congrats man, long time coming.

Congrats! Eric B. @CBC is a great guy. I'm sure you'll enjoy working there.

If you need any tips on Columbus, hit me up.

sjc wrote: Congrats! Eric B. @CBC is a great guy. I'm sure you'll enjoy working there. If you need any tips on Columbus, hit me up.

He seems like it. One of the big factors to wanting to go there. The interviews were long, relaxed chats and he really laid the full situation out. I was especially won over that he talked a lot about finding the right balance of quality of work with quality of life.

spitfirebill wrote: Sounds like the fiancee may understand you better than you think. From many of your posts you seem to be quite impulsive. She is probably thinking moving across country for a job with a company you don't know isn't the best thing. I have to admit though you need to get out of the current job. You do know when you turn in your notice they will probalby E36 M3 can you right then. So be prepared to be unemployed unitl Nov.

She understands me very well. I can be impulsive. Contrary to how she kind of sounds like in these posts, she is and has been incredibly supportive of me. She has been there while I went off to Germany and pushed for her to see if she'd be able to relocate to be there with me for the duration; then went to MN for an internship... and pushed for her to be there for the duration; then moved for the job at North Coast, and she jumped pretty quickly to come out here with me... only to have it turn out to not be good. Now I am looking at jumping again, and it's happening at a genuinely difficult time for her.

She has been very supportive, and there is a mix of not wanting to jump before I am sure, and a sense of, "I have been really supportive of you. Now I need you to be supportive of me." But she understands my ability to be supportive is seriously limited by my job.

I explained that her desire for me to: establish myself in a good career, spend time at a place before she jumps, and have me be here for her... are kind of in conflict, and something has to give. We know that me working at the current job has to give. We both talked about how the job in Columbus will be really good for Me, for Her, and for Us. It is just a matter of figuring out the best timeline to work it all in.

Beer Baron wrote:

spitfirebill wrote: Sounds like the fiancee may understand you better than you think. From many of your posts you seem to be quite impulsive. She is probably thinking moving across country for a job with a company you don't know isn't the best thing. I have to admit though you need to get out of the current job. You do know when you turn in your notice they will probalby E36 M3 can you right then. So be prepared to be unemployed unitl Nov.

She understands me very well. I *can* be impulsive. Contrary to how she kind of sounds like in these posts, she is and has been incredibly supportive of me. She has been there while I went off to Germany and pushed for her to see if she'd be able to relocate to be there with me for the duration; then went to MN for an internship... and pushed for her to be there for the duration; then moved for the job at North Coast, and she jumped pretty quickly to come out here with me... only to have it turn out to not be good. Now I am looking at jumping again, and it's happening at a genuinely difficult time for her. She has been very supportive, and there is a mix of not wanting to jump before I am sure, and a sense of, "I have been really supportive of *you*. Now I need you to be supportive of *me*." But she understands my ability to be supportive is seriously limited by my job. I explained that her desire for me to: establish myself in a good career, spend time at a place before she jumps, and have me be here for her... are kind of in conflict, and something has to give. We know that me working at the current job has to give. We both talked about how the job in Columbus will be really good for Me, for Her, and for Us. It is just a matter of figuring out the best timeline to work it all in.

Sound good. I hope it all works out. I do know it is miserable working at a job you don't like. BTDT

Beer Baron wrote:

spitfirebill wrote: Sounds like the fiancee may understand you better than you think. From many of your posts you seem to be quite impulsive. She is probably thinking moving across country for a job with a company you don't know isn't the best thing. I have to admit though you need to get out of the current job. You do know when you turn in your notice they will probalby E36 M3 can you right then. So be prepared to be unemployed unitl Nov.

She understands me very well. I *can* be impulsive. Contrary to how she kind of sounds like in these posts, she is and has been incredibly supportive of me. She has been there while I went off to Germany and pushed for her to see if she'd be able to relocate to be there with me for the duration; then went to MN for an internship... and pushed for her to be there for the duration; then moved for the job at North Coast, and she jumped pretty quickly to come out here with me... only to have it turn out to not be good. Now I am looking at jumping again, and it's happening at a genuinely difficult time for her. She has been very supportive, and there is a mix of not wanting to jump before I am sure, and a sense of, "I have been really supportive of *you*. Now I need you to be supportive of *me*." But she understands my ability to be supportive is seriously limited by my job. I explained that her desire for me to: establish myself in a good career, spend time at a place before she jumps, and have me be here for her... are kind of in conflict, and something has to give. We know that me working at the current job has to give. We both talked about how the job in Columbus will be really good for Me, for Her, and for Us. It is just a matter of figuring out the best timeline to work it all in.

Sounds like you're headed in the right direction.

You crazy kids will get it all figured out.

without knowing the problems she's having it's sorta hard to give you "advice"

still ... I say make the move ... especially if you can lend support from a distance

wbjones wrote: without knowing the problems she's having it's sorta hard to give you "advice"

Yeah. I know. She is very private and would not want me to share them. Suffice to say she is dealing with a significant change that is affecting her moods and ability to deal with emotional issues that were not a problem before. This happened due to a very definite cause. The cause is a one-time thing that once she adapts, she'll be happier. In the meantime, it's kinda rough.

good luck bro .....

Thanks. I think being remote, but happy will make it easier for me to provide support than being here and miserable.

and if it doesn't work out (hoping it does) then it's alway better to find things out early as opposed to later

as I said good luck to both of you

Congrats on the offer and good luck to you both!

I am going to come across as an ass (so what's new?), but here goes: SWMBO needs to understand that, as others have pointed out, you being miserable in the current job is NOT healthy for your relationship. It sounds as if she is comfortable in her career, that's a great thing but she needs to understand you need the same. These things always involve give and take, there's no perfect solution. If one starts sacrificing more than the other in every situation that breeds resentment which is a ticking time bomb.

Life will always be chock full of things whose timing just isn't right but they still must be dealt with at that time. As John Lennon said: 'life is what happens while you are busy making other plans'.

Best you can do for both of you is to keep looking for something better. If the position in OH is it, you need to go for it. You think being impulsive is bad; the worse you can do is spend your life asking "what if?"

Beer Baron wrote: Thanks. I think being remote, but happy will make it easier for me to provide support than being here and miserable.

As someone who had to do the long distance relationship thing for several years, I'd suggest you budget for enough travel to see her (or have her come out to see you if that is an option) and make time for ample phone conversations.

But I agree, I think you'd be in a much better position to support her if you are happy, otherwise you'll need emotional support as well.

I'm sure the good Baron has that in mind. I think she came to visit while he was learning brewing in Germany.

Yup. The Ms. came to visit twice while I was in Germany. A big trip after I finished my program, and what she refers to as the "international booty call" about halfway through.

Travel back and forth is definitely in the plans. Her company has a major office in Columbus, so it will be relatively easy for her to take a week trip to come visit. Just needs to board the pets. It is going to take me a couple trips back and forth to haul belongings and ferry vehicles. Which is something I will have to chat with the new employer about.

And the "but" is not that she does not want me to take the job, or hasn't wanted me to take the job. She is just frustrated that the timing of everything has to hit all at once when she is having trouble coping.

A move to Columbus will be really good for her career too. She just likes this area and wanted some more time to enjoy it.