Habits/Routine to battle Depression?

All, right, it's this time of year again. I'm not in the hole but I can see it and I know that the farther in I fall the harder out the climb is. 

Other than therapy and meds (which people need to deal with serious issues, been there done that, not there now) what do you guys do to help yourselves? 

My base line is brush my teeth twice a day, and clean the bathroom on Friday. If I can keep those habits in place then I'm doing ok, when I can't make myself do that, then I know I'm not. What else are you doing? 

I do dishes and detail cars.
 

Helps me destress.

I take a perfectly clean car, wash it and spend 24 hours detailing it over a week period. 
 

I used to go to gym, but all gyms closed since March 18th. So now am fat 

My danger line is being able to look forward to something. Currently it's an upcoming tv show on Friday. And I just got a free winter project. When I find that I can't look forward to anything I'm in a bad place. So that's my general advice, find something to look forward to in the short term. A visit with a friend. A movie. A book. A race. "It may be bad now, but in two weeks I get to do/see/experience X."

I need to get back to the gym. Or bust out the P90X dvds again, but if I'm paying a monthly membership I find I'm more likely to use it than something that's free. 
 

*edit just to double down on the "talk to someone" suggestion. I'll make an open offer to be an open ear. Pm me for a phone number. Or check in on one of hobiercr's happy hour chats. 

Say yes to stuff.  I will do things with, and for, friends that I would just blow off if I were only going to disappoint myself by not doing them.  

Exercise, somehow. More difficult now, but get the endorphins going by getting the heartrate up. 

Depression kills interest in things you like.  Find something you still like, and focus on that. Like obsessively focus on it.

Right now, I'm hyper focusing on model railroading.  A fan all my life, kazoo's train layout thread (plus a few others) have finally kicked the interest into high gear.

I'm currently looking out the window for the UPS man, because TrainWorld says the rest of my Kato Unitrack will be delivered today. 

Some of you might have noticed that I keep a constant stream of project cars in the shop.

The projects provide both a source of tangible stress and a stress relief in the form of problem solving self-sastisfaction  that  lets me sleep better. That new skills come along as a side-effect of this treatment is a bonus.

By dealing with tangible problems that make me feel good, I can shove the intangible existential problems that we all carry into the background.

I have never embraced the concept of being in control, I cope by managing  what is.

I go out to the garage any chance I get. I bought some selectable weights last year and resistance bands and between that and body weight workouts, it's fun and a good workout. 

Get out in the sun. Go trail riding, for me mountain biking or hiking. 

My new philosophy is I will not turn down any invitations. 

Man, am I in the same boat.  I normally get a little depressed in the fall, but this year is pretty hardcore.  I won't get into it, but it has been made worse by over-extending myself with the house projects (a little burnt out), and a truck that keeps giving me fits and refuses to stop being a lemon.

I have a list of things I do every day.  It's dumb stuff, but it makes me feel like I accomplished forward motion.  Some of it is stuff I do anyway, but it still feels good.

-Shower
-Brush teeth
-Make bed
-Excercise/walk
-make a meal (that is to say, physically make something instead of leftovers, going out, or just eating some pre-made bars or cereal.  My breakfast this morning was a baby spinach salad with avocado, greek dressing, and red peppers.)
-if anything is overwhelming (for instance, you go to make that salad and the dishes are dirty or the kitchen is a mess) pause and get rid of the overwhelming part.  Instead of making the salad, tidy up the kitchen which earns you the reward of going out for some BBQ, or eating those leftovers.  Basically, if you can't do one of those things, tackle the obstacle that is preventing it and reward yourself.
- from there, add some really easy but necessary things.  Open your mail.  vacuum a floor. dust a shelf. comb your hair. call a friend. Things that you find easy.  Even if it's just sending a text to someone to let them know you're thinking about them, it's something you can cross off a list.

I have been so burnt out on this home improvement stuff.  What started as a fireplace installation and hardwood floors turned into an 8-month cascade of foundation/termite repair, learning curves, altered plans, a constantly-breaking truck, and not enough income to throw money at any of it.  I dove in the deep end and my only choice is to swim out of it.  I'll get there, it just seems so impossible right now.

Give yourself grace, make a list of a routine that is easily accomplished every day, eat healthy, and stay strong.  We got your back.

For me it meant putting down the booze and getting back on anxiety/depression meds. As this year has made me reach the "I don't look forward to anything anymore."

It's helping already, so I'm also trying to slowly add back in other good habits like taking care of my diet, getting out of the house and exercising regularly as well. 

While I don't really get depressed, I do get heap-loads of anxiety, and they're similar in coping mechanisms, here are some things I like to do/think of- 

- get through the next meal.  When im in the slop, just keeping a micro-focus on the ultra-short term helps.  

- Positive self-Talk, and mindfulness-  Mentally force yourself to find 5 things you have going for you that others are less fortunate and do not.  When you're done 5, do another 5.  You'd be surprised how well we really all have it...

- Math problems... Literally, it sounds so dumb, but it works.  My therapist recommended this and it's one of my favorite coping mechanisms.  Do them in your head, on paper, on the internet.  anything.  It's basically a switch, forcing your brain from creative (depression, fear, anxiety, sadness) to cognitive (action), and breaks the chain.   

- Lists, and more importantly crossing things off lists.  There's a reason why crossing off a completed task is cathartic- it's literally in our genetic makeup to be task-based creatures, and your body WILL release dopamine at the physical action of crossing things off a list.  Hundreds of medical studies have proven this.  Make the list as rudimentary or complex as you need for that day.  

-Lastly, just talk to someone.  anyone, doesn't have to be a pro... but just venting or bullcrapping to someone provides a grounding point back to reality and normalcy.  Especially important, given the last 9+ months of increased amounts of time spent more isolated from each other than normal. 

z31maniac said:

For me it meant putting down the booze

I think that my idea of what moderation actually is got out of hand. 2-4 drinks a month is ok. 2-4 a week is probably not. 2-4 a night, like what I was at? Yeah, that is a problem there. While I haven't cut it out completely, I'm allowing myself to drink only from December 23-31, and January 15-17. That is the Holidays and my birthday. Then I'm not allowing myself to drink again until March 1. November was similar, I had alcohol only during Thanksgiving. Most of January and all of February are dry. I actually gave away a couple bottles of Rye. Feeling pretty good about that. I'll get another 12 pack of beer for Christmastime and my birthday, and that'll be it until March. I'm thinking about taking it out entirely, and will evaluate at that point.

When I do drink now, it is a treat, I drink a whole lot less due to my low tolerance, which leads to less hangovers. And it is worthless calories, which if you're trying to lose weight, is the worst. 

You say you are not there on the drug front, but I will share my story. I fight severe insomnia, and was prescribed trazodone as an off-label use for insomnia. It is actually an anti-depressant. It helps with sleeping and while I would never consider myself depressed, my wife says she sees a difference in my mood. There is no big impact from taking it, I don't immediately get woozy like Ambien, I would guess it was a placebo were it not for my wife's comment. So if you want something pharmaceutical that seems to work with no side effects or noticeable impacts, you may want to ask about trazadone.  

I've just come to accept that that is how life is. 

I've never met a therapist worth their hourly rate or an antidepressant that didn't make me suicidal, so I don't recommend either of them to anybody, but supposedly they help other people.

I'm 5+ years into my battle with clinical depression and it has gotten much better over time thanks to:

• Taking my meds (lexipro) every day
• Eating healthy, exercising when possible, getting good sleep, and avoiding any heavy drinking
• Staying in touch with friends even when I don't want to
• Reading a bit of the Bible every morning
• When things are especially rough, going for a back-country drive or detail the car
• And probably most helpful: find a way to consistently help people worse off than yourself. For me, it's an automotive charity we founded that finds, repairs, and donates cars to struggling families in our town (primarly single moms). In my opinion, the soul does best when it focuses on giving to others. Helps take my eyes off my own problems. That has been the most life-giving step.

Hoping any of this proves helpful. Fight the good fight, brother.

RevRico said:

I've just come to accept that that is how life is. 

I've never met a therapist worth their hourly rate or an antidepressant that didn't make me suicidal, so I don't recommend either of them to anybody, but supposedly they help other people.

 

I had similar experiences on both fronts, SSRI's were a REALLY scary time for me.  I will say though, that my quality of life has greatly improved with Buspar, which is much different than typical SSRI's, and did not leave me with a whole host of behavioral or mood changes.  I hated SSRI's.  I dont mind this drug though. 

Daily meditation has done wonders for my depression.

I explored western Zen Buddhism a bit when I was a teenager and when anxiety and depression started hitting a couple years ago I went back to it with more conviction.

Learning to accept things as they are, without judgement helps a lot. Experiences aren't good or bad, that's just a value we assign to it. 

Whatever activity you're doing, do it to the absolute best of your ability.

Try to remember, from a worldwide perspective, we are the 1%. We're the richest, most free people on earth, we have much to be thankful for.

I want to thank you guys for all of this. I'm reading and internalizing all of it. I think it's going to help me/a lot of other people this winter. 

Exercising.. Hiking and Mountain biking have been my go to..  Setting a gym routine and an outside bike riding routine really has helped me pull through..  Also seeing friends through Zoom meetings.  I do like lifting weights.

Through this broken collar bone from too much send not enough skill is putting a damper on it all..  Now I just watch bad TV and eat..  Come on collar bone.. 

Say, "Yes to life." My wife went through a time when she didn't want to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Part of what she did to get herself through it was to say, Yes to life to herself to move her mind ahead and silence the voice of despair. When faced with a choice, stay in pajamas or get dressed and face the world, she taught the voice in her head to give her a push in the right direction.

Another vote for exercising.  I can tell a big difference in my mood and optimism based on how physically active I am.  I don't have dark thoughts or heavy drinking like some report with depression, so I don't know if that's what this is, but everything just goes kind of grey and I get boring.  When I don't enjoy cars as a hobby, or can't seem to find the energy to do anything but watch tv on the couch, it's usually a warning sign I need to work out somehow. 

With Covid that is tough, but I have been going to the city parks and running 1-3 miles a couple times a week.  If you can't run, jog.  If you can't jog, walk.  If you can't walk, bike.  Point is to get your heartrate up and sweat a little.  I usually visualize tossing emails, projects, and sometimes employee handbooks/policies into a big internal furnace to fuel my run :).  The distance I go is usually however long it takes to get my brain to shut up about work. 

For me personally, the one I haven't seen mentioned yet is playing music.  I'm lucky that my primary instrument (drums) can also be a workout, especially playing the sort of music that I like, and getting an hour or two in every week is a way to put my mind into a different place, get a bit of exercise, and get some pent up aggression out.

I've battled depression my whole life   Things  got really bad around ten years ago but I've recovered and been in maintenance mode since then.  Below, in no particular order, are some of my current strategies for staying healthy.

• Get enough sleep.  For me this one is key and it sometimes means not doing things that I'd like to do if they'll mess up my sleep schedule
• Exercise.  I hate exercise for exercise sake and after doing it I just want to lay down and take a nap but I can tell that my overall physical and mental health are better if I do it regularly.  For me it doesn't really take much.  In fact a half an hour doing something on my feet in the shop makes a difference.  I recently bought a mountain bike and I don't hate that.  I'm fortunate in that I can his some great trails right out of my driveway
• Take my meds.  I'm lucky in that we found something that works early in my treatment and I haven't had to adjust it.  I can sure tell if I miss a dose.
• Get the right amount of social interaction.  I'm an introvert and if I don't make a conscious effort to do otherwise. I'd never talk with anyone other than my wife.  It takes emotional energy for me to do it but my mental health is better if I have regular social interactions.  It's much more difficult to do that during COVID but it's worth the effort.
• Have projects that challenge me mentally.  My day job is boring so I need to make sure I've got something interesting to do outside of work.
• Talk with my spouse.  I'm lucky in that I'm married to a wonderful, supportive woman.  It took me a long time to recognize and take advantage of the fact that she's an awesome resource.  
• Meet regularly with my shrink.  I'm on an every three week schedule right now and that's enough but I adjust shorter if I seem to be heading in the wrong direction and longer if things are going well.

1:Exercise

2:i've muted every word that pisses me off on twitter so that I'm basically looking at cars, music, sports, and trains

3:introduced myself to micro dosing  mary jane, she calms the anxiety that leads to the depression

4:opened up every single broken line of communication with Carli so that we can both talk about anything without being uncomfortable- not holding stuff in and being able to talk calmly versus boiling over is liberating

5:fap.  Not kidding, it releases happy chemicals in the brain and expecting another person to be solely responsible for your sexual pleasure is a big stressful load to put on someone(phrasing).  Plus it helps have more restful sleep.  Be open and talk about it, don't be all secretive even though society has berkeleyed our heads about it and made it taboo

For me, its just acknowledging it. When i know its happening, i make a point to not entertain it and get busy.
This time of year typically sucked due to getting dark at 5:30. Last year i put in some very bright 5000k led bulbs in the old lights. That did help. This year i have installed now 24 extremely bright led panels. It can easily be daylight bright in most of the house.  They are cheap and very nice, easy to install. 

we got a dog last year and with taking her out for walks in the yard or playing ball or general dog play stuff, that helps. 
 

also this year im on some good meds that keep  anxiety at bay. The rest im pretty decent with handling. Anxiety was my worst issue and it made depression and bi-polar much worse. 
 

also im now going hard on my e36 project. Thats something im having fun with and it keeps me eager to do stuff. 
 

edit:these lights. They ROCK! I have the barina lights in the garage and these inside. 

Crazy bright lights