jrw1621
jrw1621 HalfDork
4/22/09 10:43 p.m.

From my local small town paper about an incident in "the town next door."

Couple tries to smuggle drugs into Huron County jail By CORY FROLIK | Tuesday, April 21, 2009 1:22 AM EDT NORWALK The Norwalk couple accused of robbing Kaiser Wells Pharmacy last week used their bodies to smuggle some of the drugs they stole into the Huron County jail, police said. Authorities found pills of OxyContin, a synthetic opiate, shoved inside the genitals of Megan R. Lillo, 21, and the rectum of Kurtis J. DeWitt, 23. Investigators had wondered where many of the 499 stolen pills went -- speculating at one point that the couple might have flushed some of them. Authorities surrounded DeWitt's home in Norwalk on Thursday and eventually raided the residence, but not before DeWitt and Lillo evidently tucked some of the drugs into their body cavities. DeWitt had a crude system for hiding and retrieving the pills, jail administrator Dave Battles said. He fashioned a device from a comb and pencil to fish the dozens of OxyContin pills out of his backdoor luggage compartment. Jail staff noticed DeWitt's rectum was bleeding through his clothes. "He was bleeding as a result of his fishing expedition," Battles said. Authorities seized the drugs immediately. They also searched Lillo and found more pills. The couple were put under surveillance, and the plot thickened Friday when DeWitt started complaining of abdominal pain. Battles said DeWitt came clean and admitted he had a wad of drugs, roughly the size of a tennis ball, hidden inside his body. The inmate was taken to the hospital, where tests showed the drugs were jammed deep into his colon. When enemas and digestive flushing didn't work, hospital staff called in surgeons. They were preparing to open him when the stash finally fell out. Battles said the drugs were kept in a Kool-Aid packet, wrapped in a sock, then wrapped in plastic. Lillo was charged with bringing drugs into a detention facility. Similar charges are expected to be filed against DeWitt soon. The couple were arrested last Wednesday after a pharmacy employee called to report an armed robbery and identified DeWitt as a suspect. Authorities could also pinpoint DeWitt's whereabouts during the robbery because he was fitted with an ankle monitor after being charged in November with safecracking, burglary and theft. Huron County Sheriff's Sgt. Annette McLaughlin said anyone who commits a crime while being monitored is likely acting out of desperation and not thinking logically. "Who knows what goes through these people's minds?" she asked. "Typically, people who have drug histories and stuff like that are thinking by the moment and not thinking long term." DeWitt is scheduled to be sentenced this week to an amended count of burglary and tampering with evidence for the November incident.
David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
4/22/09 11:08 p.m.

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

Wowak
Wowak Dork
4/23/09 3:19 a.m.
David S. Wallens wrote: Rectum? Damn near killed him!

Beat me to it.

Jay
Jay Dork
4/23/09 4:15 a.m.

The use of the phrase "backdoor luggage compartment" makes this article all the better.

J

John Brown
John Brown SuperDork
4/23/09 6:18 a.m.

"I shoved a tennis ball sized wad of pills up my bunghole and all I got was this lousy jail sentence"

914Driver
914Driver Dork
4/23/09 6:21 a.m.

Fishing expedition?

Pass.

Kramer
Kramer Reader
4/23/09 6:25 a.m.

He'll be popular in jail...

Wally
Wally SuperDork
4/23/09 8:10 a.m.

All the makings of a great criminal story. A crook with an ankle bracelet, a store that knows his name, and bloody bowels brought by a big ball of burgled bounty.

NYG95GA
NYG95GA Dork
4/23/09 8:45 a.m.

A Kool Aid packet, wrapped with a sock and then plastic?

If that's not grassroots, I'll kiss your .....

Tim Baxter
Tim Baxter Online Editor
4/23/09 9:13 a.m.

The size of a tennis ball

For your further edification (or nausea), the Straight Dope on gerbils, as well as an amazing list of things people have carried in their "backdoor luggage compartment":

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/478/is-it-true-what-they-say-about-gerbils

Kramer
Kramer Reader
4/23/09 9:36 a.m.

My wife had to x-ray a man who had a foreign object, well, stuck up there (stuck, like it ain't coming out). The man was married, and his mistress did the sticking, but when the object couldn't be retrieved, she split.

The hospital had to call the wife to accompany the patient at the hospital. The hospital employees all wondered how that first conversation went, and how the relationship went afterwards.

Tim Baxter
Tim Baxter Online Editor
4/23/09 9:39 a.m.

I bet it went straight in the toilet.

Jay_W
Jay_W HalfDork
4/23/09 11:03 a.m.

What has been read, cannot be un-read....

ignorant
ignorant SuperDork
4/23/09 11:31 a.m.

Somewhere. Rush Limbaugh is complaining that his drugs smell funny.

4cylndrfury
4cylndrfury HalfDork
4/23/09 11:56 a.m.
Tim Baxter wrote: I bet it went straight in the toilet.

no...remember it was stuck...it didnt go anywhere

914Driver
914Driver Dork
4/23/09 12:12 p.m.

At the local lockup they sit you on a metal stool (no pun intended) and X-Rays or something shows the cops that you're sporting something God never intended. Easier on the perps, much less stressful on the cops, less liability for the community.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it....

neon4891
neon4891 SuperDork
4/23/09 1:49 p.m.

A sock??!!! They should have grabed a pack of trogans when they where in the drud store. As for the ankle braclet...

jrw1621
jrw1621 HalfDork
4/23/09 5:35 p.m.

The dude gets sentanced to 5 years.
Story and pictures...
http://www.norwalkreflector.com/articles/2009/04/23/front/iq_730083.txt

[Mr.Mackey] Drugs are bad [/Mr.Mackey]

mel_horn
mel_horn HalfDork
4/23/09 8:40 p.m.

Why would you wrap a gerbil in duct tape?

Because they explode when...

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