how do you tell someone they need to stop driving?

Pretty much at this point with my mother, just add in "forced to quit drinking", and "just recovered from a broken leg".

Last year she had picked me an my girlfriend up from a camping trip gone...weird, and as we were leaving, she crossed the double yellows three times and did not even notice that she had....in about 10 kilometers. Told her to pull over and I took the keys.

Now, after having her leg fracture from just walking on it a few months ago, she is still in need of walking assistance, and is already starting to think that she can just jump in a car and start driving herself again. I've moved back in to help her since the leg break, and have been her chauffeur for the past few months. But I really am kind of frightened by her driving again, and so is my father. Part of which, is the idea that she will just go back to drinking again.

Pretty much at this point with my mother, just add in "forced to quit drinking", and "just recovered from a broken leg".

Last year she had picked me an my girlfriend up from a camping trip gone...weird, and as we were leaving, she crossed the double yellows three times and did not even notice that she had....in about 10 kilometers. Told her to pull over and I took the keys.

Now, after having her leg fracture from just walking on it a few months ago, she is still in need of walking assistance, and is already starting to think that she can just jump in a car and start driving herself again. I've moved back in to help her since the leg break, and have been her chauffeur for the past few months. But I really am kind of frightened by her driving again, and so is my father. Part of which, is the idea that she will just go back to drinking again.

I thought that if you were at risk for seizures, the docs automatically informed the mto and your license was pulled?

I haven't read any of the other replies, but the only possible answer is this: "Mom, you are a danger to yourself and others. You must stop driving before something tragic happens."

Tell her about my Grandmother. She told my Mom and Uncle they could take the keys from her dead body. And that's unfortunately what happened. My Mom couldn't get the doctor to help either. Simple said my Grandmother could drive locally for errands and such. Anyway truth is most fatalities happen near home at lower speeds. Even Doctor's need educating. My Grandmother was on her way to the bank to pay her phone bill (yet one more reason to pay bills online!) and pulled into an intersection against the red and was hit broadside by a truck. She died on the way to the hospital in the helivac copter. She would drive into the corner of her car port, drive over things, and just generally get worse with every drive.

YOU NEED TO HAVE THE TALK WITH HER. I miss my Grandmother.

Streetwiseguy wrote: I haven't read any of the other replies, but the only possible answer is this: "Mom, you are a danger to yourself and others. You must stop driving before something tragic happens."

Sadly, this doesn't always work

BoostedBrian wrote: She told my wife the other day that lately if she looks off the side of the road at something, she forgets to look away and starts to drift off the road and towards whatever it is she's looking at.

Difficult conversation to breech for sure, but IMO this right here is her already starting it.

IMO that has to be the conversation right there... Once she admits to you that she forgets to steer her car away from static obstacles you basically have to discuss with her that she knows that that is not OK, and the dangers it presents.

Sorry, may not be much help... especially if it was a one time comment by her... But it would seem that if she is making a comment like that, then that instant is the time for the talk... while SHE is bringing up her inability to continue to drive, not you.

You must make her stop driving, the only question is how. Try having the talk and if she still refuses then just reversibly sabotage the car. Fuel pump fuse, glow plug wire, starter motor wire, crud on the battery terminals, whatever, give it the whole works to make it hard to drive again.

My father is 92...soon to be 93, and he still drives and does okay. His biggest "problem", that I can see at the moment, is that his arthritis is getting so bad that he usually only has one hand on the wheel while his other hand is like a cramped up claw. Besides his hand/arm, he also admits that he doesn't like to drive at night or in the rain. Of all his friends, he's one of the oldest and most active so getting him to stop isn't going to be easy. Right now, I'm hoping his car will up and die on him. (He has a '02 or '03 Taurus that he says is pretty worn out and he will probably not replace it when it does die.)

So far, none of my brothers or sisters are looking at taking his car keys away, I guess because he is a pretty good driver. He's never had a really bad accident, none that required a call for an ambulance, and except for one about 5 years ago, none that he couldn't drive the car from the scene. That accident, he says someone ran into him...then fled the scene.

Hopefully, like my Mom, he will die peacefully, at home, in his sleep.

My advice in this situation? Find a way to get the police to do your "dirty work" for you, so it doesn't come off looking like you are "ratting on her". If she truely is paranoid and / or has other problems, your being "the bad guy" may make it more difficult to get her medical help.

Most states have a driver improvement program where you can file a complaint against a driver and the state will investigate the driver. In my experience, it is a toothless program where if the driver responds and appears appropriately for the hearing officer, the driving licenses are reinstated. The worst thing I have seen happen was a requirement for completion of a driver school.
Mom still wont listen to me or my sister. Her last accident she blamed on a nameless farmer; you might want to know that my mom and dad ran an insurance agency for 37 yrs and the first piece of advice after an accident was get the information on the other driver.

We are going through this with my Mom, And my Aunt's kids are trying to stop her from driving too. The old gals are using each other for reinforcement, and moral support.....to thwart our efforts.

Both get very belligerent if the matter is brought up. Mom hasn't had an accident yet, but my Aunt had three in the last year.

I make it a point to be clear, that I am always available to drive her. But she will sneak out, first thing in the mornings before I awake.

I have pulled the fuel injection fuse before.

I would try using the power of interpretive dance.

Lesley wrote: I thought that if you were at risk for seizures, the docs automatically informed the mto and your license was pulled?

That's why a lot of people refuse medical diagnosis/treatment for anything that might result in license suspension.

You did say Kentucky, right?

To report a driver to the Medical Review Board an individual must complete an affidavit that can be obtained at a Circuit Court Clerk's office or by calling the Medical Review Board at 502-564-1257. The required affidavit form may be downloaded by clicking on the appropriate link at the bottom left of this page.

Once the individual has been set up under the Medical Review Board program a medical form will be mailed for completion by the treating physician. Once this information is reviewed, the individual will be notified of the Board's decision regarding their driving privilege.

For further information regarding the Medical Review Board Program, please contact 502-564-1257 or e-mail at DDLWebServices.

It says it takes two citizens and a cooperating primary doctor.