How would you have handled this?

Lesley wrote:

David S. Wallens wrote: Kill them with kindness. A "have a nice day" or "happy holidays" would have left him dumbfounded.

This, and usually with a really big smile. With any luck, they're embarrassed enough to think about it.

Yup. You'll never see this person again anyway, so there's no point in escalating the confrontation.

"I'm filling my bike, you fat bucket of E36 M3. Back off."

Is what I'd like to say, but wouldn't. I'd use the first four words without a doubt.

Racer1ab wrote: While wearing gear, giving someone the Stig treatment is usually enough to get them to leave. If you're not behind a helmet, angrily staring someone down without resorting to trash talk works well too.

I'm a huge fan of the Stig treatment. Just stare 'em down, no words, then go back to what you were doing. Infuriates the piss out of them. This just shows how big an shiny happy person I am though, if you've really pissed me off I will publicly embarrass you by loudly pointing out what you did wrong (in his case going the wrong way) and just keep repeating it till they get embarrassed enough and leave.

"your fly's open"

IMMEDIATE situation diffusal.

try it...

-J0N

Stare him the eyes, with a blank look. No smile, no frown.

Don't say a word, just stare. Force yourself to blink as little as possible, and keep starting.. Keep staring, until they look away, apologize or both.. If they look away, without apologizing. When they look back, continue staring them in the eyes.

This strategy has never (I said never for a reason). Failed me when dealing with a problem customer, or person who was trying to intimidate me.

Also works great in contract, swap meet, or vehicle negotiations!!

Van... minivan? window van? If so, I'd call him out for being a soccer mom.

David S. Wallens wrote: Kill them with kindness. A "have a nice day" or "happy holidays" would have left him dumbfounded.

This is my choice. It tends to upset these types of people the most.

Pepper spray or a tazer.

Being an shiny happy person, because they think they can get away with it, should be punishable by death.

That said, the one way lanes is why I don't bet gas at Sam's.

"Sir, do you have time to discuss our lord Jesus?" That'll get him back in the van.

Or, pee on him.

In reply to Flyin Mikey J:

Gold (GOLD!) rape van.

You work there?

I'd go with leaving the bike there, getting your co-worker and telling them that that pump is malfunctioning.

David S. Wallens wrote: Kill them with kindness.

Why use kindness when there are so many more interesting ways to kill someone? Evisceration is just one example.

Wally wrote: I usually prefer an enthusiastic "Go berkeley Yourself" but "Up Yours" is good too. The holidays always bring out the best in people don't they.

That is practically a marriage proposal in New York, in a good mood today?

I would have responded to "That's BIG talk!" with "no, those are just the rules." because I think it would have stung more than "up yours" and maybe helped the guy realize that he was being an idiot.

Last time I did that, my "scrawny cracker ass motherberkeleyer" self almost had to defend myself.

I guess you could have questioned his reading comprehension skills...

"What part of 'DO NOT ENTER' did you not understand?"

Did you get away without any more problems? If so, you did the right thing. I'd try to forget about it.

All in all it went as well as it could. I usually do not tolerate this behavior around me, and on 2 wheels its even shorter, but, somehow I thought it through and realized it wasn't worth it. I had to go back in side to marry a smart phone for 2 years. I didn't want to worry about some turd trashing my bike.

If anything, its given me something to obsess about for the rest of the week.

Adam Corolla advises one to keep a "berkely off" locked, cocked and ready to use at a moments notice.

Sounds like you did fine in surviving the suburbia warfare.

Tip your bike over, slide under a wheel, and start moaning “why did you drive the wrong way”

I usually fill up at our Costco. I've had no problems and at times its been pretty crowded. I wouldn't dream of trying to driving in against the flow.

I wouldn't dream of filling up at our Sam's because that's just like Walmart shoppers.

I've never seen a gas station where there was a direction. Everything here is a free for all.

I used to be nice to people in parking lots, and maybe explain why I was doing something that bothered them but most people don't care for an answer they just want to tell you so they fell better about themselves. Sometimes my wife will get tired of walking in a store. I will get a wheelchair, roll her out front, then get the car am park in a handicapped spot with her permit and bring her out. Almost every time someone will come up and say "Being fat isn't a handicap" as I walk back to get my wife, The first few times I explained what I was doing. Then I ignored them so they would get in front of me and block me to make sure I heard them. Now it's just easier to be an shiny happy person and go on with my day.

Wally wrote: I've never seen a gas station where there was a direction. Everything here is a free for all.

Common around here with grocery store gas stations. They're usually tucked into a corner of the parking lot, and aren't accessable from the street.

Wally wrote: I will get a wheelchair, roll her out front, then get the car am park in a handicapped spot with her permit and bring her out. Almost every time someone will come up and say "Being fat isn't a handicap" as I walk back to get my wife...

Let me preface this with the fact that the story I'm about to tell has no bearing on you, Wally. And, I don't know what the regulations are in NY, but...

In Wisconsin, people over 300 pounds can get a handicapped parking permit.

Several years ago, Mom had double knee replacement, and got a temporary HPP. I met Mom and Dad for dinner one evening, and while Mom was extracting herself from the car (she REFUSED to be helped), another car zipped into the handicap parking space next to them and a 20-something year old man and a 40-something year old woman get out. They hustle past Mom and Dad, and Dad, who lacks a filter on his mouth, mutters, "Gee, I wonder what their handicap is?" loud enough for them to hear him. Man spins around and snaps, "My mom has anorexia!"

So, in Wisconsin, not only can you get a HPP if you are fat, you can get one if you think you're fat!

I am in the camp of stand there and stare at them until they make up their mind what they are going to do. It has worked for me well in the past.

A lot of it is a caution thing. I spend the time trying to read the guy and figure out what he is going to do. I am preparing for this to be the guy who has decided they are going to pick a fight, but suspect they just want to yell and feel tough.

They want a reaction. Anything other than flat affect gives them fuel.