If "X" built a hammer.

From another thread: Streetwiseguy wrote: If Mercedes built a hammer, it would have three moving parts and a maintenance schedule.

Seems accurate to me

I think lots of manufacturers could build there own distinct hammers. Who would build what?

I'll go first.

If Alfa Romeo built a hammer it would smell like extra virgin olive oil, and occasionally leak it too. The leaks will be surprisingly expensive to fix.

It would be the lightest in its class, but swing with the force of much larger hammers. It would have by far the sweetest ring of any hammer ever made when striking metal. It's styling would be controversial when first released, but would eventually prove to be ahead of it's time.

Don't ever leave it out in the rain, not even for a minute, the rust will eat it right before your eyes.

Ok, who's next?

If Mopar made a hammer, it would look like thors, hit like a pile driver, and have a shockingly short lived handle.

VW would build a hammer that has a 4K hit head tightening schedule, find a way to meet the federally mandated weight during testing, but be lighter in normal real world use, have an intermittent orange light that comes on randomly and persists of indeterminable amount of time for indeterminable reasons, and smell like crayons.

And I for the most part, like VW.

If Toyota built a hammer it would look like an anvil and be just about as exciting.

If Porsche made a hammer, it would be heaviest on the butt of the handle and it would spin around and hit you in the face if you aborted your swing. It would cost $300, and a non-rubberized grip would cost extra.

Edit: Their new hammers would be really good looking though

If Morgan made a hammer, it would be a nicely crafted, classy-looking wooden mallet.

if GM made a hammer, it would be really cheap, made from standard parts, and made for people who don't really care about their hammer, they just want a bunch of nails to be sunk. It might break now and then, but it would work pretty well broken, too.

If Honda built a hammer... everyone would have one

If Tesla made a hammer, they would announce it three years ahead of time, advertising that it was so efficient that it didn't actually need nails. The deposit required to learn more would cost more than other standard hammers.

If Mitsubishi build a hammer...

...wait, you mean they don't already?

DaveEstey wrote: If Toyota built a hammer it would look like an anvil and be just about as exciting.

But it would be worth the same at a swap meet as it was new in the store.

The Hyundai and Kia Hammer will look like everyone else's hammer, cost about 10% less and have the longest hammer warranty in hte business.

If Lotus made a hammer, it would be a lightweight hammer that handles very well even if it doesn't carry the most impact force, but the old ones would be unreliable and impractical, and the new ones would be expensive and need a costly replacement handle if they're ever dropped.

MadScientistMatt wrote: If Mitsubishi build a hammer... ...wait, you mean they don't already?

...It would be an awful cheap thing where the weight of the head is misstated, and they'd put their one good high-end hammer out of production?

Dusterbd13 wrote: If Mopar made a hammer, it would look like thors, hit like a pile driver, and have a shockingly short lived handle.

For the ones they made in the 60's:

Surprisingly powerful, but once you started to swing it, it wouldn't stop until it hit something.

I'm glad I inadvertently started this.

Also, I'm not claiming authorship- I kicked the slats out of my crib the first time I heard it.

How about:

If Volvo built a hammer, it would last a really long time, and would have a device to ensure your fingers were safe from errant blows, but wouldn't be quite as nice as the BMW hammer it was trying to copy.

If McLaren made a hammer, it would look like an anime weapon, have an active targeting system and a fancy hydraulic shock-absorbing handle.

If Ford built hammers:

There would be a Mustang hammer that would slip, fly out of your hand, and whack unsuspecting passersby...

They would also build a big aluminum hammer that would work as well as all the other big hammers but it would weigh less and be easier to use. The other hammer manufacturers would then make an ad campaign claiming that the big aluminum Ford hammers are weaker than their steel hammers, all the while developing their own big aluminum hammers.

Streetwiseguy wrote: Also, I'm not claiming authorship- I kicked the slats out of my crib the first time I heard it.

Wait, they had cribs way back then?

BlueInGreen44 wrote: If Ford built hammers: There would be a Mustang hammer that would slip, fly out of your hand, and whack unsuspecting passersby... They would also build a big aluminum hammer that would work as well as all the other big hammers but it would weigh less and be easier to use. The other hammer manufacturers would then make an ad campaign claiming that the big aluminum Ford hammers are weaker than their steel hammers, all the while developing their own big aluminum hammers.

Don't forget there would be recalls for spontaneous fires on most of the models.

I'm pretty sure Mercedes DID build a "Hammer", it had way more than three moving parts, and it looked like this:

If Land Rover made a hammer, they'd make one overbuilt sledgehammer that was pretty good and a bunch of so-so regular hammers that mysteriously leak fluid somehow. Then they'd have to put the sledgehammer out of production due to safety regulations.

They'd also make a bejewelled hammer that the snooty crowd can't get enough of.

If Land rover made a hammer, it could be used anywhere from Broadway to the alps.. if you could get it to work at all

If Apple made a hammer, it would be simple, elegant, and easy to swing, but it would only work with iNails and iWood.

Oh, I just found some low hanging fruit!

If BMW made a hammer they would market it as "The Ultimate Driving Machine".