If the olympics made a hammer it would be the best in the world at it's highly specific version of hammering. So highly specific in fact that you would need highly trained commentators to tell you what the various hammer activities were. Despite this, and the fact that it only happened every 4 years, some blowhard co-worker would act like he was an expert on underwater synchronized hammering.
If Donald Trump built a hammer... boy what a great hammer this would be. Let me tell you. I know hammers. And these hammers would be the best hammers. We are going to make American hammer again!
If Yamaha built a hammer it would fit perfectly in your hand, drive nails expertly sinking them on the first strike and look good doing it.
(First Japanese vehicle I have ever owned and I am in love)
Beer Baron wrote: If Donald Trump built a hammer... boy what a great hammer this would be. Let me tell you. I know hammers. And these hammers would be the best hammers. We are going to make American hammer again!
On the flip side if Hillary made a hammer, she would use it from home but never for anything important. Then she'd lose the hammer when the senate committee askes to see it and she never knew there was a hammer. Then the Director of the FBI will admit that there was a hammer, but since she didn't intend to use the hammer it's OK and no need to worry. Meanwhile the chinese snuck into the basement, found hte hammer and are using it to build their own hammers.
If I built a hammer, it would be in boxes all over the shop.
There would be a small pile of new parts, that are waiting on cooler/warmer weather for installation.
There is a fair chance it would also need to have the paint finished.
And last but not least, there would be a newly acquired project hammer in the driveway...
In reply to Bobzilla:
Yup. 
The "Trump" hammer came to mind quickly. I trusted that someone here would be able to come up with a better "Hillary" hammer than if I rushed it.
If Bernie sanders built a hammer, he would buold a very agreeable hammer that many young people would identify with, and want in an ideal society. Only too late would they all realize that they don't want equal hammers, they only want hammers if they're more equal for themselves.
If my garage made a hammer it would be made of missing 10mm sockets and empty guiness cans but it would somehow kick ass in chumphammer competitions.
if Binford Tools made a hammer, it would have a turbine engine and explode halfway through the house.
mndsm wrote: If Bernie sanders built a hammer, he would buold a very agreeable hammer that many young people would identify with, and want in an ideal society. Only too late would they all realize that they don't want equal hammers, they only want hammers if they're more equal for themselves.
And none of them would work. 
In reply to Nick (picaso) Comstock:
Yeah, those Yamaha hammers tend to under promise and hugely over deliver. Thier satisfied customers are their best advertising, and they make anyone hammer like a fine craftsman.
OTOH, Suzuki, although making hammers that excel in competition in the hands of craftsman, tend to attract the kinds of unskilled workers that love to hammer things out in fast sloppy bursts in a straight line, over and over again.
Toyman01 wrote:mndsm wrote: If Bernie sanders built a hammer, he would buold a very agreeable hammer that many young people would identify with, and want in an ideal society. Only too late would they all realize that they don't want equal hammers, they only want hammers if they're more equal for themselves.And none of them would work.
Yeah, I wasn't gonna poke thst bear. I'm close enough that Mrs. Suddard really could bury me in her patio.
HappyAndy wrote: In reply to Nick (picaso) Comstock: Yeah, those Yamaha hammers tend to under promise and hugely over deliver. Thier satisfied customers are their best advertising, and they make anyone hammer like a fine craftsman. OTOH, Suzuki, although making hammers that excel in competition in the hands of craftsman, tend to attract the kinds of unskilled workers that love to hammer things out in fast sloppy bursts in a straight line, over and over again.
And without proper hats and toolbelts. Because doing construction in a flatbill and flip flops is a good idea.
If Royal Caribbean built a hammer.. it would be great for a week, but you could only use it around 6360 other people
mad_machine wrote: If Royal Caribbean built a hammer.. it would be great for a week, but you could only use it around 6360 other people
And it would occasionally poison you.
If Comcast made a hammer, it would be the only hammer available. It would pound every nail crooked, and if you called them to get help, you'd be directed to a hammer specialist in India who can't solve your problem.
In reply to Tom_Spangler:
I hate the Comcast hammer, I'd rather not have a hammer than put up with one of Thiers.
GameboyRMH wrote: If Lotus made a hammer, it would be a lightweight hammer that handles very well even if it doesn't carry the most impact force, but the old ones would be unreliable and impractical, and the new ones would be expensive and need a costly replacement handle if they're ever dropped.
If lotus made a hammer, they'd buy a head from toyota and mount it on a fiberglass handle that would break the first time you used it.
If Time Warner made a hammer it would take a week to get it installed and then it would work flawlessly for about a month. Then you will notice a general slowdown until you are barely sinking 5mb of nails per minute. Then when you call customer service they try to blame it on your router.
T.J. wrote: If Flyin' Miata made a hammer, they would start with a light agile tack hammer and replace the head with a 5 pound sledge.
"You want the sort of hammer that when you hit something, it stays hit".
- Keith Tanner
If Cummins made a hammer, it would weigh 1000 lbs and would just work and work and work and work. But the carrying case would fall apart.
If Audi made a hammer they would nearly go out of business fighting off the lawsuits from carpenters who keep smashing their own thumbs.
If Stephen King made a hammer it would come with a 900 page instruction manual describing in great detail how the hammer came alive at night and terrorized the neighborhood.
Dressed like a clown! 
If Led Zeppelin had made a hammer.. it would still be spawning Tribute Hammers
If BMW made a hammer it would push to the front of the line to hammer nails with no indication to the other hammers
mad_machine wrote: If Led Zeppelin had made a hammer.. it would still be spawning Tribute Hammers
Led Zeppelin would build the Hammer of the Gods.
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