Learn me: Alzheimer's disease

mtn said:
 

• Some things are heartbreaking, but there is also some sweetness in it. For instance, I was helping some low-functioning patients with coloring books. One woman colored a dog, she did a great job coloring it in various shades of blue. I think she must have been an artist. Every shade was deliberate, and it was probably the best coloring book dog I've ever seen. Shortly after she finished, she was staring at another page to color, and I'd come back and asked if she needed any help. She said, "well, I want to do this, but I just don't have any ideas! This person did a beautiful job though!" as she pointed at her blue dog. 15 minutes later, she was coloring whatever else it was, in a normal color, and said "Look at that - a blue dog! who ever heard of a blue dog!" It was sweet, beautiful, silly, and heartbreaking all at once. 

Have a great aunt who died last year after making it past 100. Towards the end her memories seemed to be travelling backwards in time. At one point me and my mom paid her a visit. She sees my mom and with great surprise says "Oh little [Mom's name], you got old!" That cracked everyone up

My Dad has passed away since my previous comment. 
 

The hardest thing about dementia was my own feelings. I'm a grown-ass man, but I realized I still expected my Daddy to be big and strong.

My Dad lived with me the last couple years. I'm really thankful for that time- it was often hard, but also fantastically sweet.

In reply to SV reX :

I so sorry to hear this.  Take solace in that he is released from this despicable disease.   Also in that you had a lot of time with him.  My father died a long long time ago.  I find myself getting mad at him for not being around later when I needed him.  

One of the things that scares the hell out of me is thinking she may become one of those scared and angry people, not knowing who I am and being suspicious of my motives. That may very well happen, but thus far she's totally aware of what's going on and extremely happy that I'm there to help. I hope it doesn't come down to that but I'm aware that it may and probably will.

 

 

How about getting some framed photos with you and your Mom in them and place them around the house , 

Also a video on your phone with the 2 of you , 

And I have seen where music from their youth can calm them down and put them in a good mood , maybe try that before it's needed, 

Good luck

I'll bring this back and conclude it on a somber note. My Mom died a week ago today. She had deteriorated very rapidly, and had a number of falls while she wandered around the long term care home. The last one, she ended up with a broken hip which probably took longer to diagnose than it should have. I took her in for surgery to repair it, but she never really recovered after surgery, was sleeping almost 100% of the time and about three weeks after, just stopped breathing. That was no way to live and I know she wouldn't have wanted to be like that.

It's hard to believe I started this thread a little more than two years ago. We could still carry on a meaningful conversation, and she was, with the help of stepdad, still living at home, and pulling it off. It shows you just how quickly dementia can progress.

No condolences are required, I know how everybody feels. It's a sad time, but at the same time, she would not have wanted to live in this condition. Our grieving had taken place in the last year and a bit, watching her go from reasonably lucid to not knowing who anybody was, or even able to speak. That was, honestly, for somebody as full of life and energy as her, the hardest part.

Hey, I know no condolences are needed, and that you made your peace with it as it was happening, but it's still a loss. We're all here for you.

Here for you.

I remember with my grandparents having the feeling that we had already mourned the loss as what remained after all of the loss of cognition and recall was more of a shell of the person they were. I felt a lot of guilt for feeling more like it was a release than a loss. That what remained of them was free from all of the confusion that alzheimers causes. I guess I hope that me saying that helps if you are feeling similarly. 

Thanks.

Relief is the word that comes to mind, and I've explained it that way to most involved and surprisingly they've all agreed, and said they thought I had the right attitude. It's difficult to say, but I don't feel bad about it. I cared for her these last 3-4 years, which was a lot of work, and I'm guessing isn't that common because I received a lot of praise for doing so.  She used to say, she didn't know what was going to happen, but was happy knowing I would be there and would do the right thing for her, and I think I did. You're so good to your mother she used to say.

Annie and I offer our sincere condolences to you, even though you said not required. From experience, we feel they are helpful. It is a terrible disease. Annie's father, my mom, and many others within our sphere have suffered and passed from this. We are very sorry for your loss. Please know that others care.

Reading this topic again from page 1 hit me right in the feels. Thank you for sharing this inevitable news with your GRM siblings.

Sounds like you were a wonderful son when mom really needed you, Peabody.

Watching a parent deteriorate is not something that I wish on anyone, it kills me at times and I'm sorry you had to go thru it.

If you like scotch, one day when I make it too the challenge I'll share a bottle or 6 with you

You have friends here.

I posted on this very thread back on page 1.  My pops passed away Sept. 13th of this year.  It wasn't really unexpected, but you're never really ready for it when it happens.

My condolences.