Life-changing decisions?

Something really big has come up for my family. It would mean drastic changes (moving cross-country, leaving guaranteed work in a field I've spent the last two years preparing for and SWMBO's guaranteed work she's been at for 6 years) for essentially a gamble.

I know I can make that gamble work. I really, truly do. It would use every bit of my education and experience and mean at least a year of crazy hard work. I also think it's the best decision for the long-term future of my family because when it works we'll be set for life.

But the short-term implications suck so bad.

Sorry for no specifics yet, I need to talk to Mrs. Javelin first and get a feel for if it's even something in the cards. I just learned about it yesterday and the beer last night didn't help make it any clearer to me.

How do you make the choice to walk away from half the family, a house, and two jobs?

Do the benefits outweigh the costs? No one has achieved greatness by playing it safe. If you believe with all your heart you can make it work, then by all means brother, get after it. If you have doubts, then address them.

we have moved 13 times in 26 years............been here 1 year and ready to go again.........keep it in the road!

It's hard. I haven't been able to do it yet. Security is just so secure.

Without knowing the details on the Gamble and your particular suitability to take that gamble it's hard to give advice.

Is your Family in the Area you are now? No family anywhere close to where you are going?

Is family support important?

What's important to you and your immediate family (spouse child) and how does this Gamble help or hurt those important items?

Good luck with your discussions and remember that if your wife doesn't think it's a good idea it is no reflection on her wanting you to be happy or wanting to limit you. It's just that given the situation the gamble won't in her eyes pay off and you have to respect that if it's the choice (been guilty of starting to feel this way before but came around on realizing that).

You can always move back. You may come back poorer, broken, and without confidence, but you can always come back.

I think it also depends a lot on your happiness. If your unhappy where you are, you've got nothing to lose. If you love everything about your current location except that it doesn't hold your dream job, remember that its just a job.

I left family friends and comfort because I wanted to, and still do, want to live somewhere else than the place I grew up, but I've come to terms with the idea that when the time comes to move home, I'll work any job necessary to be close to parents, grandparents, and friends. In the meantime, I want to be able to experience other places for longer than a vacation.

In reply to Conquest351:

^This . . .

I've been talking to myself over a beer today and I getting short end of the stick playing it safe.

When it's time to make a move and you have that chance, I would rather say "Well I tried it and it didn't work" than say "Shoulda, woulda, but didn't" and never know if it could.

Failure sucks something fierce, but it beats regret any day.

Best thing I ever did was take a chance. When I landed in San Antonio (moved from Washington state) I had $107 in my pocket and a 30 year old truck... Now?

It always comes down to opportunity rewards, opportunity cost, and risk of failure. It sounds to me like you have an awful lot of opportunity cost here. The reward of the risk better be amazing to venture something like that in that stage of your life. Just a bunch of questions to ponder, and I'm sure most of it you've already thought of:

Will you regret not trying? Have you researched exactly what the heck you'd be getting into? Any chance that this will end up with you broke, homeless and alone where you have no friends? How much of a chance of recovery if it all goes to crap? You'll be uprooting yourself, Mrs. Javelin, children? from the life that they know and are comfortable with. You have to be honest with yourself and with your family: is this something YOU want, or is it something truly good for the whole family?

Whatever happens, just remember that it has to be both you and Mrs Javelin truly agreeing on it. If it's not truly a mutual decision, then it will come back to haunt you.

nocones wrote: Is your Family in the Area you are now? No family anywhere close to where you are going? Is family support important?

My family is split between California and Florida. Her family is here in Washington. The gamble involves my family in Florida. We would be moving to FL, and my family is both large and very close.

I jumped on a plane to the US with a few thousand bucks in my pocket and only a couple of vague contacts, leaving behind a house in the UK and decent career over there. And my 911 . OK, it helped that my wife lived over here, but she didn't have a job at that point in time either.

Two years down the line and we just bought our first house together, literally a week ago. So the gamble can pay off (and IIRC I'm older than you are - these things get harder when you get older).

Most of my family is 6000-7000 miles away and a lot of friends are, too. That sucks, but that's also partially what Skype and Facebook have been invented for.

scardeal wrote: Any chance that this will end up with you broke, homeless and alone where you have no friends?

No on all counts. it's about the "safest" gamble there is, for about a year. I'm thinking if that if it doesn't work in a year, move back. We're both going through extreme states of flux with our current jobs and have considered relocating to 40 miles south all year. So, we were already thinking about changes. This would just be 3,000 miles of change instead of 40...

In that case, get thyself into a U-Haul, pronto.

If you are that sure of things do what BHT said.

BoxheadTim wrote: Get thyself into a U-Haul, pronto!

So it is written, so shall it be done!!!

Except I would say to look at budget, likely to be much cheaper (uhaul charges by mile IIRC)

Gotta get my facts straight and talk to SWMBO when she returns from camping with her family (which means she'll hopefully be sick of them...).

If it works out how I think it would, we'd be able to afford to fly back and visit a lot.

BTW the gamble would have me in the car business, and marketing. Considering how much ink I've generated this year...

Hungary Bill wrote: Failure sucks something fierce, but it beats regret any day. Best thing I ever did was take a chance. When I landed in San Antonio (moved from Washington state) I had $107 in my pocket and a 30 year old truck... Now?

Now you live in a third world country and have a 40 year old car I keed, I keed.

I've moved across country without a job and we made it work. Last job change I took a pay cut to land the gig. Within 6 months had doubled my earnings... After that - I think I'll always wonder about taking a job when working for myself felt like it was turning a corner.

I hate change, and thus, can't offer reasonable advice. I'm wishing you wisdom in the decision making process, though.

I would say that family in the area definitely makes the situation sound less risky than it did at first.

Just ask yourself "Which option will get me laid more?", and go from there. Well, that's what I'd do!

scardeal wrote: I would say that family in the area definitely makes the situation sound less risky than it did at first.

I would actually be working with my family business...

BoxheadTim wrote: In that case, get thyself into a U-Haul, pronto.

Penske, please

I was not a gambler in my earlier years, mainly because of the old ball and chain. I feel like I could load up a good sized van and just head west. Or any direction except way north. My hick blood is just too thin.

Do it. I had the opportunity to relocate to an are I'd love to live in. I stayed because of family ties. I regret it all the time.

Yes, Penske over U-haul but do the math and you may find ABF's U-Pack semi trailer to be a much easier and cost effective choice. www.upack.com

Best of luck on the decision.
What does this have to do with the Javelin starting yesterday?
Are you moving to Florida to resurrect all the AMC's for both fortune and fame?

jrw1621 wrote: What does this have to do with the Javelin starting yesterday?

Don't good things come in 3's?