My automatic transmission woes

My life is currently being ruined by automatic transmissions:

I have a 1991 Honda Accord, the "S" light (for the transmission) blinks after a couple minutes of driving and it shifts a bit hard, but I got no codes out of the transmission computer when I jumped the diagnostic connector under the passenger-side dash. It's time to sell this thing and people are understandably leery of a car with an error light. The transmission does not slip and has the proper amount of fluid.

A cash-strapped friend of mine has a 1993 Ford Taurus, his car will barely move under it's own power, but still has a very positive feeling 'bump' to it when you move it to D or R from Park. He's convinced that it's "something small," like some electrical gremlin. I say that most Ford autos are made of glass and 'meh' and he needs to find a new transmission in a junkyard, or scrap the thing and buy my Accord.

Any ideas? I've tried searching the make/model forums with no luck.

Sell me the accord for $100, problem solved.

Interestingly, that is the most common response to my craigslist ad.

Driving that car makes me into a horrible driver, there's nothing really to do or think about without a clutch or shifter so my attention wanders until I'm totally zoned out thinking about tacos or Olivia Munn or something... then I almost crash!.

I don't understand how people do it.

they have years more experience being horrible, inattentive drivers than you do. simple as that

I'd drop a used transmission into the accord, or just change out the shift noids, would most likely fix the problem.