Wish you peace and freedom from pain. Hope you can go see momma soon. I continue to be impressed with the raw humanity and compassion among members of GRM.
Wish you peace and freedom from pain. Hope you can go see momma soon. I continue to be impressed with the raw humanity and compassion among members of GRM.
Glad to hear there's a light at the end of the tunnel!
This is what drives me crazy. I talked to the neurologist today. The other doctor yesterday. They don't know what happened. She was just non-responsive, then she recovered and is now back to where she was. The MRI showed mini-strokes but nothing that could set this off. She suffers from serious dementia. She doesn't know who I am about half the time. They don't know. She is going back to the nursing home today or tomorrow. She does have heart problems and the cut back on blood thinner because of that. They don't want to increase blood thinner because of her heart. But that may or may not have anything to do with what happened this weekend. The nurse told me a bunch of stuff about putting a feeding tube in. That never happened. Said she was non-responsive and for me to make my plans. Then all of a sudden she is OK again. I am so confused still. Maybe this is just something I can't do anything about. I put mom in the best nursing home I could find. She got both of her Covid shots. She is going to a major hospital with a good reputation. I handle all of her finances. There is nothing more I can do.
Seeing the chiropractor again tomorrow. Reading up on stress management techniques. Chiropractor says my whole body is stiff. Not just the lower back where it hurts. Upper back is stiff and inflamed too. MD says high blood pressure and grinding teeth are serious stress problems. Recommends accupuncture and some stress management techniques. Every medical problem I have is stress related. Stress is killing me.
You really are and have been doing all you can do for your mother. To the point that you cant think of more things you can do, which is hard to almost impossible to accept and makes you run in hopeless circles.
I hope you can come to feel the good job you are doing and find comfort in it, you deserve to.
Don't sweat that the stress has gotten to you like this. I've fallen down the hole on it before too. It means you try hard and care.
So cortisol is the hormone that the body creates in response to stress, too much of it creates inflammation issues, in addition to tightness, retention of water, salt and elevating blood pressure. Ashwagandha is cheap, like 9 to 14 bucks for a 30 or 60 day supply, and it will help reduce the cortisol levels. In turn the chiropractor will have an easier time in making adjustments on your back because it won't be as tight and stiff. It's not a magic bullet but in conjunction with other things it will definitely help.
In reply to Apexcarver :
There is more to it than this. When Dad died they were so bad off financially that I had to put his funeral on my credit card. There was a second and third mortgage on the house that my Mom did not even know about. She signed off of them but she didn't read them. I took her into my house sold her house and helped her straighten out the mess Dad left her in. About 9 months later my sister, who had problems with drug abuse and sucked my father dry financially, died and left another mess. Another house in my Dad's name that actually belonged to my Mother, needing maintenance, going into foreclosure and filled with her druggie friends who did not want to leave. I don't really want to go into detail here but let's just say that was another mess I ended up having to clean up.
Mom ended up moving into my house and I took care of her for years, two heart surgeries, one carotid artery surgery, several strokes and dementia that two years ago moved her from my house to at nursing home. I have been taking care of her for about 15 years now. She married my dad when she was 18 and had never lived on her own until Dad died. Dad took care of her from age 18 till he died. I took care of her after that. There was alcoholism and drug use involved. Maybe gambling and poor use of money in general. Drug abuse by my sister, and on and on. I was the good kid. The Eagle Scout. On the Football Team, on to a selective college and grad school. My adopted sister was the bad kid. Pregnant and abortion by age 15. Ran with a rough crowd. Barely got through high school with my mother writing her papers. Drinking, drug use and multiple divorces when Dad's money supporting her the whole way. Mom had to work past her 60s as a substitute teacher so Dad could send my sister money to keep her expensive house in Denver, and she couldn't even have decent clothes to go to work in because sister just wrecked her car and needed a new one. Mom had a hard life. Her dad's (my grandfather's) business was destroyed by the Depression. Had to work her way through school after she married my Dad. It goes on and on. I wanted to make it up to her having such a hard life.
captdownshift (Forum Supporter) said:So cortisol is the hormone that the body creates in response to stress, too much of it creates inflammation issues, in addition to tightness, retention of water, salt and elevating blood pressure. Ashwagandha is cheap, like 9 to 14 bucks for a 30 or 60 day supply, and it will help reduce the cortisol levels. In turn the chiropractor will have an easier time in making adjustments on your back because it won't be as tight and stiff. It's not a magic bullet but in conjunction with other things it will definitely help.
Thanks. I might try that. There is a Whole Foods down the street.
In reply to Snowdoggie (Forum Supporter) :
Someday you and I need to meet and have some time over beers. Many differences, but it sounds like we have a lot in common.
Her being responsive is a good sign, hopefully they figure out what's causing all the issues.
As someone that went through having my parent very sick and not being able to actually see them.....it was very hard. Phone calls sucked with the doctor " oh he seems better today, by the way we've put 82 gallons of blood in him so far ( that's not an exaggeration btw, even though I wish it was)".
I hope things get better for both you soon.
I'm taking the Ashwaganda now. Going back to the Chiropractor for an adjustment at noon. The back is loosening up. I should be fixable. My mother, on the other hand, they can't give her blood thinners to stop the strokes because she has a tendency to fall and bleed. Her dementia will continue to get worse. I am having to deal with the hard truth that I will loose her sooner or later. And losing my parents moves me that much closer to the time of of my own death. I have to think of what I want to accomplish and what my own bucket list is with the limited time I have left. I have a lot to think about.
In reply to Snowdoggie (Forum Supporter) :
I'm sorry you are going through this. I lost my Dad last year, and have several people in my life nearing the end of their life. I understand.
I have a suggestion to help you cope. How about starting a thread that celebrates all the good things about your mother (and about your own life)? I know it's difficult to focus on that, but it's not healthy to be focused on the negative.
I've read your threads, out of genuine concern. But it occurred to me this morning that I've heard many, many comments about how bad things are, but I know nothing about your mother at all. Share some things you enjoy about her, and about your life. Make it about celebrating her, instead of "woe is me".
I'm not criticizing. You are going through a lot, and have the right to feel stressed. I'm sorry you are going through this.
In reply to SVreX (Forum Supporter) :
Mom was actually San Joaquin County Teacher of the Year and was in the running for California Teacher of the Year back in the late 1970s. She flew down to Los Angeles for the event and my father arranged for a limousine and a dozen roses to meet her at LAX.
She had an incredible career. Started, but never finished her Masters in Education. She didn't get her BA until age 40. I went to her graduation! She taught English at a Community College here in Dallas in her late 70s. When she retired she wanted to write books about her experiences in education. Dementia caught up with her before she could do this. I found notes in her room. It was sad she was unable to write the books she planned.
Very cool. My dad was a teacher as well. He (as well as my own teachers) gave me a great appreciation of the profession.
Apexcarver said:In reply to Snowdoggie (Forum Supporter) :
Someday you and I need to meet and have some time over beers. Many differences, but it sounds like we have a lot in common.
I'll buy the first beer.
Fairly sure momma is very proud of you. Even if the dementia has taken away any evidence of that. I hope you make peace with the fact that you've done as much as you could. She sounds awesome.
I have to applaud the way you've stepped in after your father died to help your Mom, and be the rock your family needed. Hag in there, and know you're doing the right thing.
It sounds like your Mom had a lot going on, and even with all that it's important that you take care of your self. I'm glad to hear that your back is doing better. Just remember that there are a lot of things outside of our control. I'm saying that as much for me as for you :-)
I hope that your Mom and back continue to improve.
You'll need to log in to post.
