Not trying to be creepy yet creepy

In reply to curtis73:

So assuming the guy walking out of a chicken restaurant has chicken is racist?

Also according to that video I suffer from resting a-hole face.

Was on the Ferris Wheel on the Santa Monica pier with a group of people, knowing one of their Father's had committed suicide, before I could stop my self I wondered out loud if anyone had committed suicide by jumping off the ferris wheel.

Took a first date to a movie....picked "Eyes Wide Shut". Yeah that was a mistake. Then the next date (same girl)I ran a redlight and hit a volvo. She had to go to the hospital, but luckily no major injuries. Amazingly I got a 3rd date and we continued dating for awhile, then one night she was at my apartment and her Mom called saying her ex boyfriend had died in an ATV accident. She got hysterical and that was the last time we dated. Talk about a doomed relationship.

I keep hoping to get to the age where I figure out how to NOT be tremendously awkward/socially creepy when it's just a mistake. I'm getting better at it but it's been a struggle. I have learned to keep my idiot mouth shut at work, there is always someone out there who is looking to take something innocent the wrong way and run to HR about it. Upshot is, and I give this advice to all who will listen: no matter what DO NOT flirt or date in the workplace.

"Have you seen that routine by Ron Jeremy... Er. I mean Ron White..."

Burrito Enthusiast is the king of creepy and awkward. It usually involves an excessive amount of eye contact, leaning forward and repeating unimportant words from the last sentence he spoke.

It is totally intentional and hilarious.

In reply to Wally:

That's screwed up.

DrBoost wrote: When I hug just about any woman, as I hug her tight I say "you smell different when you're awake". They take it the wrong way EVERY TIME!!

Did this to my wife's best friend. She(friend) is a mildly plump jewish woman from New York. First time I met her, gave her a hug, and whispered in a deep Southern "Deliverance" voice..."My, you sure do smell purdy." Apparently, she couldn't look my wife in the eyes for a week and would hang up every time I answered the phone. My wife says I'm not allowed to talk or make eye contact with her anymore... sigh.

SWMBOs ministers wife called the house a couple months ago and asked to talk to my wife. I told her my wife said she was meeting with her and if she isn't there that means she's out messing around, just wait till gets home. The ministers wife tried covering and everything she said I kept twisting around. Went on about 20 minutes. My Son-in-law walked in while I was doing this on the phone and he started cracking up laughing. When SWMBO got home later she was laughing and said the ministers wife went looking for her and found her at church and told her what I said. Apparently she took it seriously and couldn't understand why my wife was laughing about it. SWMBO had to explain it to her.

I should mention my wife of 32 years is Korean and attends a Korean church. The minister and wife is Korean and don't fully understand American culture. The wife speaks better English than the minister but still has some language problems. There is only one other Korean lady that understands my humor and often turns it around on me. Her husband is a retired army Colonel. I'm retired army too but enlisted.

SWMBO tells me once in a while not to pick on them so much. I tell her that's no fun.

Not exactly creepy, but representative of how I can be extremely off-putting even when I'm trying to be friendly.

One of the other regulars at the diner I frequent had made a remarkable comeback from a bike accident that literally tore off the lower half of his face--like, you-wouldn't-know-it-to-look-at-him remarkable--and also speaks very, very loudly. One morning he was telling a story at a deafening level, and I got the bright idea to say to him, "The doctors sure didn't make you any quieter when they put your face back on!" Delivered with a smile, of course, because, you know, it's funny.

THAT didn't go well. This happened probably a year ago, and he still barely speaks to me. Apparently "always" is the answer to "how soon is too soon to joke about a potentially disfiguring accident?". Who knew.

Margie

In reply to Marjorie Suddard:

Well, I laughed, anyway. Then again... I've suffered thru the awkward treatment you get after laying out a good, if ill timed, rape joke at the Women's Resource Center.

This thread makes me feel like a normal person. Stop!

In reply to Marjorie Suddard:

Did he shut up for a while? If so, I wouldn't worry about it overmuch.

In reply to Marjorie Suddard:

Followup with "did you damage your ass in the accident as well? Because it seems like you're very susceptible to butthurt..." to break the ice again.

NONACK wrote: In reply to Marjorie Suddard: Followup with "did you damage your ass in the accident as well? Because it seems like you're very susceptible to butthurt..." to break the ice again.

No, no, no! That would lead to an inevitable Face-Off.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote:

NONACK wrote: In reply to Marjorie Suddard: Followup with "did you damage your ass in the accident as well? Because it seems like you're very susceptible to butthurt..." to break the ice again.

No, no, no! That would lead to an inevitable Face-Off.

Well, we wouldn't want that, it could lead to someone losing face.

Marjorie Suddard wrote: Not exactly creepy, but representative of how I can be extremely off-putting even when I'm trying to be friendly. One of the other regulars at the diner I frequent had made a remarkable comeback from a bike accident that literally tore off the lower half of his face--like, you-wouldn't-know-it-to-look-at-him remarkable--and also speaks very, very loudly. One morning he was telling a story at a deafening level, and I got the bright idea to say to him, "The doctors sure didn't make you any quieter when they put your face back on!" Delivered with a smile, of course, because, you know, it's funny. THAT didn't go well. This happened probably a year ago, and he still barely speaks to me. Apparently "always" is the answer to "how soon is too soon to joke about a potentially disfiguring accident?". Who knew. Margie

Was he wearing one of the small "skull cap" type helmets? I hate those. I hit a car and face planted with a full-face on, which was bad enough.

At work I was skewering chicken when my team lead came in asking a question. She was not looking at me. She asked me if I got that. "No" I said.

She began telling the long list of things to do. She was a pasty German girl from Wisconsin, and I didn't hate her, but she did things that made work not 100% fun. At the end she asked, again, if I got that. My brain began screaming "NO! DON'T!," but I said, straight faced,

"I'm sorry. I don't speak Spanish," and went back to work. The confused look on her face was worth it.

I asked a girl at work if she wanted a cup of coffee. She said yes and I asked her how she liked it. She said, "Just cream in it".

And then we just kind of looked at each other for a few awkward moments...

Woody wrote: I asked a girl at work if she wanted a cup of coffee. She said yes and I asked her how she liked it. She said, "Just cream in it". And then we just kind of looked at each other for a few awkward moments...

Same thing happened to me. I handed a manilla envelope to our Adobe InDesign girl and said "do you mind sticking this where it goes?" She kinda giggled but I looked at her blank-faced and thought-screamed at myself "Do Not Acknowledge Double Entendre Do Not Acknowledge Double Entendre Do Not Acknowledge Double Entendre Do Not Acknowledge Double Entendre Do Not Acknowledge Double Entendre Do Not Acknowledge Double Entendre Do Not Acknowledge Double Entendre Do Not Acknowledge Double Entendre"

I walked up to a girl at the paint counter at Lowe's the other day and said "I'm looking for some black caulk."

Ditchdigger wrote: Burrito Enthusiast is the king of creepy and awkward. It usually involves an excessive amount of eye contact, leaning forward and repeating unimportant words from the last sentence he spoke. It is totally intentional and hilarious.

Nice, NICE!

Protip: Go dead in the eye's. Get's 'em every time.

At work we are generally in teams of three or four. New girl (23ish) assumes I'm not "with it" due to my gray hair and "resting bitch face". During a break this convo happens...

Me "I'm going inside to get some coffee"

NG "where's Pat?"

Me "He's inside the building tossing salad" said with a total stone face

NG about chokes on her sandwich "he's WHAT?"

Still stone faced.

Me "I'm not going to judge what he does for money but I think he is actually tossing a spinach salad for lunch".

I've also said more than my share of dumb things to females over the years. Hitting on girls usually broke down to "NICE HAIR YOU HAS REALLY WHITE TEETH" so there's that.

Marjorie Suddard wrote: Apparently "always" is the answer to "how soon is too soon to joke about a potentially disfiguring accident?". Who knew. Margie

My mom cracked a joke about my predicament when she met me in the ER. As her way of saying "Hello".

This is probably why my sense of humor tends to not have any kind of boundaries.

(what she said was "Hey, how's it hangin'?" You can fill in the blanks)

Knurled wrote:

Marjorie Suddard wrote: Apparently "always" is the answer to "how soon is too soon to joke about a potentially disfiguring accident?". Who knew. Margie

My mom cracked a joke about my predicament when she met me in the ER. As her way of saying "Hello". This is probably why my sense of humor tends to not have any kind of boundaries. (what she said was "Hey, how's it hangin'?" You can fill in the blanks)

You have the same problem as the main character in The Sun Also Rises?

curtis73 wrote: On an observation duty with my friend (a policeman). We stopped and got some Popeye's chicken. As we sat there in his cruiser eating chicken, a black man came out of Popeye's with a bag. In an attempt to make idle conversation I said, "whatcha got in the bag, fried chicken?" He said, "no, its diapers." I had no idea that I committed a massive racial slur without intending it until later when the police department got a phone call about a racist cop in unit #155.

I was in the passenger seat of my gf's car on the way home from work and eating a banana. I finish up and roll the window down to toss the peel.

Well, we're driving slowly in traffic and I spot a garbage can up ahead. I got this!

I don't got this. About half an inch high and it sails right over... and into the feet of the black woman standing at the bus stop on the other side.

I was beyond mortified.