imgon
Reader
7/16/17 6:36 p.m.
I have no words to ease your pain but will echo others comments that time will help. There is nothing quite as devastating as loosing a loved one, especially suddenly. Keep the good times in your heart and when feeling down try to pull out those good memories to suppress the sadness. Staying healthy is important too, so try to eat and sleep well. I can see going out and doing things but maybe you will want to wait a while before dating. Mostly remember that you have a ton of people here that care about you and will be glad to help, listen or lend a hand. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Things will get better.
Dammit. So sorry. Let me know if I can help in any way. I strongly suggest talking to a psychologist. And if you don't like that psychologist, find another, and another, until you find one that works for you.
A good friend saved my life by riding my ass with that advice.
I have had a few days lately that I have felt good and almost like I did before Carrie died. It is still damned tough but I have had moments that show me that the end is not nigh.
This photo was on Saginaw Bay in June 2016
That is some beautiful scenery, glad to know your having better days. Roll with it 
pilotbraden wrote:
I have had a few days lately that I have felt good and almost like I did before Carrie died. It is still damned tough but I have had moments that show me that the end is not nigh
This is the best thing I have read in a long time. Keep doing what you are doing. You will get more of those days.
Vacation and good friends are helping me out immensely.
In reply to pilotbraden:
Really, really glad to hear from you. 
I have not been following your other thread closely but I am really glad for you. Sounds like the adventure is being good for you.
In reply to pilotbraden:
Good friends will do that,keep us updated please but enjoy yourself FIRST!
I have been having some strange feelings lately. Last Sunday I was driving my truck home from a friend's cabin. I am at cruising speed on the highway and get a strong feeling that Carrie is riding shotgun. It just seems normal, so I reached over and tried to grab her knee. I used to do that regularly when we were in the car, she would laugh and jump . This time I reached over to an empty seat but it seemed as if she was there . I then looked and Carrie was not there but I still felt her presence. It felt so good and so sad at the same time. I started telling her repeatedly that I love her and miss her and that i am not angry with her. I believe that she was with me for about 3 miles . When I couldn't feel her any longer I began to sob uncontrollably. I hope that she is at peace.
She will always be with you. And, it's ok to be mad at her, that's one of the natural grief stages and it will pass but you must let yourself feel what you feel in order to move forward.
In reply to EastCoastMojo :
Thanks for the response. I am not angry with Carrie, I feel guilty about giving her an ultimatum that I was pretty sure that she would not be able to keep. I can't get past the fact that if she had not been afraid of losing me she could have had a better chance to survive being at home instead of the McDonald's bathroom. We live less than a full block from the fire department.. surveillance cameras show 45 minutes elapsed between her entering the bathroom and the 911 call. At home i would have been able to get her narcan within minutes. I know that this road is pointless but it is hard to stay off it
I was sailing along on a long drive yesterday and you came to mind. Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing and let you know we are still here and wishing you well.
In short just checking in on you.
Thanks for thinking about me .kind of rough lately my arm is in a cast I broke some ligaments in my wrist. living on my own is tough when you can't do the dishes and use both hands. Tomorrow is my 50th birthday and I have never felt so alone. Carrie's birthday day is the 1st. We always enjoyed this part of the year. I have come to accept that she is gone but I miss her terribly. I have many good friends and they help me get by. Thanks again for your concern. Braden
oldtin
PowerDork
10/27/17 8:47 p.m.
Best wishes for you on your birthday. We're here for you. You're not as alone as it may feel right now.
Happy Birthday! As oldtin mentioned, we are here for you. 
