In reply to Datsun1500:

Mine is too. She is expected to keep her grades up so she can get a piece of the state lottery money and so far she is doing an exemplary job.

HiTemp went off on a 'but kids are ENTITLED' tear and completely ignored my earlier post about the 529 plan that's set up for her. That does not mean I can cover everything.

Dad has plans and has for a long time. Real life has sorta gotten in the way of Dad's plans. She's gonna have to work and possibly take out some student loans too. It's tough but there it is.

I suppose in your eyes this means I don't love my kid, huh? If that's what you and HiTemp think, then fuc both of you. You will never know what I had to give up for her, not that it's any of your fuccin business.

Curmudgeon wrote: I suppose in your eyes this means I don't love my kid, huh? If that's what you and HiTemp think, then fuc both of you. You will never know what I had to give up for her, not that it's any of your fuccin business.

(assuming this was aimed somewhat at me)
Whoa, lay off on the "get off my lawn", you old Curmudgeon! No one was sayin that.

I apologize, I get animate about it after years of classmates having a "holier than thou" attitude because they took out student loans and are paying for college all by themselves, but frankly they don't work half as hard as I do.

Datsun1500 wrote: My 17 year old is in her last year of school and has already been accepted into the University of Chicago.

Looks like our girls will be classmates. They do have baconfest at the college every year, yet another excuse for me to visit her :)

I have three kids and will try to help them as much as I can.

My parents could not afford to help me at all, other than a roof over my head. I worked two jobs in order to be able to pay for my own tuition, sometimes three. I graduated with $0 debt back in 2003 and the last semester cost me $9k for tuition only as I was paying out of state.

With that said it was very hard to find study time or even worse if there were any group assignments coordinate with the other members. After 5 years, I graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering. Looking back, I don't know how did I manage to do all that.

I know my parents would have helped me no questions asked if they could, and I will try and do the same.

J

Datsun1500 wrote:

JThw8 wrote:

Datsun1500 wrote: My 17 year old is in her last year of school and has already been accepted into the University of Chicago.

Looks like our girls will be classmates. They do have baconfest at the college every year, yet another excuse for me to visit her :)

Nice! How many times have you said "you know it going to be really cold right?" She's studying genetics, yours?

She's heard it so much that when people ask about school her answer is "I want to go to Chicago, yes I know it's cold" She loves the cold, skiing is her thing, of course there's no good skiing in Chicago. Meanwhile Arizona is offering a full ride and there is skiing closer there than Chicago, she's going to visit the campus next month so I have my fingers crossed without applying undo pressure.

She wants to be an English major beyond that I get a bit confused. She doesn't want something like English Lit ('twas the only English option at Dallas which also offered a scholarship) but she doesn't want to be a journalist. Trying to follow the 17 year old train of though I gather the practical side of her wants to be an editor and the artistic side of her would like to write.

In reply to JThw8:

The U of Chicago is one of the best schools. My son is looking at grad schools for Chemistry programs - where will he go? Whomever gives him the best package ($$$).

Your daughter can someday live in Chicago but if somebody is giving a full ride versus not.......my son just finished his undergrad in 3-1/2 years - that time FLEW and was SHORT......

My oldest chose to attend a tech school (UTI), and my youngest just graduated in December from Texas Tech so I'll chime in.

We paid attention to the boys' education in K-12, and worked with them to make sure they learned the subjects AND made good grades. Both were involved, by their own choice, in extracurricular activities and Scouting. I think that helped teach them some time management and working with priorities.

They both had Texas Tomorrow Fund money that we put up when they were small, student loans, some scholarship money based on grades and/or competition. BTW, so-called "needs" testing did not favor us, and we're far from wealthy.

We offered room and board at home (one took us up on that, one moved off for school), some help on tuition, and assorted logistical support. Yes, there were strings attached based on grades and behavior. I never had to make a decision about bailing one out of jail!

Both sons worked. The oldest worked half-days all the way through his two-year program, as encouraged by the school. The youngest had some part time jobs during most of the semesters, and worked summer internships in engineering at different companies.

Both young men graduated with honors, the oldest in auto and diesel maintenance with assorted certifications, and the youngest magna cum laude, with honors, in Mechanical Engineering.

That combination of family support, work in and out of the classroom, and reasonable loans got them through, I think, in fairly good shape for the future. It's not the only way, but it worked well enough.

Datsun310Guy wrote: In reply to JThw8: The U of Chicago is one of the best schools. My son is looking at grad schools for Chemistry programs - where will he go? Whomever gives him the best package ($$$). Your daughter can someday live in Chicago but if somebody is giving a full ride versus not.......my son just finished his undergrad in 3-1/2 years - that time FLEW and was SHORT......

Preachin' to the choir my friend. I can forgive her ruling out Dallas since they didn't offer the field of study she wanted (but damn did they offer a nice package, full tuition, $8k a year stipend plus an additional $2k for a study abroad if desired)

But she is being pushed to seriously consider AZ since they do have offerings for her. In the end it's her choice but paying for it is also her burden to bear. When I say that I will help I have only said that here, as far as she's concerned I'm not ponying up a dime. I want her to have to consider the financial ramifications of her decision and realize that sometimes in life getting what we want isn't as critical as getting what we need and avoiding a lifetime of debt. Chicago is a great school and I'm proud of her for getting accepted there, but what I see in the real world is where you went to school is rarely relevant anymore, as long as you have the paper, from somewhere, anywhere, it's your ticket through the door. But of course kids are taught just the opposite throughout school and made to believe it is the school you go to which matters and not what you put into it and get out of it.

Datsun1500 wrote:

JThw8 wrote: Meanwhile Arizona is offering a full ride and there is skiing closer there than Chicago, she's going to visit the campus next month so I have my fingers crossed without applying undo pressure.

I'm in the same boat. Rutgers is offering money and was her first choice before Chicago came along... I am taking her to Chicago the first week of Feb. hoping it will be bitter cold so I can show her it's 40 degrees in NJ...

Sadly mine has been there in the winter and it's not discouraging her. Rutgers is a great school. Heck I even tried to get mine to look at Princeton so I could have lunch with her (I work right down the road) but I don't think that was exactly a selling point.

She is burning the midnight oil on the scholarship hunt though. Did you know there is a Zombie hunter scholarship? Neither did I, but she did and she applied for it. Basically if she's not excluded from a scholarship by location or race she is applying for it.

My folks basically did "2". If they'd have done something closer to "1", I'd have finished a semester earlier, and gone back to grad school a year or two earlier.

Between frosh-soph and soph-junior years, you can either try to earn $10-15/hr at a summer job, or take two summer classes each summer and knock a semester off the end. For engineers, that's how you finish in four years - the ABET accreditation standards require about 130-140 credit hours. Same goes for college classes during high school vs. an after school job. Don't be penny-wise and pound-foolish.

Had I finished faster, and not "crashed a new Corvette into a lake without insurance" in terms of debt, it would've saved my mom some money - as I wouldn't have had to move home after graduation. I'm an engineer and got a very good job three months after graduation. It still took about two years to pay all the loans off.

This is what my wife and I came up with:

-we set up an account and have been putting $100 a month into it since our child was born.

-He can see the balance of the account any time he likes.

-When he graduates college with a 4-year degree, or completes 4-years of military service then he will get whatever is in the bank account (we estimate the total to be near $22k).

-If he does not graduate, or is dishonorably discharged, then my wife and I get to keep the money and spend it on ourselves.

(of course, if my son has exhausted all his resources and is completely beat I'll step in and lend a hand. No one wants to see their child fail and I am no exception, but I don't want to rob him of the experience either.)

As a recent graduate (class of '11)...

Biggest thing is that they need to have a plan on what they are going to do in order to find gainful employment after graduation. There is NO too early to start thinking about this.

Currently, people are kind of given the impression that degree = job. This could not be more wrong.

The first thing that is looked at in job interviews is professional experience. The biggest thing they can do for themselves is internships with companies in their field.

Its rough, but you have to look at the economics rather than the dream in a large way. Colleges are filled with people getting a degree that has very little to do with what they are going to end up doing after graduation.

Presuming you want your kid to go to college, I think these are the important points:

1: Don't put yourself into undue financial hardship for your kids.

2: Do what you can to keep your kids from putting themselves into undue financial hardship.

3: Do what you can to ensure that your child gains the most long-term value from the education and experiences of going off to college. (e.g. Discipline, Independence, preparation for career, etc.)

There are lots of ways to achieve these goals, and the specific plan can vary greatly from situation to situation.

A little of two and a lot of three.

On balance? I will probably rely on my boys to figure out funding college on their own, mostly. Scholarships will be necessary if they want more than to go to the cheapest local-ish school we can find (my wife and I funded college for ourselves this way, supplemented by loans and some family help). I have funds set up for all three of them and am kicking into them regularly, but by the time college gets here there’s no way any of them will have more than a couple semesters’ worth of tuition to work with, plus an occasional infusion of cash from the bank of mom and dad. I’ve got my retirement and student loans to pay for, and kids to feed, plus a wife who stays home right now with the youngsters. College will have to wait.

I’ll also be talking with my kids to make sure going to a traditional college is what they really want to do – I wonder if the wheels don’t fall off that model in the next 10 years, since the economy stinks and the traditional benefit (relatively automatic entry-level white-collar employability) of a college education has eluded several years’ worth of recent graduates at this point, and things don’t seem to be getting a lot better. I’ll also be having harder conversations than I got about what they are studying, why, and whether a degree in it will mean a hill of beans on getting them an actual career going. They don’t get to screw around with a BA like I got, unless they are planning on carrying that through a Ph.D. and teaching art history for a living.

In reply to Jake:

Tell them to start studying German so that they can go to a vocational school there.

Hmm. My reply was intended to the original post, meaning a little of "mom and dad will help, some" (#2) and a lot of "hey college is expensive, you better get some scholarships and/or loans if you want to do it (#3).

I'm all for vocational training, IF that is what they decide they want to do. There's not a ton of money in being a laborer, but a craftsman who eventually becomes a business owner/ entrepreneur- that's a whole other thing.

Not saying your kids need to/should go to a vocational school. Saying that other countries do certain training better and learning that language would give them the opportunity to study somewhere interesting.

Rather than learning Spanish because there are a lot of Mexicans coming to the U.S., I'm saying have them study a foreign language based on a country they would find value in going to visit: German, French, or Japanese. Even if they do academic study to get a white-collar job, the opportunities to study abroad would be better.

sporqster wrote: Mine is 4 years old, and I'm already building a 529 plan for him in hope he at least has the same sort of opportunities as his old man. I went to a small private college, on the #2 plan, and I'm still paying for my half of that at 35 years old. I hate to say I regret it, because my experience at that college made me who I am today, but in hindsight, I don't know that the value was really there. I mean, the money I and my parents spent on my undergraduate degree could have bought a decent starter home outright.

I set up an 529 plan for my son when he was less than a year old. He's 2 and a half now and has a decent chunk of change in the account thanks to his grandfather.

Curmudgeon wrote: Here in SC the lottery pays for in state tuition, so that will help a lot. There's some in a 529 and if all goes well I'll be able to put a bit more in it. She's going to have to bust her butt for scholarships and help pay her own living expenses unless she lives at home. So that puts me somewhere between 2 and 3. It's no longer realistic for Mom and Dad to foot the entire bill unless they are wealthy.

You're in for a big shock. I think the 'state' schools in SC just jacked up their tuition the exact amount any lottery awards might cover, so you still end up with a nice tuition bill. My oldest went to Duke and youngest is in final year at College of Charleston. Guess which one cost me the most? Hint-it wasn't Duke.

Push the AP classes in high school - my kid just cut off a semester and graduated early. Next stop is Grad school.

nedc wrote:

Curmudgeon wrote: Here in SC the lottery pays for in state tuition, so that will help a lot. There's some in a 529 and if all goes well I'll be able to put a bit more in it. She's going to have to bust her butt for scholarships and help pay her own living expenses unless she lives at home. So that puts me somewhere between 2 and 3. It's no longer realistic for Mom and Dad to foot the entire bill unless they are wealthy.

You're in for a big shock. I think the 'state' schools in SC just jacked up their tuition the exact amount any lottery awards might cover, so you still end up with a nice tuition bill. My oldest went to Duke and youngest is in final year at College of Charleston. Guess which one cost me the most? Hint-it wasn't Duke.

wow ..... a quick googles search shows Duke at ( depends on which web site you look at) 47k+ - 55k+ and CofC 21k( instate) and 36.8k ( out of state ) ...

nedc wrote:

Curmudgeon wrote: Here in SC the lottery pays for in state tuition, so that will help a lot. There's some in a 529 and if all goes well I'll be able to put a bit more in it. She's going to have to bust her butt for scholarships and help pay her own living expenses unless she lives at home. So that puts me somewhere between 2 and 3. It's no longer realistic for Mom and Dad to foot the entire bill unless they are wealthy.

You're in for a big shock. I think the 'state' schools in SC just jacked up their tuition the exact amount any lottery awards might cover, so you still end up with a nice tuition bill. My oldest went to Duke and youngest is in final year at College of Charleston. Guess which one cost me the most? Hint-it wasn't Duke.

Believe me, I know. It is still possible to get a full ride, but it ain't easy. That's why my kid is busting her butt to get good grades now, it will make her scholarship chances that much better.

even if you can't a "single" full ride, there are multiple scholarships out there, that can be used congruently ... plus grants

Plus (+) a lot on the AP classes. DD#1 effectively entered as a sophomore thanks to APs in high school. Freshman remedial classes suck and are a waste of time. Placing out of them is awesome.

However, most grad schools don't necessarily want to see you leaving undergrad early. They'd rather see you use the spare semester or two taking more upper level classes. DD#1 is using all 4 years, but should end up with a double major.

wbjones wrote:

nedc wrote:

Curmudgeon wrote: Here in SC the lottery pays for in state tuition, so that will help a lot. There's some in a 529 and if all goes well I'll be able to put a bit more in it. She's going to have to bust her butt for scholarships and help pay her own living expenses unless she lives at home. So that puts me somewhere between 2 and 3. It's no longer realistic for Mom and Dad to foot the entire bill unless they are wealthy.

You're in for a big shock. I think the 'state' schools in SC just jacked up their tuition the exact amount any lottery awards might cover, so you still end up with a nice tuition bill. My oldest went to Duke and youngest is in final year at College of Charleston. Guess which one cost me the most? Hint-it wasn't Duke.

wow ..... a quick googles search shows Duke at ( depends on which web site you look at) 47k+ - 55k+ and CofC 21k( instate) and 36.8k ( out of state ) ...

Yes, Duke is expensive...but they have plenty of grant/scholarship money available if you show a need for it. State schools have very little money to offer in the way of grants/scholarships, because the state's treasuries are sucking wind. I think I read somewhere that state supported schools now only receive less than 10% tuition support from the states vs. maybe 80% not too long ago (20-30 yrs).