Polish a Turd Game – L.A. Freeway Version

This coming Friday I have to make another trip over a section of LA freeway that I loathe more than the others that already suck. The reason I don’t like this section is because I have driven it so much in my life. Usually as the final leg of a 15 or 20 hour schlep from Oregon. Usually very late at night. And I especially hate it this Friday because:

a) it’s Friday

b) I was going to work on my 944 and

c) I just drove it yesterday (Sunday).

The reason I have to make this drive again is because my wife’s Benz E320 wagon decided to grenade the serp belt tensioner 240+ miles from my tools and garage. (We were in Los Olivos drinking wine for our 30th anniversary.)

What can I do to break up the 210/57/71/91/15 soul destroying grind from Ventura to Fallbrook? Wine-related not an option. I welcome both sarcastic and legitimate suggestions! Thank you for your wisdom. I cyber-bow in your general direction.

Go!

Leave at 2 AM so it's only slightly E36 M3ty traffic?

otherwise I got nothin. Anytime I go North from SD I do my best to avoid LA if at all possible. 24/7 those freeways suck.

Set out about 3 hours before sunrise with a V1 in the windscreen to see if you're faster than the sun?

More comfortable and/or imposing/ratty vehicle. Nobody berkeleys with a banged up pickup truck.

The answer is always hookers and blow.

Semi serious suggestion: Take 118 to 210 and pick up Highway 2 at La Canada. Follow out to 138 and take I15 S to I215 S past March AFB and Perris.

It'll take longer but suck way less plus it's a fantastic drive. If you hit HWY 2 around 9 am no one is on it.

15 and 215 aren't nearly as terrible as your other options.

I'm google mapping this as we ....er blog???

I'd recommend you pack up all your dishes, make note of all good wishes, say goodbye to the landlord for me--that sonofbitch always bored me. Throw out them LA papers and the moldy box of vanilla wafer; say adios to all that concrete and go and get you some dirt road backstreet.

Skip the trip, abandon the Benz.

mtn wrote: I'd recommend you pack up all your dishes, make note of all good wishes, say goodbye to the landlord for me--that sonofbitch always bored me. Throw out them LA papers and the moldy box of vanilla wafer; say adios to all that concrete and go and get you some dirt road backstreet.

Sing along with Guy Clark.

Download all six episodes of Dan Carlin's Hardcore History episodes in the Blueprint of Armageddon series. That's about 23-24 hours worth of riveting podcast that will make the time pass and you'll be able to wow your friends with your WWI knowledge. Heck, you'll be looking for traffic jams to get yourself in to so you have more time to listen!

It would take considerably longer, but you could head east on 2, and pick up highway 38, and then drop down to Fallbrook.

Take grease pencil and scrawl cross hairs on the windshield. Push buttons on the dash like you're arming weapons. Click the button on the shifter like it's a trigger. Imagine hosing tracers at slower traffic in your way. Shout things like, "TOO CLOSE FOR MISSLES! SWITCHING TO GUNS!"

759NRNG wrote: I'm google mapping this as we ....er blog???

Yeah I had a nice screen shot map/pic thing ready to augment my post but then I became entangled in the whole pic hosting kerfuffle and gave up. The route I'm complaining about is just a big, complicated loop around to the NE of downtown Los Angeles. What I really need is for Elon to burrow under LA before this Friday.

Dusterbd13 wrote: The answer is always hookers and blow.

I think we must somehow be related

In reply to mtn:

Jerry Jeff

68TR250 wrote: In reply to mtn: Jerry Jeff

Guy Clark actually

wae wrote: Download all six episodes of Dan Carlin's Hardcore History episodes in the Blueprint of Armageddon series. That's about 23-24 hours worth of riveting podcast that will make the time pass and you'll be able to wow your friends with your WWI knowledge. Heck, you'll be looking for traffic jams to get yourself in to so you have more time to listen!

So that will take care of half the time in traffic...

Podcasts are great distractions for road trips, hopefully it will work in traffic too.

mtn wrote:

68TR250 wrote: In reply to mtn: Jerry Jeff

Guy Clark actually

That's Clark singing in the link, he wrote it. Jerry Jeff recorded it too, his version was my introduction to JJW long ago, and I've been a fan ever since.

Both wonderfully talented singer/songwriters.

I did a hybrid of the hookers, blow and extreme history podcast. Except for hookers I brought my wife along for 2hrs of the drive. And for blow I used 5hr Engery Drink. I really enjoyed Dan Carlin. Very intense guy. Had I listened to him while doing real blow I think I would have gone mucho paranoid.

Brian wrote: Skip the trip, abandon the Benz.

This is the only logical answer.

I've driven in just about every major metro area in this country, and the three-way-tie for crappiest traffic is LA-DC-Honolulu, with Miami a close fourth.