Relocation?

Way off topic for the board in general, but this is the off topic section, and you guys are pretty smart in general...

How's it work when you relocate for work with kids? How much is the pain/hassle of uprooting them worth, and how do you know when/if it's the right thing to do? I'm getting kinda tired of central AL, and the wife is too. It's hotter than hell here, I have issues with the culture (such as it is, or lack thereof), and to be honest, I'm just kind of feeling ready to try out somewhere else.

For those who have done it (moved their whole family to get a better job), how did you know or come to believe it was the right thing to do?

When I was younger, we moved about every 4 years. Didn't have a say in the matter, as my father was moving up in the Company. Sure, it sucked, but there wasn't any choice.Yeah...we had opinions about having to move, but....they weren't allowed to be spoken.

Upside, we got to experience a lot of different "cultures", and I stll have friends from 30 years ago, from Michigan to Florida.

You gotta do whats best for your family, if that means relocating, then do so.

Well, I didn't have a choice. Uncle Sam said your moving to here so I did. Kids adapt although it is harder when they are older, like high school. Let's see, CA, Korea, WA, AK, VA, KY, Korea, KY. I did my last move to north AL for a job after I retired from the military. I took it because it was better than what I was doing and it was the best thing I ever did for me and the family. Easier when work moves you or at least pays for it.
You don't know if it's the right thing till you do it but I've always found it's mostly what you make of it. I've found the good in every place I've been. Although there are a few places I don't really want to go back to, I do remember the good times there and don't dwell on the not so good.

By way of getting more replies, my kids are 5 and almost 3, so they probably wouldn't miss friends so much. My wife's family, on the other hand, is all really close to here.

I lived most of my childhood in Northeastern Pa., except for 9 months when my Dad moved us to Mobile, Al. We didn't know at the time that we would be moving back, but just as in your case, we moved back to be near my mother's family.

Until your kids reach about middle school age, it won't be nearly as wrenching for them to move as it will be for your wife. But unless you are able to "get back to the old homestead fairly often", it will be a difficult move for your wife...more so than the kids.

I moved a few times growing up, and I appreciate the perspective that living in different environments gave me.

Our family has moved together several times. Most of them have been military relocations, but we've also moved for work several times since I got out. It's less fun each time, especially "little" moves, like from one city to another in the same state.

It helps to have sure footing in the place you'll be landing. Having a job and friends in the city you're moving to will be a big help. When we left Detroit for Florida, it was a crazy scramble that sucked. In the end though, you shouldn't live in a place that makes you crazy. Go have an adventure!

Tom Heath wrote: I moved a few times growing up, and I appreciate the perspective that living in different environments gave me. In the end though, you shouldn't live in a place that makes you crazy. Go have an adventure!

When I was about 4, my Dad decided he'd like to own a gas station. We lived in Cody WY at the time, and he had to go to some school somewhere that took him away from home for a couple weeks at a time. I think that was worse than the eventual move. We ended up in Billings MT, about 100 miles away from 'home', but Billings ended up being home after just a little while. Of course after a while (15 years or so) one gets 'old' and marries and moves out of the family home. That's the way of it, after all.

Now I can't stand how crazy Billings makes me (some really flaky driving and sheeple habits) , and I can't wait to get 'home' to Colstrip.

I think your kids are young enough that there won't be much if any problem after a couple weeks. The only possible problem might center around school, but even that isn't that big a deal.

Start looking for a job and move where the Spirit moves you. You'll kick yourself if you don't... My tuppence...

The move itself was a logistical pain, but that really wasn't the issue. It was some of the places we moved to. Some places were nice, with good schools and such. Some places were hell. Check where you're going before you go. There are times to abandon a job and not go where they want you to go.

Datsun1500 wrote: As someone that went through this as a kid, I can give you some insight from that side. They will not want to do it, not want to leave the area where they grew up, friends, etc. and fight you every step of the way. Within 3 months of relocation they will tell you they wanted to do it, are glad you finally did, etc. It will not hurt them as much as they/you think it will.

^I agree with this.^

When I was ~11, my father moved the whole family to Singapore, in pursuit of his work. It was never intended to be a permanent thing, so we spent around 8 months over there, during which time I was home-schooled. While adamant to stay put at first, it quickly became an extended holiday, and looking back on it, I definitely appreciate the experience.

Its much harder on the parents worrying about the kids than it is on the kids.

Don't worry. They'll take good care of you.

My folks moved us when my sister and I were 16. They were pretty fair about it and had a "family talk" on the subject to see how we would feel about it.

I think we both surprised them when we said let's get packing and get outta here.

Sometime kids crave new scenery too.

My older son spent his 3rd grade year in three different schools in 3 different states. That was too much moving, at least for us.

We moved something like 10 times in 20 years while I was in the Navy. It's not a crazy idea at all. If you can find a job and want to try out a new place - go for it. Being on the other side of the country from family has its drawbacks (and maybe some pluses depending). Do you depend on your wife's family for a lot of babysitting, day to day favors, visiting, hanging out? I would think that will be the harder part for everyone - more so than the kids schools and friends. Kids are usually tougher than we think they are.

I grew up in St. Pete, Fla until almost 13. My parents decided to move to NY because we were growing up not knowing our families, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles etc.

It was tough, moving to a new place where everyone knew who you were, you had no idea about them. The school system in NY is a lot tougher than Florida's.

In St. Pete we could take a bus downtown but other than that someone had to drive us. We moved to a town with a small main street within walking distance, great for kids.

I posed a similar question a while back, "If you didn't live where you do" or something like that. I got a lot of information about other parts of the country and some surprising results.

Dan

My Dad was in the Army and we moved every 3 to 4 years. It really was not a big deal to me or my brother, it just was and as a bonus I have seem more of the world/USA than most people.

I think that if the parents are not happy it will adversely your kids more than moving.

we moved off the farm in KY when I was 5 - to a small town, after that we moved every couple of years for a corporate thing. I've lived in Louisville, Kansas City, Atlanta, Jacksonville, St. Thomas, London, Chicago, Denver, Ft. Myers, Dallas. There was good and bad at every stop and lots to learn. It's a good sized planet and there's some cool stuff out there. Go experience some of it. My favorites were Denver and London (glad I didn't have to pay bills then). We've been in one place too long now. We're thinking of heading west again, but I'm also thinking of doing some work on my own and just shuttle between a couple of places. The good is being able to adapt to just about anywhere and trying out different culture/styles. The negative of moving every couple of years is missing out on long-term friends/really being integrated into the community you live in.

I have relocated a couple of times. younger kids it is easier than older kids.

They will adapt.

I was born, raised, and foresee staying in Metro Atlanta. Maybe it's because I've never known anything else, but I can't really conceive of uprooting myself for a job.

I'm looking at heading out to the Boston area shortly after I get married. Wegmans is heading to Northborough, Taxachusets, and new markets is the best way to grow with the company.

When my kids were 11 and 14, we moved from Ontario to Michigan in January. This meant they started school in a new country, new town, and in the middle of the school year. There was a temporary drop in their school performance, but everything was fine the next September. It truly was harder for my wife and I to adapt than it was for the boys. In October the older one is getting married to a girl he met on the school bus , so I don't think he regrets moving!

TJ wrote: Do you depend on your wife's family for a lot of babysitting, day to day favors, visiting, hanging out?

Occasionally. Not too terribly often, though (part of the problem...). The main problem that I could foresee is that we'd probably get a lot of static from the in laws about leaving them behind. They're spoiled, with all three of their grandchildren (my two plus my nephew) living within 10 minutes of their house. However, on the flip side, if we ask them to watch a kid (honestly, probably once a year), it's all "well, let me see, I have this and this and this and it's not that convenient but I guess...."

On the other hand, we'll all get together and cook burgers/ etc. and hang out pretty regular during the summer.

I don't know. We're kicking the idea around, and if the right opportunity came up, we'd probably take it.