The "Moron of the Week" Thread

For this week's nomination:  Whomever approved this for Father's Day card rack at Target: https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/2018/06/13/target-removing-baby-daddy-fathers-day-cards-after-shoppers-call-them-insult.html

Does anyone else check this thread just to make sure you're not the moron if the week?

No?

Just me then?

Okay.

Nick Comstock said:

Does anyone else check this thread just to make sure you're not the moron if the week?

No?

Just me then?

Okay.

If it saves time, I'll PM you if you make the cut.

Nick Comstock said:

Does anyone else check this thread just to make sure you're not the moron if the week?

No?

Just me then?

Okay.

I only think about doing that due to a PTSD-reflex from a local car forum I used to be on. That thread was called C*** of the Week and mostly featured forum users targeted by the ruling brigade of dudebros.

Nick Comstock said:

Does anyone else check this thread just to make sure you're not the moron if the week?

No?

Just me then?

Okay.

I thought I had a lifetime award so was ineligible for the weekly version.  

Can I play? 

I nominate this dinkus: https://whdh.com/news/police-man-with-revoked-license-crashes-brothers-ferrari-in-weymouth/

A 50 year old with a suspended license tried to play real-life Outrun with his brother's Ferrari... and failed miserably by smacking a Corolla and wedging it under a Hyundai Santa Fe. If you know the South Shore of Boston, this is "Peak Weymouth" behavior. 

I still can't believe this didn't happen in EbonyAndIvory's yard a few towns away! 

Adrian_Thompson said:

Nick Comstock said:

Does anyone else check this thread just to make sure you're not the moron if the week?

No?

Just me then?

Okay.

I thought I had a lifetime award so was ineligible for the weekly version.  

I don't have to look. I know the truth every morning. 

kazoospec said:

This week, I nominate: Myself.

Had the following conversation with a fellow driver at this weekend's autocross:

I'm running start. He pulls up, grinning from ear to ear.

Him: "Just kicked out my passenger and was 2 seconds faster on the last run."

Me: "Good Lord, who was your passenger, Fat Albert?"

Him: "No, my wife."

Me: "Oh"

I'm a past winner myself. 

Shotgun!!! Quite literally.

I prosecuted drunk driving cases for about 7 or 8 years, so I thought I'd heard every dumb excuse there was.  I was wrong.

I wasn't drinking and driving . . . I only drank at the stoplights.

BTW - my favorite personal experience was the dude doing field sobriety tests while dressed as a Roman soldier, armored skirt and all.  Don't drive drunk on any night, but especially not Halloween.  The MVR was a hoot.  If the defense attorney had been a friend, I would have tried to see how many references to famous Romans I could work into the trial, but sadly, he was sort of a prick, so it wasn't as fun as it could have been. 

EDIT:  And, yes, long time no updates, primarily because I'm abiding by the "no politicians" rule. 

Some American decided to make contact with the uncontacted Sentinelese people for the purpose of converting them to Christianity (which can only add to the enormity of my facepalm). Contacting the Sentinelese is not just super-illegal but a stupendously terrible idea for a laundry list of reasons, one of which is that what little is known about them is that they react to outsiders with instant and unrelenting hostility on sight. Guess what happened.

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/11/21/asia/andaman-nicobar-us-missionary-killed-intl/index.html

In reply to GameboyRMH :

Sympathy level 

After a 5 month break, bringing this thread back for "unknown dude" for FIGHTING THE EASTER BUNNY.  There are only two possible outcomes:  1. you kick the Easter Bunny's butt, in which case, do you really get bragging rights? OR  2. like this guy, you get completely whooped by the Easter Bunny, in which case, you can never really show your face again. 

News report: bunny beat down

Still photo from the video, just in case you don't believe me (Video may be NSFW): 

In reply to kazoospec :

I knew before clicking on the link that it would be Florida. It's always Florida. And no, I didn't notice the license plate either (until now).

https://canoe.com/news/crime/naked-air-drying-women-lead-police-on-wild-chase-in-florida

I was at work when this happened. There is always one screen dedicated to news on the huge video wall. I watched this play out in (near) real time.

Edit: I just noticed the domain name. That was totally unintentional. It was literally the first search result I found.

Well, the circle is complete, the bunny has been identified.  I'm pretty sure the writer of this article put in "Florida Man" just to be sure it gets hits for the "Florida Man Challenge".  If you were born on 4/22, you're now golden for the "Florida Man Challenge".

Easter Bunny ID'd

In reply to stanger_missle :

Not questioning the resisting arrest part etc.  But in this day and age is it still indecent exposure to be naked on a beach?  I know there's a guy in the UK who has gone around nude for decades and has been arrested multiple times.  In the end I think he ended up at the international court of human rights to protect his right to be nude and won.

Edit.  Nope I was wrong, he when to court and lost, he's spent lot's of time in prison.  Below from Wiki:

On 28 October 2014, the European Court of Human Rights ruled that European laws protecting privacy and freedom of expression did not apply to Gough's naked rambling

In reply to Adrian_Thompson :

The key thing I want to know about that story is whether or not he was naked in prison?

At least it's not Florida this time: Taco Bell as a law enforcement tool?

We've probably all wanted to, but actually doing it, yep, moron material:

There, but for the grace of God, go I . . .

Well, it isn't Florida this time: Indiana man shocked his crappy 2002 Acura can't outrun Hemi equipped cop cars

^Actually he was surprised he couldn't outrun the V6 cars, which is still pretty questionable, far from the overwhelming speed advantage you'd need to outrun the cops (before they can make use of their radios and helicopters). But then it took a sequence of dumb decisions to lead to lead to this one, and then he decided to start a high-speed chase over a suspended license.

Someone by me ran from the cops just a day or two ago because he was wanted and came up to a police checkpoint, he thought he'd lose the cops in the oncoming highway lanes and caused a 4-car pileup.

When I think of people who tried to outrun the cops and failed, I usually recall that one C4 Vette that spun out and hit a tractor-trailer. The speed was there, the car control was not.

slowbird said:

When I think of people who tried to outrun the cops and failed, I usually recall that one C4 Vette that spun out and hit a tractor-trailer. The speed was there, the car control was not.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Nyou_eKlr0U?rel=0

 

That was Not 165mph. 

That makes me think... I sometimes enjoy watching car chase videos and the like, is there a good source for this madness?  

Also, here’s my nomination 

https://youtu.be/g6WjGsdTD9c

In reply to Carbon :

Now that you mention it...yeah. The cops were staying right with him, and he only caught the trucks at a somewhat ordinary closing rate. Those trucks were slowing down, actually.

Not that I'm surprised a TV show would exaggerate things.