Things unsaid.

So, as you may or may not know, the past few months have been a bit of a struggle for me. Between terrible things happening to people I know, and my generally bad situation, my mental illnesses have gotten the best of me (Aspergers, manic depression, panic attacks). My meds aren't really doing anything for me anymore, and it feels like every day just wears me down. Hopefully the vehicle I'm going to look at in two weeks will help. By the way, if there are any members in the area who would be up for coffee, or a good wrench session (your car, my pizza), let me know. Some actual contact with the outside world would be nice. Thank you for being here for me. It means a lot.

Hang in there man!
Sounds like you've got quite a bit going on right now.

One thing that may help in both the short and long term, is working out if you're not doing so already - got a gym in town you can go to? You can burn off some energy, develop some short term goals whether it's in lifting, running, indoor soccer, racquetball or whatever looks fun, and meet some new people outside of the normal circle you see at school.

G_Body_Man wrote: So, as you may or may not know, the past few months have been a bit of a struggle for me. Between terrible things happening to people I know, and my generally bad situation, my mental illnesses have gotten the best of me (Aspergers, manic depression, panic attacks). My meds aren't really doing anything for me anymore, and it feels like every day just wears me down. Hopefully the vehicle I'm going to look at in two weeks will help. By the way, if there are any members in the area who would be up for coffee, or a good wrench session (your car, my pizza), let me know. Some actual contact with the outside world would be nice. Thank you for being here for me. It means a lot.

You need to haul your ass to London for a visit. More of a beer person my self, but pizza can be delivered to the shop when need be!

In reply to NOHOME:

I really do. I have distant relatives in London, so I might actually have to pay a visit this summer.

Im sure there are a few Seattle people who would be more than willing. Its not a real short haul tho....

I dont know much about your history, but are you someone who just needs a project (car or anything else) that keeps your focus for awhile?

I know i bounce around things i obsess over for a few weeks to months at a time, its good to have something to keep your mind entertained and interested in.

So what groups are you in, and are you still going?

it's 4 hours away, but if you want to take some time off in February or March I have a nice place in Mount Vernon, WA on a small lake. Great place to chill. If you're interested let me know your schedule and I'll take some time off. (no real great projects up there or anything though, just a nice cabin in the woods)

Foxtrapper brings up a good point about groups and pro-level support.

Another thing I thought of since you do very well with writing - my daughter is doing a creative writing group at school. It becomes a competitive thing next year (7th grade). Not sure if it's a HS level thing or if you'd be interested. Just trying to think of other options to help keep the mind and body busy and engaged over the winter.

Sorry for your troubles G_Bod, I can't speak to meds or mental illness as I have no experience or training; but as others have said physical training helps.

I would suggest some goal oriented training like martial arts. Stumbling around a gym clonking yourself in the head with metal weights can be frustrating, in something like Aikido you engage your body and your mind. Physical difficulty and degree of concentration increases as your body gains balance and strength. Smaller groups than a Tai Kwon Do belt factory with more one on one training.

Please keep us posted and don't lose hope.

Dan

G_Body_Man wrote: In reply to NOHOME: I really do. I have distant relatives in London, so I might actually have to pay a visit this summer.

Forgot, you moved out west. Bit longer travel.

914Driver wrote: Sorry for your troubles G_Bod, I can't speak to meds or mental illness as I have no experience or training; but as others have said physical training helps. I would suggest some goal oriented training like martial arts. Stumbling around a gym clonking yourself in the head with metal weights can be frustrating, in something like Aikido you engage your body and your mind. Physical difficulty and degree of concentration increases as your body gains balance and strength. Smaller groups than a Tai Kwon Do belt factory with more one on one training. Please keep us posted and don't lose hope. Dan

I have to agree, another consideration, although a hair on the pricier side, is Rock Climbing.

Dont feel like its just you, I have been going nuts living in an apartment where I cant work on anything. I also dont have much time for exercise, but am working on making the time.

Sorry to hear you're struggling man. Try doing yoga, I tried a bunch of avenues, for me it was the miata.

Thanks for the support, guys. I am hatching some big plans this summer to give me hope for the future.

Hey G!

I tried to respond to this about 24 hours ago, but with the forums acting goofy, the post didn't quite make it, so I'm going to try to remember whatever it was I was trying to say.

I'm certainly not local to you, otherwise I'd invite you over to tear down my Kawasaki's carb with me, but I feel like I can offer some words of wisdom.

First off, the drugs you are on are none of my business. I know from experience that with mental and/or neuro health, there are many drugs to chose from. Sometimes doctors are good at trying different options, but sometimes they aren't. I find that doctors that are willing to try different options regardless of how long the drug has been on the market, are more effective with finding success in more patients. Remember that the doctor works for you. You get to tell the doctor that you want to try other options. Do your research and know the possible effects of the drugs.

Second, even though GRM is a great place to come to for any problem, you may want to bring this to a new forum. Myself dealing with epilepsy, and my wife dealing with bi-polar disorder take those problems to people who can understand them and offer an experienced ear. Then they can bring their suggestions to us. I'm not saying not to bring these problems up here, but there may be other places to bring up the problems. Trust me. Listening to others who deal with much worse problems than me really opened my eyes to how good I have it.

I wish you all the luck I can. We are here for you even though we may never be able to stand in your shoes. You can always feel free to PM me if you don't feel up to a public display.

In reply to N Sperlo:

Thanks. I guess what I'm searching for is someone who understands me. BTW, I'll be in St. Louis this summer, when I take a C1500 across the continent and back. I'll PM you when everything's finalized.

I've gone through some similar experiences; times when I used to say "berkeley it, why bother" about everything. Oddly enough, that's when I did my best writing. Which, in retrospect, did not help.

As was mentioned before, martial arts and boxing helped. I've pretty much always been a weight lifter but I just couldn't derive any catharsis from it without delving into self destruction. Obviously that's not a sustainable practice.

MMA really helped.

Regarding your cross-continental trip, don't just p.m. people about it, start a thread! I'm sure lots of people would like to ride along, I know I would.

G_Body_Man wrote: Thanks for the support, guys. I am hatching some big plans this summer to give me hope for the future.

What are you doing today, to better your life right now?

I have been a crusty SOB at times but I never want to see someone hurting from what you have described. And if it helps I can get mad at you again and we can get in to a heated debate about something. At least it will get your mind off things.

Seriously I hope things get better. As others have said excesize or some other form of distraction (like a new car) can be very helpfull.

Any RC car racing in your area? It's just small scale tinkering. Easy to do on a kitchen table, it will provide focus when you want to be alone and another set of local enthusiasts to hang out with when you want to be social.

In reply to glueguy:

Already got a Duratrax Evader. It's constantly broken.

G_Body_Man wrote: In reply to glueguy: Already got a Duratrax Evader. It's constantly broken.

Unfortunately it seems to be the case with an evader.

I picked up a Tower Hobbies SCT truck lately. It seems to be a GREAT value so far. Under $300 ($254 in my case with shipping, they run specials all the time) with a battery and charger. All I have done to it is 125k wt in the center diff and 40 wt in the shocks.

My wife doesn't even complain too much when I wrench on it in the house or park it in the living room, unlike my other car projects

I don't have much to say with regards to help or advice, I just wanted to chime in that there are very few people under the age of 25 involved in the hobby of motorsports and automobiles with a thirst for knowledge, to learn know how, and to build and restore on their own. Most would rather buy something, or ask friends with similar or less experience than themselves where to spent their money. You (and Tom) are beacons of hope for the spirit and future of the hobby. The hobby is frustrating much of the time, finances, the ability to find a rust free chassis, and other hiccups can delay or sideline projects. Heck I haven't physically been able to turn a wrench for nearly 2 years now. Keep your head up, find the assistance and support that you need to manage and don't get discouraged about anything involving the hobby. If you ever need an ear don't hesitate to message me.

You know when you feel like complete E36 M3, and how nothing can fix the irreparable rift inside of you? It happened tonight.

Part of the problem is time. Time is one thing I don’t have. In a year and a half, I graduate high school. My dad thinks that I won’t be able to make it in college. And somewhere, deep down inside, there’s a nagging voice telling me that he’s right. I’m a constant berkeley-up. I can’t even contain myself, how am I supposed to hold a job? Become independent? Maybe eventually. But right now, I’m a sack of flesh grounded to my parents. My dad expects me to become independent. He’ll be 55 this year, and just doesn’t have the money to keep me in the house much longer. I won’t even talk about my brother At this point, I don’t know what my purpose is or what I’m feeling. I don’t know what to do. I’m losing sleep and sanity. There aren’t that many options left for me. College is a dead-end, and I don’t really have much of a future. I don’t know how I’ll survive when everything is gone.

G_Body_Man wrote: You know when you feel like complete E36 M3, and how nothing can fix the irreparable rift inside of you? It happened tonight. Part of the problem is time. Time is one thing I don’t have. In a year and a half, I graduate high school. My dad thinks that I won’t be able to make it in college. And somewhere, deep down inside, there’s a nagging voice telling me that he’s right. I’m a constant berkeley-up. I can’t even contain myself, how am I supposed to hold a job? Become independent? Maybe eventually. But right now, I’m a sack of flesh grounded to my parents. My dad expects me to become independent. He’ll be 55 this year, and just doesn’t have the money to keep me in the house much longer. I won’t even talk about my brother At this point, I don’t know what my purpose is or what I’m feeling. I don’t know what to do. I’m losing sleep and sanity. There aren’t that many options left for me. College is a dead-end, and I don’t really have much of a future. I don’t know how I’ll survive when everything is gone.

Go to a tech school or get a simple two year degree at a local college. Get it out of the way and go find a job. I spent 8 years barely getting by to finally just recently getting a good job with good enough benefits to actually have a family. Sometimes It takes time. I'm nearly twice your age and just finally getting things in line to move on with my life. You'll find your spot even if you end up working at a pharmacy shipping drugs, serving legal papers, and bounty hunting. You know. Some E36 M3 just ends up that way apparently.