Anyone who uses the term SWMBO makes me judge them. Sorry. I know. But I'm a judgmental prick and I'm cool with that. I do what I want.
for the longest time I didn't know what that term meant - after I did it just seemed so sad & pathetic that it's a common "thing" here.
I now read SWMBO as SWCMB.
Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: Just go buy a damn car. I know there are lots of guys here who like to defend having to be the one to make all the compromises in the name of some sort of "woman on a pedestal" upbringing or whatever it is that makes them grovel like children to do the things they enjoy ... so I'll be the other guy. Anyone who uses the term SWMBO makes me judge them. Sorry. I know. But I'm a judgmental prick and I'm cool with that. I do what I want. The mrs does whatever she wants. We only check each other up if the consequences are too much (me blowing the retirement on a helicopter and lessons falls into this category ;)) We share the things we have in common and get out of the way for the ones we don't. Selfish? Maybe. I'm married 20 years this year. I wouldn't ever stay in a relationship that stood in my way. I wouldn't expect someone else to let me stand in theirs. Life is too short and the todo list is too long as it is. Just go buy a damn car.
This. I'm an idiot when it comes to relationships. It took me 3 times down the isle...3 berkeleying times to realize that what GPS says is the truth. I do what I want (within reason), she does what she wants (she makes more dough than I so she's got more leeway) and we don't tell each other what to do (that was in our vows). You've got to be who you are. I love my wife the way she is, she needs to love me the same or it's not going to work. I've got two ex wives to prove I'm right.
I do not think this will end well for your wife...
...you're gonna be mad-maxing her vacuum cleaner.
I think we are all looking at this wrong...
We think it was a dumbass deal, completely stupid, and that he should just buy a car and get on with it.
But let's look at the other side for a minute.
What if he WERE to make it 5 years? There would be NO END to the opportunities it could create. He'd have bragging rights forever, whatever car he wanted, unlimited intimate favors, heck, he could ask for just about ANYTHING, and she'd have no way she could turn him down.
Consider the possibilities! 
In reply to SVreX:
I doubt that would be the case. It'll be "you went 5 years without a car, what's another 5? You clearly don't NEED one."
This scenario sets my teeth on edge.
SVreX wrote: I think we are all looking at this wrong... We think it was a dumbass deal, completely stupid, and that he should just buy a car and get on with it. But let's look at the other side for a minute. What if he WERE to make it 5 years? There would be NO END to the opportunities it could create. He'd have bragging rights forever, whatever car he wanted, unlimited intimate favors, heck, he could ask for just about ANYTHING, and she'd have no way she could turn him down. Consider the possibilities!
I know of exactly zero women your logic would work on.
true.. but if he gets himself killed or maimed on the bike from riding in the wrong conditions...
Face it, it is not the deal that is rotten, it is the fact that you cannot control yourself from "playing" with your daily (wow does that sound wrong.
The best agreement you could have made with your wife was that you would do nothing more than basic maintenance to your DD for five years. Now you have to live with it.. or live with the consequences
Junkyard_Dog wrote: I know of exactly zero women your logic would work on.
I know, but a feller can wish, can't he??
Here's a logic you will recognize...
Fail, and never hear the end of it.
It's still a win for succeeding.
I said this in another thread, but I'll say it again: Marriage is a team sport.
It seems very odd that the person who's supposed to help make your life as happy as it can be is purposely denying you something that makes you happy. I could see giving up cars for something, but other than being obeyed, I don't see what she gets out of it.
I quit autocrossing when the second Deuceling was born because the time I was taking for myself was the only time my wife had to really rest after a full week of work. I lost something, but she gained something that was really significant to her at the time. When the kids were bigger and the job was different I asked her about starting again. Not if I could start, I was always going to start, but if she agreed that it was a good time. It was, and I did and everyone is happy.
I have more happiness being married to my wife than I would alone, and she's the same.
fasted58 wrote:Nick_Comstock wrote:Ohhh... he'll change!oldtin wrote: What's at the end of holding out for five years?I think she was hoping that I would have some kind of transformation or some type of epiphany or something.
The fundamental issue here:
A woman marries a man thinking he will change, and he doesn't.
A man marries a woman thinking she won't change, and she does.
Good luck, son...
mazdeuce wrote: It seems very odd that the person who's supposed to help make your life as happy as it can be is purposely denying you something that makes you happy. I could see giving up cars for something, but other than being obeyed, I don't see what she gets out of it.
QFT.
This is a much more eloquent way to state the point I was trying to make. It goes both ways. Why is anyone in any partnership trying to control the other person? When it works it leads to misery and resentment. When it fails it leads to bitterness and hatred or some other E36 M3 those half-assed psychs on TV bank on.
Buy the car or ride in the sleet. Either way... do what you want.
But don't be a fag about it.
In reply to Giant Purple Snorklewacker:
Nobody is trying to control anyone. We set down like adults and came to this arrangement. There were no ultimatums or lines in the sand. I agreed to it because I felt that a break from the madness was likely the best thing at the time. If I went out tomorrow and bought a car there would be no dire consequences. She would understand.
However, the problem is I like to live up to the deals that I make. I'm struggling with using this as an excuse to get a new toy.
mad_machine wrote: true.. but if he gets himself killed or maimed on the bike from riding in the wrong conditions... Face it, it is not the deal that is rotten, it is the fact that you cannot control yourself from "playing" with your daily (wow does that sound wrong. The best agreement you could have made with your wife was that you would do nothing more than basic maintenance to your DD for five years. Now you have to live with it.. or live with the consequences
The problem with that is a brake job turns into, Oh, this lower control arm is a little rusty I'll just pop that off and clean it up and give it a new coat of paint. Ya know, those bushings look pretty worn, while I have it off might as well upgrade those to urethane. This thing could really use some chassis bracing, while I'm in there may as well add a couple pieces to that. That exhaust looks mighty restrictive and on and on. It never ends and it doesn't matter what car I have either. I've bought cars strictly for commuting before, told myself I would never mess with it, just drive it. It's impossible. The bike is the only thing I have really been successful with not futzing with constantly. And I've still managed to add the fairing, rear shocks, build a sissy bar/luggage rack, add air fittings to adjust the preload of the front forks and I'm thinking about changing the seat out.
For the record, this forum is fueling your passion, killing you is all on the missus.
Oh, we've been married 11 years and have been together for 15...er...I think. She knew long before we married how I am. She's not trying to change me, I'm pretty stubborn so it's not likely to happen anyway.
I don't really know what the point of me posting this was. Just rambling thoughts that have been going through my head I guess.
So, similar condition and price, which would you choose. A 1993 2 door, 2wd S10 blazer with a 4.3 and a 5spd or an 1996 2 door, 2wd XJ sport with a 4.0 and a 5spd?
I am no help. I got a new wife.
16 years ago. Worked out ok.
In reply to Nick_Comstock:
Jeep, all day long.
Nick_Comstock wrote: She's not trying to change me.
Denial is not a river in Egypt.
She's changing you RIGHT NOW.
Put me in the camp with Jeff and GPS. My wife and I both have the same mentality. As long as the mortgage gets paid, the lights are on and there's food in the fridge, do whatever you want with your own money.
Lately I find myself being less and less of a gear head, and it's not wife induced. She wants to lift, turbo and hoon the piss out of her Outback, she gets the obsession.
I'm the one who intentionally bought an appliance that shouldn't need lots of wrenching and am selling my "nice" car that is a bit more high maintenance. I just don't seem to have the time or patience to get deep into a project car anymore. It's still fun to research and plan but that's about as far as I get these days.
Having said that, I'd pick the Jeep. 
Buy a Saturn sedan in automatic.
Tell yourself how dumb it would be to modify it.
Don't do anything to it that isn't necessary.
That seems kinda simple to me. I'm going on two years with a ZX2 that still has the stock radio.
When I quit autocross I let my subscription to GRM lapse and I stopped visiting the forums. It helped with the pain.
Trans_Maro wrote:Nick_Comstock wrote: She's not trying to change me.Denial is not a river in Egypt. She's changing you RIGHT NOW. Put me in the camp with Jeff and GPS. My wife and I both have the same mentality. As long as the mortgage gets paid, the lights are on and there's food in the fridge, do whatever you want with your own money.
just my 2¢ here, but I would add to that … making sure I'm putting aside enough money for retirement … it actually creeps up quicker than you think … when I was 30 I couldn't imagine being retired …glad I started putting money away then anyway
I 100% against GPS and the others who are saying do what you want, get a car and screw your other half etc. in general. But this is very very different. You don't have a car, any car at all, and are reliant on rides or a motorbike in snow and ice. That's just flat out irresponsible and a potential death sentence, or worse, bankruptcy if you fall or get hit and end up with several hundred thousand $$'s in medical bills. Get her to pick a car, agree that it's not a project and doesn't count against the 5 year plan. But expecting you to make do without transportation is plain and simple crazy. Hell, buy a Toyota if you have to, just to prove it's the ultimate non car guy purchase!
^Yep^
Maybe a Prius
So if it's about willpower, Lease a new car. Not yours to modify, and won't really need maintenance. 3 year lease gets you to your 5-year deal. Bike lets you keep the mileage down. Again if it's a willpower thing neither of your choices will allow you to succeed at laying off the tinkering. Or admit you can't do it and go get something interesting
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