Ttime to take a break - when it isn't fun on the forums anymore

In reply to tuna55:

Well, that was a looong time ago.

I read the OP when it first went up … and thought … oh well, someone has let the internet get them down … one of two things will happen… either he'll get over it and come back, or he won't

I see, occasionally, some real shiny happy people on here, usually one or two that I know from other forums .. they haven't changed much … (though there are a few that are just on here) and occasionally I'll let them get to me a little bit … then I step back and remind myself …this is the internet … I really shouldn't let this bother me … shoot, I might even like them if we were doing this in person

if not ??? who cares, I can, and do just ignore them on whatever subject it was that was getting out of hand

if they're "bad" enough I just ignore they're posts … pretty easy

as a lower level mod, I do check in on, and occasionally post on the threads that I know have the chance of going sideways … if for no other reason to keep an eye on them, in case they get too out of hand

as to the grammar and spelling bit ? my spell check is pretty intense … when I can't get close enough for it to give me the correct spelling, I open a new tap, go to google, and can usually find a heading that will get me to the correct spelling

grammar is a different story … it's not really taught in schools anymore, and hopefully none of the abusers will never be in a situation where they have to use proper english … the dumbing down of our younger generation(s) (in some areas) seems like it will backfire somewhere down the road … but for the most part I just cringe and go on ( I do realize that many on here are posting from mobile devices .. and that adds to the problem)

my personal opinion is that we treat noobs pretty well … I frequent another forum that can be pretty brutal

the last observation I have (for the moment) is that way too many on here (and worse other places) tend to forget that tone of voice and intent really can't be expressed from a keyboard …

the global warming thread is a great example … what I saw as it started, was someone poking fun and using the phrase "global warming" to whine about the cold weather .. shrug … then it started to go a bit sideways … my opinion is we need to remember that not every thread is asking for an argument … and many of the posts to that thread were done in the "tongue in cheek" manner … but were taken seriously …

the phrase "lighten up francis" comes to mind more often than not when reading many of these different threads … even if I don't post it

the easiest thing is to just ignore and not read (and especially not post) when a thread is getting to you

I on a few occasions have felt the sting of being a newbie on this forum. not understanding the comical way others comment on your posts as a inside joke for those in the know. There was a time when I deleted all my posts, felt unwanted, shunned and stayed off for over a year but still had the passion for things with motors and was drawn back in and just read and studied who would say what, after doing so I convinced myself that 99% of it was all in good fun and when a sincere request for help or a question was posed some very valuable information could be garnered.

So I jumped back in with a post expressing some of my feelings, putting them out there. And surprisingly I was greeted with comments that made me feel welcome and comfortable. I try to stay away from controversial topics or infighting between the hierarchy because the value of the information available is invaluable and sometime makes me laugh out loud which is tough for me.

I have also read posts by members who were sharing some very personnel issues (some that I can really relate to)and I have gained insight, others share many of the same problems, that I thought were exclusive to me. I have read posts even up to yesterday were members have expressed real heartfelt concern for people they have never met.

I have had members (GPS) offer advice on some my projects that saved me a lot of time, money, grief and busted knuckle's. There is so much to be gained from (like people) but you will always have one or two guys that want to stir E36 M3 up.

If not for encouragement from total strangers on this board there is no way I would have attempted my current project, something I though myself totally incapable of completing, but just because a couple of guys say, "yes you can build that, if you have questions hit me up".

So enjoy a break, you will ease back in when it is right for you. There is much more positive give and take here there is no way I could see you staying gone long. And if anybody ever questions the quality of folks he just post something like "My dog died today" the comments would get you through it or "my son and I are broke down out here on hwy ## and need help) you will have folks say I am the way what tools will we need). I know this for a fact.

so … really my last though on people getting butthurt about something someone posts on here ..??..

lighten the berkeley up … ignore it … your blood pressure will thank you

tuna55 wrote: Hope your break is short! Open arms await your return! Wait, I mean "DO SURCH NOOB!"

Hmm... Maybe there's a benefit to the forums not really having an effective search function.

My 2 cents which are worth slightly less than that I'm sure. I've been on these forums since the dark ages. They've always been one of the best out there for reasonable discussions and openness to ideas.

But the OP is not incorrect that there has been a change in tone. It's subtle, and its been happening slowly for a couple of years but it's happening. Comparing what happens here to what happens in other places is no better than someone making a racist joke and following it up with "but I dont burn crosses like the KKK" Sure we aren't AS bad as other forums, but shouldn't we strive to just not be bad?

Some may have noticed a decrease in my participation here. It's certainly not because I don't love my GRM family, but as I get older I find myself rather intolerant of certain types of people, I've found it much better to step away from them rather than stir the pot so that's what I do. I'll admit sometimes I like a good argument for the sake of argument, I'll take a side I don't believe in just to make the other side work harder :) You can do that among friends, but we often forget that while some of us have "known" each other for many years and understand these quirks and the good naturedness of it all, that if you are new here and don't have context then sometimes it does seem off-putting.

GRM forums are a great place, still one of the best on the internet, but that can change and if we turn a blind eye to it then it will change.

Now you may all GFY.

I've only been around for 10 years or so but I too have noticed a shift in the tone... and I have also backed away a bit.

I will still stick my head in the door from time to time to say 'hi', so don't get your hopes up.

If we all berkeley ourselves at the same time would that be considered an orgy?

Would we all have some sort of interwebz carnal knowledge of each other?

For every one of my idiotic posts there are at least three that I have typed then stared at for a while and erased. Sometimes it's just too much of a non sequitur.

The_Jed wrote: If we all berkeley ourselves at the same time would that be considered an orgy? Would we all have some sort of interwebz carnal knowledge of each other? For every one of my idiotic posts there are at least three that I have typed then stared at for a while and erased. Sometimes it's just too much of a non sequitur.

Call Guinness, maybe we could get in the book for largest online orgy or something ;)

The_Jed wrote: If we all berkeley ourselves at the same time would that be considered an orgy? Would we all have some sort of interwebz carnal knowledge of each other? For every one of my idiotic posts there are at least three that I have typed then stared at for a while and erased. Sometimes it's just too much of a non sequitur.

Dude, every once in a while you post something like this

And all is forgiven

Although now I read more folks saying the sameish thing as the OP and I hope that I haven't contributed to the issue. Despite having odd and strong opinions, I try not to be an ass about it.

I'll try to be more supportive.

I would go berkeley myself but even I have standards.

EDIT I am actually on here less but not because of the people or environment... I am just doing other things with my time. I pop in for the lulz, to answer an actual question or snag some advice every now and again. I have no time for pointless arguments where no one ever changes a viewpoint 'cause I'm mostly trying to plan a solo cross-country motorcycle ride (TAT) for next spring and it's causing obsessive searches elsewhere.

Let's eat, Grandma!

Let's eat Grandma!

Punctuation kills.

In reply to tuna55:

Besides not appreciating Ken Block's hoonage I've never had a problem with you.

Sheesh, it's heavy in here. How about a little comic relief? Definitely NSFW.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSrzwB1DVFs

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: I would go berkeley myself but even I have standards.

I love that! lol

SVreX wrote: Punctuation kills.

Depending on how you interpret "eat grandma" it could just be incest.

I said on page one I think this forum is very open and tolerant. The issue I see aren't around new members. A couple of points:

Spelling and Grammar. I suck, I'm dyslexic, I spell check everything I post from a desk top or lap top, but it's much harder on a mobile device. Grammar, I do the best I can. Gross issues such as they, their or they're should be called out IMHO.

Round here new members have a great excuses for not having searched. The search function here is of slightly less effectiveness than a chocolate teaspoon in a cup of hot Earl Gray. I don’t mind when we have the 10,000th thread on Miata’s, something new tends to come up each time. Referring back to Corner Carvers again. They are so borking militant about searching and not starting a new thread if a subject has been discussed before you end up with threads that are thousands and thousands of pages long, and if you don’t have Doctoral level research to back you up don’t you dare make a point especially if your politics are liberal or you will be derided for not having a clue.

Politics. This is the biggest issue on GRM. If we could just keep away from religion, politics, abortion and guns I think everything would be fine around here. I try and stay out of obvious political threads, although the little red devil on my shoulder does prod me from time to time. I haven't even clicked on the global warming thread, but sometimes politics can pop up in a completely unrelated thread and de-rail it. Easy answer, ban Republicans from posting (Joke OK?)

ddavidv wrote: Best thing about this family? No matter how stupid your car choice, someone will think it's cool and engage you in conversation about it.

That's my favorite part about this place, brandwhores get served. The greater of a misfit car taken on as a project the greater the level of respect that is often found. This board embraces the more then one way to skin a cat mentality. Between that and the cheap used parts from others previous projects that fall out of the sky as previously unlisted when you announce a new purchase of project, it makes for a pleasant place to spend time. I've spent time on other boards over the past 15+ years, eventually most, mainly to focusing primarily on one discipline of motorsport or one brand of car, grow old to me. The only other group that I'll name that I'm no longer active with, is due to a positive, the people at VWVortex and The Car Lounge likely saved my life on more then one occasion. 9/11 had a direct impact on my family, then in 2002 I can out of remission and I did not want to deal with the battle anymore. I was exhausted, tired and did not want to fight. I felt entitled to make the choice not to do so. 4 members on there were arrogant and ignorant enough to not give a flying berkeley about what I wanted and how I felt, and they rotated driving me, someone who was practically a stranger to them at the time, to radiation and chemo treatments. we would talk cars as a distraction on the way back or during chemo. On more then one occasion I threw up in a members MKIV GLI. I felt embarrassed, felt terrible and thought that they certainly would no longer take part in what they as a group had been doing for me. But he continued one. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for those guys and that community.

For better or for worse, often times for worse, people speak loudly, more openly and with less of a filter online in forum settings then they do in real life. Most of the time it results in treats, trolling, or slams against other members. Other times it's the opening of the heart about the expression of pain or feelings that they aren't willing to share to those closest to them as they don't want to burden those who they love most with that pain.

In reply to Adrian_Thompson:

For me, a little punctuation makes a huge difference. Everyone mispells. Not everyone is a native American speaker (you, for instance, likely learned true English.)and that is understandable. But when you put zero effort into making your point understandable to others, I see no point in putting effort into helping you figure out whatever it is you're wanting.

Make the effort. It shows. When the only way we have to communicate is through written (ok, typed) language, you got to at least try!

1988RedT2 wrote: Sheesh, it's heavy in here. How about a little comic relief? Definitely NSFW. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSrzwB1DVFs

Nice! A Harley bashing flounder link. That should set this thread up for some extra page count!

There has been a little change in tone over the years I have been on here but it is still a friendly place (one of the friendliest forums I am on).

I have been posting on here less though just cause of another hobby taking up time.

I have enabled the forum's preview option, and I read most of my posts before I post them.

Not because I give a crap what the grammar Nazis think.

Because I would like to communicate reasonably well, and sometimes when I re-read it, I realize it just doesn't sound like whatever the heck was in my head. OR, my (blankety-blank) spell check on my mobile phone has decided it is time for it to express its opinion and indwell my writing like a poltergeist.

It takes a moment, but I feel better about what I post. Still miss the mark sometimes, but at least I try.

tuna55 wrote:

Nick_Comstock wrote: and the picture was a LMP1 Audi with a big V8 sticking out of the back of it and I believe a picture of Tuna55 at the wheel.

Was not going to reply until I saw my name. Wasn't me. Wish it was! This place rocks. We have our little spitting matches occasionally via political threads, but we're all good buds and 90% of us would gladly by anyone else here a beer in real life while laughing off the fact that we can't agree on who Charlie married or whatever. Hope your break is short! Open arms await your return! Wait, I mean "DO SURCH NOOB!"

I think that was Bill Cuttita, IRC.

I don't usually have much to offer. But this place serves my truly scatterbrained automotive interests like nowhere else, so I keep coming back.

This forum has made me a far better critical thinker, given me thicker skin, and made me much better at thinking before writing/saying something.