Scotty Con Queso said:
Like others have said, it's mostly who makes up the community and sets on the HOA board who sets the tone.
My in-laws have a condo in Sarasota and it's 95% retirees even though it's not a 55+. I've never seen people try to control your life like they do. As soon as we (a family of 5 with 3 kids) show up we get: "How long ya in town for???" This is not friendly small talk. They want to know when we are leaving so they can be aware of when the tortuous sound of children playing will be over. Some more good ones. "Don't park like that, park like this." "Where you going to dinner?" followed by "Oh god that's a terrible place to go." Or instructions of what to/not to wash down the sink, how the trash pickup works - and doesn't work! The rules of the swimming pool. It just goes on and on and on.
Another big rule is no non-immediate family can use the condo solo. Ever. So friends can't go there alone. I really want to have someone ask me who I'm staying with there again, since this is already happened to me once before, so I can say I'm saying at the AirBnB just to see the look of horror on their face and walk away quickly.
Sorry, long rant, but the moral of the story is to not move into an HOA that is full of old people who are retired.
Oh man, that sounds a LOT like the place my grandmother used to live, with the exception that her's was a legit 55+ community. Bunch of old busybodies with nothing better to do than stir up trouble in the most passive aggressive way possible. My mom used to joke that it was like a scene out of a horror movie every time she would roll through, sets of eyes peeking through the blinds that would quickly disappear as soon as a glance was cast in their direction. Then they'd all get on the phone and gossip with each other while peering out the windows. My best friend's mom, who is also good friends with my mom, ended up moving there as well a while back (which was quite the controversy itself, owing to the fact that at the tender age of 60ish she didn't look decrepit enough for their liking) and would pass along all the intel on the salacious rumors the old biddies would dream up.
The parking situation was a particular source of contention. There were a number of designated general guest parking areas, not specific to any particular unit, but that didn't stop certain people from trying to lay claim to spots for their guests only.
Then there was the next door neighbor, a woman born (presumably) sometime in the mid-late Pleistocene epoch, who my mom referred to as Bump 'N Dent due to her apparent practice of driving by feel. Their units had a shared driveway in the shape of a "t", with the garages on either side and a parking spot at the top that was plenty wide enough for two vehicles. On multiple occasions this woman accused my mother of backing into her car, an absurd notion based not only on the facts above but also because her car was always parked INSIDE A CLOSED GARAGE! There was, however, at least one verified occurrence of her backing into my mother (projection much? 
)
After my grandmother had to move to a nursing facility and the place sat vacant for a few years, Bump 'N Dent decided to lay claim to the entire driveway, a blatant contradiction of the rules governing such things. She pitched an absolute fit when we parked a pickup truck in the driveway to move some furniture out in preparation to sell the place. We're like fine, YOU can haul the berkeleying dresser a half mile down the street then if that's what you want.
It's all pretty hilarious looking back on it, but these people did cause my poor mother quite a bit of grief on numerous occasions. I think I'd rather be euthanized than move to such a place.
