Help me select a tree

Help me pick a tree for a lobby display.  I'm remodeling the theater, and in the lobby I want to hide some wall ugliness with trees.  Dead ones, that is.  Not a big planter with a Ficus in it, I mean cut down a tree and screw it to the floor and run a wire rope to the ceiling.  They will be there as ambiance for at least 5 years, probably longer.  Something that the bark won't come off and limbs won't rot and fall on people causing sudden death would be lovely.

I have used real trees in sets before.  I typically try to use Ash, mostly because if it isn't dead already, it will be dead from Ash Borer beetles soon enough.  The problem I would see with Ash as a long-term permanent fixture is that it isn't very stable.  When it dries out, the wood shrinks and the bark becomes detached.  I think it wouldn't be long until it just looked like a dead tree.

One of the ultimate woods that refuses to rot is Locust.  Most of the locust we have in the woodpile is very dandruff-y.  It seems to shed bark dust.  Not sure if that would be an issue or not.

I live in central PA, so something common or at least natively available in the central north-east.

The height of the lobby ceiling is about 24' and I'm looking to cover two sections of wall about 12' wide.  I will obviously trim whatever branches I need to fit the shape I want.

On a related note, anyone want to come help me run 2.5 miles of fiberoptic filaments and hot glue about 20,000 translucent leaves on a dead tree?  It'll be fuuuuuunnnn.

Dad might have a good option for you.  I'll check in with him.

pre-lit Christmas tree? :)

Such an unusual request, Curtis!

In my experience, when a tree is completely dead, it's pretty much a total wreck, aesthetically speaking.  It will die gradually, with limbs rotting and falling off like some arboreal zombie before it gasps its final breath.

I vote for Bradford Pear, since if it isn't already dead, it will self-destruct by the time it's 15 years old, and you would be justified in cutting down a live one.  You could perhaps get some out of your neighbors' yards under cover of darkness, and they would be oblivious to the favor you have done for them.

I like the Bradford Pear idea, but I'm afraid I won't be able to find one the right shape or size before it has already died and rotted.

I'll give you a picture of what I was thinking.  I want it to be as though 1/4 or 1/2 of a tree grew up from the corner of the room and the canopy hangs out over the room.

I want to take a full-size tree (or appropriate limb) and trim off all the limbs on one side.  Then screw the trunk to the floor and support it to the wall half way up, and maybe a cable to the ceiling if needed.  For instance, the tree in this picture might have been 40' high to start with.

A month ago you could have had my pear tree. Now it's just a giant pile of less than one inch diameter branches beside the driveway. 

Buckthorn. A most hate filled tree. No one will mess with it.

Find a water or red oak someone is removing from a construction site. The bark is thick enough that you can screw it in place if it gets loose. 

I would say live oak but I don't imaging you see many of them in the northeast unless you are on the coast. 

Did another quick picture.  I want to basically take a tree something like this and cut off everything outside the yellow box, but I would prefer it if the branches arched down.

Plenty of swamp white oak and red oak around here.  In the red oak category we have a lot of black oak and pin oak.

Toyman01 + Sized and said:

Find a water or red oak someone is removing from a construction site. The bark is thick enough that you can screw it in place if it gets loose. 

I would say live oak but I don't imaging you see many of them in the northeast unless you are on the coast. 

 

And live oak tends to grow out as much as it grows up.    I do love traveling down south and seeing those big behemoths though.

I think my ideal tree SHAPE is yellow or white birch, but white birch isn't crowd friendly.  One touch and you'll have white chalk all over your evening wear.  Both birches also hold water and turn into rotten pith in a matter of months.

How about the trunk of choice and limbs attached however you like best? 

Or something like this is pretty cool looking. 

Some of the fir and spruce that make good Christmas trees keep their needles for months.

Weld up an armature out of rebar, get the rough shape from hardware cloth and chicken wire, cover with papier-mache, then paint.  Voila!  A tree.  Nothing to it.

In reply to 1988RedT2 :

I do like that idea.  I was just thinking that the best and easiest way to make a tree look like a tree is to use.... a tree.

but yes, making art would be an awesome way to do it... seeing as how we're an arts organization :)

Also, the size tree you are talking about is going to be HEAVY and unless you have a couple dock doors it's going to be a pain to get it indoors. Make the tree!

Not necessarily heavy at all.  The last one I put in for a show I dragged in myself.  It doesn't have to be a monster, old-growth tree.

This Ash tree was a large branch and the base was about 8" diameter.  It was about 12' wide at the canopy and 18' tall.  I just dragged through the warehouse and used a pulley to set it upright.

What I'm planning would be just a bit bigger than that.

I'd say red oak. The stuff I have had waiting to be split on my wood pile is still holding its bark pretty well. And some of that is around 5 years old.

Curtis, weren't you just asking about fire systems?  I'm wondering how your local Fire Code Guy feels about a few cubic yards of an electrically powered combustible substance in a public area.  It would be a pain to put it up and then have to take it down.

1988RedT2 said:

I vote for Bradford Pear, since if it isn't already dead, it will self-destruct by the time it's 15 years old, and you would be justified in cutting down a live one.  You could perhaps get some out of your neighbors' yards under cover of darkness, and they would be oblivious to the favor you have done for them.

Bradford Pear: One of the few lifeforms that smells considerably better dead than it does alive. While I am very much in favor of killing them, I would not expect to last very long as a decoration. On the "trees that need killing" list, I'd also go with princess trees, but I also don't think they would hold up well.

For downward curving branches and relatively sturdy wood, a weeping yoshino cherry tree comes to mind, but I'm not sure where you'd find one being taken out. I like 1988RedT2's suggestion on welding a faux tree out of rebar myself.

1988RedT2 said:

Weld up an armature out of rebar, get the rough shape from hardware cloth and chicken wire, cover with papier-mache, then paint.  Voila!  A tree.  Nothing to it.

To continue on this theme.  Try contacting the local starving artist community and see which one has decent welding and metal working skills.   Ask several whose work examples seems promising to submit a sketch of an all metal tree they could build out of welded and cut steel. Tell them the dimensions.  (plan to need to manage the lifting equipment for final setup) 

 Maybe welded steel skeleton with cut out copper leaves brazed on to the steel branches.  Copper turns green with time. 

Voila - a tree sculpture that never needs clean up or repair.  

Curtis asks the best questions on this forum. Regardless of whether he is seeking advice on sexual technique or horticulture expertise his questions are always top notch. 
 

Combine Curtis' questions with Wally's answers and it creates an irresistible combination. 

...it does beg the question "Why would car guys know a darned thing about trees?"

The only thing I know about trees is how to cut them up. I am exceptionally good at identifying tree species, but you're gonna have to cut them into lumber and run them through a surface planer first.

What about white birch?

My grandparents kept white birch logs for ages as ornamental for a fireplace that wasnt used. they never seemed to shed.