How do you stay in a job you hate

Ok, I'm not going to rant here, I'm asking a serious question. I started a new job about 6 months ago. About 3 weeks in I realized that my team leader (he's not officially my boss) has mental issues. Seriously. He's belligerent and abusive, and creates a hostile work environment. His boss has protected him for 20 years, so he's not going anywhere. I went to H.R. (first time I EVER went to HR for anything other than a benefit question) and it was swept under the rug (see the previous sentence). I've never worked for someone that I respect less than him, or that I am so sure I can perform his job better than him.
So, I'm looking for another job. In the meantime, how do I keep from blowing my top around this dude? How do you all work for a boss you don't like for years, decades?

I unfortunately got fired before I found another job, so I wish I could tell you.

Fear.

Fear of not having enough money and being homeless. Fear of not having insurance to help pay for medicine that keeps you alive.

Oh wait...that's me.

I punch things. Most boxes in the deli cooler have knuckle marks on them. I don't recommend this, though.

I couldn't and didn't. I just packed up and quit with a little cash and a dream. I got lucky.

Move on as quick as you can. Those caustic atmospheres have a bad habit of showing up at home when you have to deal with them day in and day out.

In reply to DrBoost:

I assume there is some reason you cannot leave for another job? Is there potential to transfer to another part of the organization?

My advice is to leave if you can. Not sure how realistic that is.

Q: "How do you all work for a boss you don't like for years, decades?" A: "Poorly"

Stay focused on your search for a new job. Keep your head down. If you're like 99% of the population you're probably emoting your dislike for the guy and the situation. Can you move around to a different area or at least involve yourself more with another group?

Well, let's see. For a long time, I did it because I had to. Kid, wife in school, bills all that. One day, I didn't any more. Lots of eff words were said, and I punched that clock for the last time.

DrBoost wrote: Ok, I'm not going to rant here, I'm asking a serious question. I started a new job about 6 months ago. About 3 weeks in I realized that my team leader (he's not officially my boss) has mental issues. Seriously. He's belligerent and abusive, and creates a hostile work environment. His boss has protected him for 20 years, so he's not going anywhere. I went to H.R. (first time I EVER went to HR for anything other than a benefit question) and it was swept under the rug (see the previous sentence). I've never worked for someone that I respect less than him, or that I am so sure I can perform his job better than him. So, I'm looking for another job. In the meantime, how do I keep from blowing my top around this dude? How do you all work for a boss you don't like for years, decades?

I vigorously cash my check in some manner. And I make sure to enjoy cashing that check. After that, you just have to wait for that person to expire. It happens to all of us and will happen to he/she.

I worked for a lunatic for a few years, it was a hard dangerous job to begin with, made worse by the Stalin-eque plant manager and his cronies that eagerly imitated his sadistic management tactics. I managed to escape his gulag before he did me in, and gladly took a pay cut to do it. But I was a single guy with no debt and few responsibilities at the time.

I had been actively looking for a better job for more than a year when I received several viable offers at once. The job that I chose to take was with a company that I had applied to well over a year before they called me.

Hopefully things will work faster for you, but you have to put effort in to get results out. If you have any connections don't be afraid to use them. Every real job that I've ever had came from who I knew much more than what I knew.

16 more years probably . I don't hate it completely yet but they're working on it.

I do the best I can for my customers. It give me the sense of pride. If that means my numbers don't fall in line (that's the only thing that mgmt cares about since thats what they're paid off of) then so be it. If that means someday I'm doing what I do for someone else, then so be it. If I had to make the boss happy but feel like I'm doing customers dirty, I couldn't do it anymore.

Hold your head up, be ethical and do good work. Look for another job.

Upon leaving for your higher paying job with better benefits, shake the boss's hand and ask if he thinks he's doing the right thing for the company.

Blowing your top can only make you the bad guy.

Good luck.

Dan

Didn't read all the posts, sorry if I repeat:

Find a safe outlet that is NOT alcohol. Support from the spouse is essential (she needs to know if/when you need "you" time). Find a groove while at work and hope you can stick with it until you get something new/better.

And most importantly: Keep the issues at work.

Good luck man! Just think of how great your next job is going to be

It is always easier to handle stressful situations when you have a plan. You need a plan for moving out of this toxic atmosphere.

Update your LinkedIn profile or make one if you don't have one. Connect with people you know and like in the industry and don't be afraid to request a recommendation. It's easy and it will get your profile more exposure in the marketplace.

Update your resume. Keep it to one or two pages and get it out there. Ask for letters of recommendation from people with whom you have had a great professional relationship (and offer them the same if it seems appropriate).

Expand your network. Talk to people you trust about what they do, and who they know who might be looking for someone with your qualifications. It often does come down to who you know more than what you know.

Be determined to take the high road when it comes to your current boss He's insecure and probably threatened by your abilities. This is a dangerous combo, don't give him any ammo to use against you or put a bad mark on your accomplishments. Be prepared to walk before ripping him the new one he deserves.

Oh, and good luck!

The one thing that is helping me is we have allowed incompetence to fester so long that I get left more or less to myself as long as I keep picking up pieces. I always do as much as I can to keep things going and that let's the powers that be forget that I'm there so I can avoid much of our mindless busy work. I am making the best of it but for a number of reasons if I could I would leave tomorrow.

Your senses numb and you become automatic. If you are young enough you move on.

Hungary Bill wrote: Find a safe outlet that is NOT alcohol.

Damn. I was going to suggest whiskey :(

I know a lot of my co-workers find my boss to be completely irrational.. and I have seen him in action.. it is bad when he latches into you. I also think that the co-workers he latches into the most, deserve it. I do not hate my boss, I hate those co-workers who grab on and pull you down with them, They don't want to work and they don't want you working because you will make them look bad.

Sadly with three Casinos in AC closed now, another flirting with Bankruptcy and the fact that I work at the one casino that outperforms all the other's combined.. makes it very difficult for me to even consider getting a job somewhere else. The thing that keeps me going is my plan to get a bigger boat and get the hell out of here.

Why? Mission Hill had a great quote about "a unique mix of poverty and spinelessness, without which the american service sector wouldn't exist"

How? The walk in freezer door at work has fist marks. But now I have adopted "The Zen of Apathy".

mad_machine wrote: Sadly with three Casinos in AC closed now, another flirting with Bankruptcy and the fact that I work at the one casino that outperforms all the other's combined.. makes it very difficult for me to even consider getting a job somewhere else. The thing that keeps me going is my plan to get a bigger boat and get the hell out of here.

Got a card? Come to Vegas. The hall keeps begging me to take gigs, even though I have a F/T house gig.

Watch the Honey Badger video on YouTube. Then, be the honey badger. Honey badger mentality got me to survive my last year or so of working for The Company I Hated. I did my job adequately but didn't give a E36 M3 beyond that.

Also, occasionally punching the crap out of the passenger seat in my company car helped.

First, in your current situation. Don't let the first failed attempt with HR be the end of it, document and report every abuse and let them know that you are establishing a pattern. If nothing else it's going to aid you when....

Step 2. Don't take his abuse. If he is being abusive shut him down, document it, and walk away. If/when he decides he has enough of you you will have the ammunition to prove it was a documented hostile work environment and any actions he is taking toward you could be seen as retaliatory. Get a good lawyer, cash the check.

I've rarely found it to get to that point, abusive types are usually too scared to actually do anything if you call them out on it.

The only time I've ever really been in that situation I had another job lined up, I couldn't quit without owing my current employer $$$ for education so I called out the abusive manager in spectacular fashion and got fired :) It was glorious and some of the most fun I've ever had...but not a great idea. I was young enough that it was a bridge that I could stand to burn.

My current boss is well below my level and really was hired to push the paper that I don't want to push, but he's a nice guy and is willing to let me call my own shots on the things which I know more about so it's tolerable.

I'm still trying to figure out why they haven't fired my new boss of this last year. Even with piles of examples on why he isn't qualified for his job and blatantly lied on his resume' But....He is still around and the only thing I have going for me is a very good paper trail and seniority.

mndsm wrote: Well, let's see. For a long time, I did it because I had to. Kid, wife in school, bills all that. One day, I didn't any more. Lots of eff words were said, and I punched that cock for the last time.

What I thought you wrote.

Grtechguy wrote: I'm still trying to figure out why they haven't fired my new boss of this last year. Even with piles of examples on why he isn't qualified for his job and blatantly lied on his resume' But....He is still around and the only thing I have going for me is a very good paper trail and seniority.

I see that here in AC. There is one guy here who keeps going from lead position to lead position, even though he is terrible to work for, abusive, and knows little to nothing about what is going on.. yet he can BS his way into these jobs because he has "experience"

It's just more truth to the adage that E36 M3 always floats