t25torx wrote: Hypothetically I would cancel any credit cards and close access to any accounts she may be able to reach. Once you file the papers you can't make any changes to that stuff till it's all worked out in court.
This! I funded a trip for her and her daughter, by not closing a joint credit card. I did manage to close the joint checking account, though. But, even after I told her it was closed, she wrote some checks. She ended up getting sued for them.
The day my ex said she was leaving, I opened a new checking account. Then watched the joint account religiously until checks that were outstanding had cleared, then told her I was closing it in two days. Luckily she wasn't that vindictive...
Hypotheticaly thanks everyone.
I went through what was probably one of the simplest divorces ever, and as others have noted it still wasn't simple.
In MD we had the option to use a mediator, which overall sounds very similar to the situation Mental had except the mediator was legally allowed to represent us both. When we set the appointment she told us it was $250 an hour and took, on average, 10 hours. We didn't have that kind of money so we worked it out in advance, walked in and 45 minutes later everything was agreed to and ready for the judge.
We got a similar comment as Mental as well "How can 2 people who can agree so easily on this not work things out" We decided to quit while we were still friends and 17 years later we still are.
We've amended the child support agreement on the fly without ever getting a court involved and at every turn simply asked ourselves if whatever we were doing was in the best interest of our child. It's one of the few adult things I've done in my life but it's worked out well.
It completely depends on the state.
Whatever you do, never file for a divorce in the state of Maryland. It took me 18 berkeleying months to get my divorce decree, and my ex-wife cleaned out her closets and disappeared, so it's not like it was contested or anything.
I was in KY, she was in OH. Not too much issue except for slight delay to serve her paperwork by a deputy.
Hypothetically speaking it's possible for a guy to get set up so that he takes a purely theoretical swing at his completely imaginary wife and thus lose EVERYTHING.
Hypothetically an employee here might have been arrested for criminal domestic violence today. 
May I ask a question? Not hijacking.
I understand when men worked and women stayed home with the kids and the milkman, that upon divorce she gets some of his money. After all she didn't have a career out of the home.
Now days, most women work. Mine makes more than me. Why do I give up half (or so) of my retirement for her?
914Driver wrote: May I ask a question? Not hijacking. I understand when men worked and women stayed home with the kids and the milkman, that upon divorce she gets some of his money. After all she didn't have a career out of the home. Now days, most women work. Mine makes more than me. Why do I give up half (or so) of my retirement for her?
What I've come up with: marriage is supposed to be for life. Therefore, you are planning on your retirement together. I know that for my girlfriend and I, providing that we get married, she will be making more than I will, but my retirement package will likely be much better. Because of that, our investment strategy and the division of the salaries/benefits will be much different than if we were to be doing it as single people. Although I suppose that you could just put it all into a percentage basis, but that has way too many unstable variables for my liking.
914Driver wrote: May I ask a question? Not hijacking. I understand when men worked and women stayed home with the kids and the milkman, that upon divorce she gets some of his money. After all she didn't have a career out of the home. Now days, most women work. Mine makes more than me. Why do I give up half (or so) of my retirement for her?
Actually, in your case, she would be paying you alimony.
mtn wrote:914Driver wrote: May I ask a question? Not hijacking. I understand when men worked and women stayed home with the kids and the milkman, that upon divorce she gets some of his money. After all she didn't have a career out of the home. Now days, most women work. Mine makes more than me. Why do I give up half (or so) of my retirement for her?What I've come up with: marriage is supposed to be for life. Therefore, you are planning on your retirement together. I know that for my girlfriend and I, providing that we get married, she will be making more than I will, but my retirement package will likely be much better. Because of that, our investment strategy and the division of the salaries/benefits will be much different than if we were to be doing it as single people. Although I suppose that you could just put it all into a percentage basis, but that has way too many unstable variables for my liking.
Here in SC I was making way more than my wife but she had a better retirement plan. For that reason I paid the vast majority of the bills (the mortgage, the utilities, car repairs etc and she jacked her 401 contribution way up, plus carried our health insurance since her company paid a much larger part than mine did. I started a 401 of my own even though the match sucked and for various reasons I wound up with 2 that were smaller than her 1.
At divorce time, per state guidelines the 401's were pooled and split 50/50. YMMV.
As others have said, the easiest divorce in the world sucks, hard. Even if all you have to do is sign your name and walk away, it messes with your head. You'll doubt your worth. You'll wonder if your word means anything anymore, since you couldn't keep the biggest promise you ever made. You'll have trust issues. It's just bad.
Hypothetically, of course.
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