I either need a pep talk, some advice, or a slap in the face. I'm up for any or all of those

I've been trying to lose weight, no I'll correct that, I've been successfully losing weight since August. I'm down about 40 lbs. I'm doing intermittent fasting. I didn't know this was a thing, just heard a coworker skipping a meal and figured that's something I can handle. So I only allow my self to eat between noon and 6 pm. I have also cut out pretty much all junk food. I now have in a month what I usually would have had in a day. I'm hitting the gym, usually 4-6 times a week.
People told me I'd stop craving sweets after a week or two, and that I wouldn't be hungry all day after a week or so. They lied! I'm freaking HUNGRY. I sometimes will wake up at 4 am because I'm hungry. From when I wake up till noon I drink water, lots of water. They said "drink water when you're hungry. the hunger will go away". Ok, they didn't lie. If I take a large drink, or even a whole glass of water I'm not hungry for 84 seconds. Then I'm hungry again.  

My wife cooks wholesome, well-balanced meals (usually, always wholesome, not always well-balanced I think), and I eat until I'm satisfied. Sometimes I'll eat more because I know I have 18 hours until I can eat again. 

Anyway, I'm sick of being hungry, and I'm sick of craving sweets. I realized that I was happier at 245 than I am at 205 (and I still have at least 20 lbs to go!). 

When I do get down to whatever my target weight is, I don't think I can maintain that. I don't want to do this #*@% fasting for the rest of my life, and I'd like to enjoy the occasional restaurant meal, or a bottle of coke and not gain twice as much weight as food I just ate. I mean that once I had a burrito. I gained 2 lbs. That burrito wasn't even a pound, how the heck do you gain 2 lbs from less than a pound of food!?!?!?  

Anyway, I'm not giving up, just venting, and hoping that someone has words of wisdom for me. Or a good slap across the face. 

How do you gain more weight than the food that you ate weighs? Sodium. You're retaining water.

Something I've found helpful (I'm down 15 pounds since September, 30 more to go by June), is to take a "break" for a month. When I say break, I mean I'm still counting calories, but I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm just trying to not gain any - but I'm still losing, slowly, because I'm eating my maintenance calories for my current goal weight, which is 5 pounds less than whatever I am at that time. Reevaluate each month. 

It is a marathon, not a sprint. 

Do we want to start a weight loss/fitness goal thread?

Sorry for the post-whoring here. 
 

Are you getting enough protein? Eat it first thing in your meal. It is the nutrient that takes the longest to metabolize, so you're full longer with it. When you're eating, after your first serving, give yourself 20 minutes before getting seconds. Drink a glass of water in that time. It takes 20 minutes for your brain to realize you're full. Its why you can eat 15 hot dogs in 20 minutes, but if you try to eat 15 over an hour, you'd never be able to. (I made up the 15 number, just usting it as an example to demonstrate the idea).

If you have a snack, have it be some tuna, or a TBSP of peanut butter - something high in protein (but watch the calories). Drink a glass of water with it. 

I have never really struggled with weight. Gained more weight than I wanted, but I'm talking 10-15 extra pounds (I think 20lbs overweight at my peak). That said, I like indulgent food and beverage on the regular.

I would say do more exercise. In particular, I *highly* recommend strength training. Ideally with barbells. Packing on muscle uses a LOT of resources and boosts base metabolic rate substantially. You can work with your tendency to want to eat and not worry about losing weight - maybe shoot to keep ~200lbs - but work on building muscle mass to turn that weight from fat to muscle. Get leaner at the same weight.

Beer Baron said:

I have never really struggled with weight. Gained more weight than I wanted, but I'm talking 10-15 extra pounds (I think 20lbs overweight at my peak). That said, I like indulgent food and beverage on the regular.

I would say do more exercise. In particular, I *highly* recommend strength training. Ideally with barbells. Packing on muscle uses a LOT of resources and boosts base metabolic rate substantially. You can work with your tendency to want to eat and not worry about losing weight - maybe shoot to keep ~200lbs - but work on building muscle mass to turn that weight from fat to muscle. Get leaner at the same weight.

Weight training is excellent. You're burning a relatively small amount of calories while doing it, compared to say swimming, but you're building muscle at the same time. 1lb of muscle will burn more calories doing nothing than 1lb of fat does. So it is a win-win.

I think you are on the right track. It takes a while for the brain to realize it doesn't need more food it wants more. I lost 40 pounds a couple of years ago, diabetes diagnosis.  My Dr had me eat smaller portions  and exercise more and not eat after PM. I used to have a couple of snacks after dinner,  once I stopped that, the weight came off fairly easily. It took months before I wasn't feeling hungry much of the day. I can't stand drinking tons of water so I use Crystal light lemonade mix to add some flavor, it is low calorie and lots of flavors.  Keep plugging away and understand that you will fluctuate and that is ok. The other suggestions I have had are don't cut out your favorite foods, just eat less so you don't feel like you are missing all the good stuff. For sweets, I feel your pain, I used eat packages of cookies now it is 1 or 2. Good luck, you got this!

I lost 30 lbs by cutting sugar and sweeteners. I try to keep added sugar below 30 grams a day. Just because some fake sugars dont contain calories, it doesnt mean your body isnt treating it like a sugar.

I felt tricked by how much sugar I was eating and Drinking!

The only sugar I will have without much concern is lactose (milk) or fresh fruit.

You don't need to wait until noon to eat. Dinner to breakfast is intermittent fasting. 12 hours is plenty. Just have a couple eggs in the am and go to work. Drink tea or coffee to sub for the sodas. When you want a KitKat grab an apple. 
 

you are doing great!!

also- I don't know what I'm talking about. Grains of salt etc

Gotta find a sustainable groove that you can stick with. If the fasting is the hardest part for you, but you enjoy the workouts, I'd do more of what you enjoy and less of what you don't. Strength training is great, but if you're not giving your body enough fuel you'll run yourself into the ground and risk injury with any exercise routine. I second the motion to prioritize protein in your diet. If you need a snack, make sure it has protein. When you eat a meal, eat the protein first. Everything in moderation is a good rule to shoot for with both diet and activity. Some people can limit themselves naturally while others need more discipline, like a dedicated cheat meal every so often, or a scheduled rest day from the gym. Again, take some inventory of yourself and do what you think will fit best in the life that you want to live.

And this is exactly why intermittent fasting should only be used in conjunction with a more global 'lifestyle change'. 

Think of I.F. as a tool in your arsenal.  It has benefits- accelerated weightloss, dedication and focus on specific details, fasted training benefits...

It also has drawbacks-  typically unsustainable long-term, performance/strength reduction, much more sensitive to large weight swings, moodiness and irritability. 

Sound familiar?  What I would advise you to do, as a member of the 'I've lost near triple digits' club, and reading/researching/experimenting with every diet/training fad that I've come across (except juice diets and cleanses.  those are dumb)- 

Set a milestone to where you want Intermittent fasting to take you.   E.g. At 200lb, I'm taking a break and going into a maintenance phase, where you aren't actively looking to lose weight, but are actively avoiding gaining weight.  Eat 5 or so PORTIONED meals, every 2-3hrs that you are awake.  Make sure they're healthy.  Don't overeat.  Be as dedicated as you are to IF now into weighing and keeping your portions honest.   Do it for 6-8 weeks, keep weighing yourself.  Learn how your body reacts not only on the scale, but in composition, mood, energy, and strength.  

If you find that you want to lose more weight, reduce one of your 5 meals by 50% in macronutrient content, and see how it affects you.  If you find the desire to do another IF cycle, you may do so... but the desire needs to be there. 

I've gone from 275 to 180 at both ends of the pole.  sometimes quickly, sometimes very slowly or not at all.  It's taken me 6 years to realize that everyone's body reacts differently to different dietary stimuli.  Also of extreme importance is finding your own 'happy weight'-  the number on the scale or look in the mirror that strikes the best balance between how you feel, mood, energy, and dietary dedication.  For me, that number is 205.  Any lighter and I'm a raging b-hole, and it's way more effort than I'm willing to input.  Yours may be different.  find it!  

My final note is that I cannot stress enough that intermittent fasting is not a long-term lifestyle change for 90+% of the population.  It sucks a lot for me, but I also do it on 8 week cycles here and there to maintain, depending on whats been going on in my life.  Please please please please do NOT be afraid to eat.  Hunger has its place, but not in the way that you talk about.  What you're experiencing is unhealthy, and I'd recommend you try and find a plan that balances your mood and not waking up in the middle of the night ravenous.  That's not good. 

Good luck.  REach out if you want more depth.  I've spend thousands of hours of research and have tried it all, my friend.  

I know that complex carbs take longer to digest, so they keep you fuller longer.

Other than that, I don't have anything to add.  You seem to have it all in hand except for the mental aspect of that, and I can't help you there.

I'm only here to encourage to not loose sight of the 40lb weight drop!  Congrats.  Huge accomplishment.  

You are doing great so far , 

but the last pounds will take longer ,  and is 20 pounds more loss  realistic ?

Can't help you with the cravings, sugar is my personal demon too. I have found that cutting out sweets 100% doesn't work. Like anything else, its all about moderation if you have the will power. (IF you could bottle will power, you'd have more $$$ than Bezos)

I eat a lot of Triple-Zero yogurt, 90 calories and pretty sweet. Even the Chobani Flips come in a bunch of flavors that are basically dessert, and only 190 cals. I also keep sugar-free gum and mints handy, they are a good way to quickly react to a craving with minimal calories.  I also buy 100-calories and small packs of cookies and chips. You get the mental reward of eating an entire bag of something, with only 100 - 150 calories. 

I started 2021 at 235 and am hovering at 225 now. I need more exercise, so major kudos to you on that. I can gain 2 - 3 pounds in an evening, and have several times this year already. Takes 5-6 days to get back to where I was. The salt comment is interesting, I am trying to watch sodium and man is it tough!

I lost 35 Lbs. (212 to 177) in 2019 without even trying just by working super hard.

Easy week = up at 2:00 AM on Monday, take a ~6:20 flight out of LAX to wherever and not get home until ~2:00 AM on Saturday morning...and then there were eight hard weeks involving international travel.

My work isn't physical, I mostly just stand at a podium teaching engineering statistics but long days and constant mental focus burnt 122,500 calories (35 X 3,500) in one year or a pound every 10.4 days.

YMMV but consistently staying focused worked great for me...no cravings, no hungry "I ain't got time for that".

Some weight did creep back on due to COVID induced travel restrictions but I leveled off at 182 Lbs. last June.

Question - how do I determine how much I should weigh?  Internet charts are all over the place and seem to recommend very low weights.

I'm 56 years old, 5'9" with a very average body type.  I ran a fair amount (~20 miles per week) back in my teens to early twenties and weighed ~155 Lbs but there's all kinds of internet sources that say I should weight 135 Lbs.

Whatever, I'm not trying to be in great shape...I just want to feel and look good and not be at any weight related health risk.

I'm thinking of targeting 170 Lbs. with a plus / minus of 5 Lbs. which would give me a worst case scenario of 175 Lbs. or 20 Lbs. heavier than when I was a pretty fit young lad.

I've encountered a few studies that indicate 15% overweight is the point where health issues are first statistically significant.  If you can "see" it at 15%, it's probably happening a little before that (sorry, stats guy here) signal to noise ratio, Taguchi methods, blah, blah, blah.

Let's say something around 12.5% is the real number so if we use 155 Lbs. as my ideal weight, that sets the limit at 174.3 Lbs. (part of my rational for the 175 Lb. upper bound)

Any guidance, am I setting the limit too high?

pinchvalve (Forum Supporter) said:

 

I eat a lot of Triple-Zero yogurt, 90 calories and pretty sweet. Even the Chobani Flips come in a bunch of flavors that are basically dessert, and only 190 cals. I also keep sugar-free gum and mints handy, they are a good way to quickly react to a craving with minimal calories.  I also buy 100-calories and small packs of cookies and chips. You get the mental reward of eating an entire bag of something, with only 100 - 150 calories. 

 

Yogurt is really good for calorie to protein ratio. Plain non-fat Greek yogurt is probably the best, as you add sugar and fat it gets worse.

As a 90-lbs weakling my entire life, I got no useful advice. But you've already knocked down 40lbs and that is a hell of an achievement. You can get that last 20.

Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.

(edit)

Alright, maybe I have some advice now that I think about it. Once I hit middle age I switched my late night snack to lightly salted peanuts, or good quality lunch meat. Gets that salt craving out of the way, but only contains protein.

A decade ago I had to start watching what I ate because I'm borderline diabetic, which was discovered while I was in for a triple bypass. Doctor put me on a diet for diabetics that kept me between 2000 and 2500 calories a day. I was told to eat six times per day, which I did faithfully. I was hungry for the first two weeks, but then it went away as my body got used to the regimen. I went from 204 to 172 in about 6 weeks and then my weight just stayed there, which was fine. The only exercise I did during that six weeks was go for a thirty minute walk every day. After 3 months I was sent to therapy and started doing serious cardio to get me back in shape. I resumed playing hockey a little over 6 months after the bypass.  The key to the whole thing was eating frequently to quell the hunger you will naturally feel over a longer period. Getting used to the smaller portion sizes took a couple of weeks.

My son does the 12 hour fast.  I think you need to open your window a bit.  18 hours might be too much.  

I'm no nutritional expert, but fasting until noon is not doing you any favors. You need to eat a small breakfast to kick your metabolism up a gear first thing. Then it's running higher and burning a few more calories all day.

On the intermittent fasting: There have been no studies showing it is effective long term. It may (probably) help jump start something, but it probably isn't beneficial as a permanent eating style. 

Thanks all for the encouragement and advice. I helped me out of the funk I was in.  
I wasn't planning on keeping up with the IF long-term. I'm thinking about stopping now. Like someone said, maybe it served its purpose by helping me drop 40 lbs. Now it's on to phase two.  
My blood pressure was always "on the high side of normal, you should keep an eye on that" but went to "you have high blood pressure, we are going do prescribe you a medication". I declined the medication. I told the doc "meds are for people who are sick. I'm not sick. I'm a fatty. I'm a fatty because I eat like a fatty. I'll get it under control with diet." She was impressed, but said she'd send the script in anyway haha. 

About a month into this I went to the doc for a check-up, specifically because I wanted blood work. I don't remeber the numbers, but everything that was bad, was now good. She was really impressed.

I'm going to hit the gym again tonight. I've been doing 20 mins on the treadmill, then 40 minutes strength training. I like strength training more. I think I'll do all strength training for a while, maybe that'll keep me going for a while longer, to get over this slump/hump.  

Another question. A few mentioned counting calories. I tried that, but I just don't know how. I downloaded an app and was tracking my intake. The problem was that some food had such a wide range to choose from, I realized that my calorie counting couldn't possibly be accurate. I know they have apps that let you scan the bar code, which is slick as can be, but I don't eat much processed food, my wife cooks both of my meals every day. Is there a reliable way to count calories? 
 

pinchvalve (Forum Supporter) said:

I eat a lot of Triple-Zero yogurt, 90 calories and pretty sweet. Even the Chobani Flips come in a bunch of flavors that are basically dessert, and only 190 cals. I also keep sugar-free gum and mints handy, they are a good way to quickly react to a craving with minimal calories.  I also buy 100-calories and small packs of cookies and chips. You get the mental reward of eating an entire bag of something, with only 100 - 150 calories. 

Thank you for that! I'm going shopping after the gym tonight!

DrBoost said:

 

Another question. A few mentioned counting calories. I tried that, but I just don't know how. I downloaded an app and was tracking my intake. The problem was that some food had such a wide range to choose from, I realized that my calorie counting couldn't possibly be accurate. I know they have apps that let you scan the bar code, which is slick as can be, but I don't eat much processed food, my wife cooks both of my meals every day. Is there a reliable way to count calories? 
 

A scale. This is the one I have: Amazon link

Read the label. Hopefully it has weight, as weight doesn't really lie. If it doesn't have weight, then measure it with cups/spoons. When I'm serious about my weight loss - meaning I'm on a strict deficit - I'll weigh and measure EVERYTHING. It adds probably 10 minutes to my day. It drives my wife nuts, but she's a Dietitian and understands and doesn't say anything. It would be easier with a larger kitchen, but we're often cooking together and always in each others way because this kitchen isn't big enough for the one of us. 

After a while, you can ease up on it a little - I can pour my cereal out to within 10 grams of what I want it to be - but it has become enough of a habit for me that I still usually do it. I'll then write it down into a small pad of paper, and when I get a chance, load it into a spreadsheet to see how many calories I have left for dinner. 

For things that have a bunch of ingredients... Well, get your abacus out and start adding. For instance, I made a pizza from scratch. I figured out the calories in my flour, olive oil, tomatoes, cheese, etc., and added it all together. My whole pizza had something like 4,500 calories. Cut that into 8 pieces, each piece had 562 calories, give or take. For my vodka sauce, I did the same thing, and since the sauce pan I was using conveniently had volume marked on it, I figured out that I had 2 quarts of sauce, and all of the ingredients I put in added up to 2400 calories. Therefore, each 1/2 cup of vodka sauce had 150 calories (actually probably less, as some of the alcohol would have burned off). 

Fruits and veggies are easy, just weigh them. The magical internet will have the nutrition by weight if you look hard enough.