My daycare, preschool, and kindergarten were all at a Methodist church. My family was itself fairly non religious, half Presbyterian, half Catholic, none practicing. The church was just a mile from home so it made childcare convenient.
I was three years old the first time a doctor looked me in the face and said my dad was going to die. At the same time, I had the people at daycare/preschool going on and on about how God takes care of the good people and punishes the bad people. Well to a three year old, your dad is one of the best people you know, and that kind of started my push away from the church.
As I got older, into my teenage years, I started seeing people taking their religion to extremes, even among classmates, so I started studying and reading about religions and their histories.
Did you know there are over 30 THOUSAND types of Christianity in the world and hardly any use even 10% of all the books of the "original" bible? Did you know the "King James version" was commissioned by King James to be edited from the original texts to make the atrocities he was committing seem "positive in the eyes of the Lord" to his subjects?
Digging deeper into things, chasing down old texts, I learned that more than a few of the "main" stories of the Abrahamic religions were the same stories from religions thousands of years older, just with different names. Essentially adopted and edited for the "modern" times, and shortly after I turned my back on the "big 3" pretty much forever.
This pushed me to researching different takes. Buddhism, Hinduism, proper old fashioned paganism, Roman and Egyptian religions where a lot of the Abrahamic stories came from originally. I found while I could see agreeable ground in the eastern religions, the idea of subscribing to any actual organized religion just sat wrong with me. The idea of devoting my entire life to something I would never meet, talk to, or see, on the chance of something positive happening after a lifetime of negatives, it just doesn't work for me.
If we want to go by books and teachings, I would be considered a LeVayan Satanist. That doesn't mean I worship the devil or call on demons to do my bidding, but by the book and the dogma, I look after myself and my family above all else. As long as the things I do feel good, provide for my family and don't negatively affect others (directly) I am good. As far as what I put down on a survey or census? Just none.
I do not fear death, I don't believe in an afterlife the same way I don't believe in a pre life. It's only logical if there is an afterlife, there would be a prelife, but only Hinduism and the ancient religions really touch on that with reincarnation, without calling for weekly attendance, a tithe of 10% of the gross earnings of the household, wearing or not wearing silly hats, and requiring the forgiveness of unforgivable crimes(yes, there is a very specific group in mind for this last item).
I find faith to be a crutch for a lot of people, or like an uno reverse card they keep in their pocket. I think the idea that any sin or crime can be forgiven just by asking is a fantasy, and it raises far more questions than it answers.
Most of my thoughts come around to the selfishness and ego of humanity itself. To think in this massive universe, we are somehow the only "intelligent" species, put here by a specific creator to toil away for them, as a special project or pet, it's not logical, it doesn't make any sense at all, and I really would need to argue that if that truly was the case, the original sun worshippers at the beginning of humanity were world's closer to appeasing that higher power than any modern religious person or religion, especially with the way religion has been weaponized the last thousand years or so.
But the complexities, but the statistics, there would HAVE to be a creator. No. What was there before the universe? What IS the universe? What will come after it?
We as a species are not smart enough to even recognize the things we don't yet know or understand, so I don't think we can really judge if there is a higher power or not. If there is, the odds are not in humanities favor of it being how we have described at all throughout history, from sun and wind gods, to multi limbed beings with flying machines, to a great bearded white guy. I understand that holding that belief anyway is considered "faith".
I understand some people just need that to feel belonging, to feel that their 50-80 years here, barely even a blip in earth time let alone the universe itself, matters and makes a difference. I don't understand why they feel or want that and I'm in no position to judge, I just don't feel it at all.