Maybach S600 Caption Contest

"Did you see this report on human trafficking Bob?" ----------------------- "Yeah, they mentioned the guy I bought my maid from."

Please, do better than that.

pinchvalve wrote:

"Hey Bob, have you seen this company that sells luxury bottled water?"

"Hahaha that sounds silly Dave, why would I want that?"

"Well they have California drought water, Syrian conflict water, and Darfur war orphan's tears."

"My God Dave! Do they sell it by the barrel? I'm going to need enough to fill the pool on my megayacht."

"Come on Bob, everybody knows the 1% reads the news on an iPad."

"Tom, we're in the .1%, and I own this newspaper."

pinchvalve wrote:

"Hey Bob, look at the view from the roof camera. What do we look like?"

"A couple of self-sufficient masters of the universe cruising in style, Dave."

"We don't look like we're strapped into the back of this car like a couple of helpless babies in oversized baby seats?"

"Uh...no way Dave...this is a very dignified way to travel...very safe too..."

"Bob, I Googled "maid service Dubai" and got 10 results."

"Tom, add "cheapest" in that search string."

"Look at all these reasonably priced classic collector cars."

"Where are they?"

"Atlanta."

"Buy them all."

Randolph Duke: Money isn't everything, Mortimer.

Mortimer Duke: Oh, grow up.

Randolph Duke: Mother always said you were greedy.

Mortimer Duke: She meant it as a compliment.

pinchvalve wrote:

"When I picked you up you were the young, expensive Asian escort in this picture, why are you an old white man now?"

"It happens when you sit in this model car, I've seen it before. It wears off after a few days."

"I'm not paying for this."

"You should give it a chance, you might enjoy yourself if you can be more open-minded..."

Rich dude #1 to rich dude #2 "So you went with the Maybach after all?"

Rich dude #2 replying to rich dude #1 "Only because they wouldn't let me bring my DARTZ back from Shanghai, even the .01% has to compromise once and while. By the way, does your son still want a seat on the FIFA board? If he's still interested I can make that happen now".

Rich dude #1 back to #2 "I know someone in the administration that could get the DARTZ in through a "loophole", one phone call and its a done deal. Oh, speaking of done deals, did I forward that email from Bernnie (Ecclestone) to you yet? Bernnie is such a joker!"

All I can think of:

I got this new app, its called "the man". I just have to touch here and it systematically adjusts the whole entire world to make life easier and easier for us while simultaneously making it harder and harder for everyone else.

I was going to go with grey poupon futures.

It's Candy, and you Crush it!
Brilliant!

In reply to HappyAndy:

"Until Maybach comes to it's senses and offers a Whale Penis interior it's just going to be an overpriced Benz. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"You know for a minute there Bob I was a little worried about the fed's next move, then I realized I own it. Silly me (chuckles)."

" look at what some college girls will do for a tshirt"

"muffy?!!!!!?!?!?!!!"

"How is it that we can afford this German luxury auto, but I can't afford a decent haircut, and you don't seem to have a razor?"

"How 'bout them Democrats, huh?"

pinchvalve wrote:

"These seats are great, but I can't find the car's flush app."

"And that's what my Prince Albert looks like"

(Nods approvingly)

"Bob. This is bed and breakfast my assistant booked for us next weekend."

"Which room are we in?"

"Whatever room we want. She booked the bed and breakfast for us next weekend."

"Hey Bob, check out this video. I paid some homeless guy twenty bucks to fight another homeless guy!"

"Our new driver starts tomorrow."

"Morgan Freeman?"

"Yup."

"Excellent."

Guy with iPad: See this picture of the Rolls Royce Phantom. This is what you should have bought.