classicJackets (FS) said:
My wife and I got married and became parents as COVID hit. We also had each just started new jobs, that became WFH. The friends we spent time with moved away in the years since. I don't know how to make new friends, or how to spend time away from my wife and children. Do I want to move? Maybe. Do I even want to make new friends? I wish I knew. But something feels like it's missing.
There is, as they say, a lot to unpack here.
We're in a similar situation. My wife and I became parents in the summer of 2019. We were never social butterflies anyway, and tend not to make friends easily, but the whole Covid shutdown kicked off just as the kid started walking. We have no family in the area and what was a comfortably introverted lifestyle became genuinely isolated, especially for my wife. I was able to continue working at the office, but she was almost a prisoner in her own home, a 24-hour slave to the kid, and it took a tremendous toll on her. It was tough on me as well since I became the only adult she could talk to for longer than it took to check out at the grocery store.
The good news is that things have started opening back up. Our boy has taken a few activity classes put on by the local parks and rec department and is now attending their preschool. It's done him a world of good and has also given Mrs. Monohue a few precious hours of autonomy four days a week. She can use that time to run errands or just enjoy not having to wrangle a 30-pound demon for a while. She has also made connections with other parents, set up play dates, etc., and those are as good for the parents as they are for the kids.
The other good news is that men reportedly make friends circumstantially. The suggestions others have made to join a group with similar interests make sense in that regard. If returning to the office for work is an option, even if only for a couple of days a week, it may help. Theoretically, I could WFH probably three days a week, but I would have a very hard time maintaining my sanity without regular, face-to-face interaction with the people with whom I work most closely. If you have an opportunity to attend play dates, birthday parties, etc., they might do you some good as well.
It's been a damned tough three years, that's for sure, and we'll be wiping this poop off our shoes for a long time to come. Hang in there.
EDIT: You said it feels like there is something missing. There definitely is. For us, what we missed most was freedom and grownup conversations. Thankfully, those are both coming back into our routines.
The other point I want to make before I forget is that it's really critical to check in with your wife and see what she needs. She's living in the same world as you are and is probably relying on you to make up the difference.
