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John Brown
John Brown SuperDork
12/18/08 2:48 p.m.

Margie > Ninja / Pirate

(John kisses ass for the beanie/mexican wrestling mask/snow removal conversation)

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 3:11 p.m.

Furthermore:

Air Force Combat Control, Pararescue the USAF USAF Special Forces:

Pirate or Ninja?

US Army Special Force (all of them, D-Boys, Rangers, Green Berets)

Pirate or Ninja?

USMC Force Recon, Marine Special Forces

Pirate or Ninja?

If you answered Pirate to any of them, then you need to explain how every US Military elite unit is match to robbery on the high seas. If you answered Ninja then the only aurgument you have for the SEALS is that they are Navy, becuase they train in the same skill set. Clandestine operations and stealth.

And if the only aurgument that you have that SEALS are Pirates is that they operate on water, then you have to admit Issac the Bartender, Hulk Hogan from Thunder in Paradise, and Don Johnson are all Pirates. In that case. Ninjas are better than Pirates.

If you concede that SEALS are modern Ninjas (becuase they are) then Ninjas are better than Pirates.

Hence, Ninjas are better than Pirates.

and yes, GRM Goddess Margie trumps all

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 3:20 p.m.
Mental wrote: You will come back to the fact that SEALS Operate to and from water. But we both know that a Pirate operates on the high seas. So by that very definition, SEALS are more than Pirates, and as everyone knows, Ninjas are more than Pirates. Hence SEALS = Ninjas, and that simply furthers the obvious conclusion that Ninja > Pirates.

"A > B because it is. Which further demonstrates why A > B."

Pirates don't just operate on the water. You also raid and pillage towns. Based at sea - pillage on land - return to sea.

I concede that I can see the Ninja in them. But I also see how they are Pirates.

Sounds to me like they're really Ninja-Pirates. Which is what you need to be in order to be more badass than a Ninja or a Pirate.

And if "everyone knows Ninjas as more than Pirates," how come not everyone on this board agrees with you? Because they're both cool. And if you fail to respect the coolness of a worthy adversary, you'll be quickly defeated by someone who can combine cool and cool into totally awesome.

PeteWW
PeteWW New Reader
12/18/08 3:21 p.m.
Salanis wrote: Inigo Montoya was given the mantel of Dread Pirate Roberts at the end of the story.

You're right, of course. In fact, i remembered it in my sleep last night. At least I think I was asleep; there's no way Jessica Alba would be visiting me otherwise.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 3:32 p.m.
Salanis wrote: Sounds to me like they're really Ninja-Pirates. Which is what you need to be in order to be more badass than a Ninja or a Pirate. And if "everyone knows Ninjas as more than Pirates," how come not everyone on this board agrees with you? Because they're both cool. And if you fail to respect the coolness of a worthy adversary, you'll be quickly defeated by someone who can combine cool and cool into totally awesome.

I can accept this, fore in this discussion my adversary is cool, and I can respect your coolness.

SEALS = Ninja Pirates.

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 3:37 p.m.
Mental wrote: Pirate or Ninja? If you answered Pirate to any of them, then you need to explain how every US Military elite unit is match to robbery on the high seas. If you answered Ninja then the only aurgument you have for the SEALS is that they are Navy, becuase they train in the same skill set. Clandestine operations and stealth.

I think what needs to be done is to define what is "Pirate" and what is "Ninja". Pirates are more than just robbery on the high seas. You're going to give such a limiting definition to one, you need to give an equally limiting definition to the other, like: "Assassination in Japan."

In which case, those special forces aren't Ninjas, because they rarely assassinate, or operate in/from Japan.

The Pirate philosophy is best summed up by the phrase: "Take what ye want! Give nothing back! Yarr!" And it exemplifies a life devoted to being awesome through chaos, debauchery, and fun.

Since you're in the Ninja camp, I'll leave it to you to come up with a similar definition of what "Ninja" is. And we'll use those definitions to decide what things are more Ninja or more Pirate.

And I don't know all of the people you pointed out but... Don Johnson is a great example of a pirate. So is Curt Russel. He was Captain Ron! And he rocked! Because he's a Pirate! Some people are just better better pirates than others.

"Pirate, Motherberkeleyer! Do you speak it?"

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 3:42 p.m.

Spartans were total Pirates. And we all know how well Ninjas faired against them:

Keith
Keith SuperDork
12/18/08 3:48 p.m.

I think what you're missing is that pirates are not stealth. Not at all. They're blatant and obvious and don't care who knows it. They have their own flag, for chrissakes. All this sneaking around with leaves on your head to blend into the woods - that's not pirate. Pirate is simply driving a tank through the woods directly to where you want to go. (again with the pirates and tanks, I'm fixated here)

And the motivation is purely internal. Pirates don't do something because they've been ordered to. They are nobody's henchmen. Ninjas are servants. Thus the SEALs are ninjas. They follow orders and they hide.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 3:53 p.m.

OK, now you're just making stuff up. (yeah I know given the context here, but still....)

Even by your definition of Pirates (which coresponds to nothing BTW) Spartans were not Pirates. They weren't Ninjas either.

You're just saying anyone who was a bada$$ is a Pirate becuase you believe Pirates are bada$$.

Salanis wrote: The Pirate philosophy is best summed up by the phrase: "Take what ye want! Give nothing back! Yarr!" And it exemplifies a life devoted to being awesome through chaos, debauchery, and fun.

Spartans were not into being awesome, chaos or debauchry. Heck they weren't even into fun. The were into being elite, desciplined and being Spartans. The awsome was never a goal, it was a byproduct (and I have to say, by your definition of Pirates, you have proven SEALS are in no way Pirates, even after I conceeded the Ninja Pirate piont)

They didn't "take" anything. They defended. And they were simply near the sea. Following your previous logic, they should at least have something to do with water.

Back to the discussion at hand, I will define Ninjas for the sake of this discussion from the on-line bible of Ninjadom www.realultimatepower.net

Hence; 1. Ninjas are mammals. 2. Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3. The purpose of the Ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Those guys fighting the Spartans were not Ninjas. They were just dressed similarly. For had they been real Ninjas, the universe would have exploded from the sheer awesomeness of the power at hand.

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 3:58 p.m.
Mental wrote: By your definition of Pirates (which coresponds to nothing BTW) Spartans were not Pirates. They weren't Ninjas either. You're just saying anyone who was a bada$$ is a Pirate becuase you belive Pirates are bada$$. They didn't "take" anything. They defended. And they were simply near the sea.

Okay, I'll buy that they weren't really either.

Although I can turn your statement back at you: "You're just saying anyone who was a bada$$ is a Ninja becuase you belive Ninjas are bada$$."

And they were very seagoing and fought lots of naval battles. They were the original marines.

But, yeah, they were too organized, structured, and un-fun to be Pirates. Maybe Vikings would be a better example of Pirates...

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 4:01 p.m.
Mental wrote: Back to the discussion at hand, I will define Ninjas for the sake of this discussion from the on-line bible of Ninjadom www.realultimatepower.net Hence; 1. Ninjas are mammals. 2. Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3. The purpose of the Ninja is to flip out and kill people.

You can come up with a way better definition than that.

Pirates are mammals too.

Ninjas aren't always fighting. Sometimes they're hiding, meditating, training, or infiltrating.

Aren't Ninjas supposed to remain too composed to flip out? Seems like flipping out is more of a Pirate thing.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 4:02 p.m.
Salanis wrote:
Mental wrote: By your definition of Pirates (which coresponds to nothing BTW) Spartans were not Pirates. They weren't Ninjas either. You're just saying anyone who was a bada$$ is a Pirate becuase you belive Pirates are bada$$. They didn't "take" anything. They defended. And they were simply near the sea.
Okay, I'll buy that they weren't really either. Although I can turn your statement back at you: "You're just saying anyone who was a bada$$ is a Ninja becuase you belive Ninjas are bada$$." And they were very seagoing and fought lots of naval battles. They were the original marines. But, yeah, they were too organized, structured, and un-fun to be Pirates. Maybe Vikings would be a better example of Pirates...

Yes, Vikings, definetly Pirates.

But I am not saying anyone who is bada$$ is a Ninja. In fact I have offered numerous examples of bad$$es who aren't Ninjas. So your attempt to reverse my piont has simply proven it, and made it stronger. Hence you have failed miserably, and by virute of your failure and Newton's first law, you have added to my original aurgeument. Ninjas are better than Pirates.

Ha.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 4:11 p.m.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 4:13 p.m.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 4:14 p.m.

aircooled
aircooled Dork
12/18/08 4:14 p.m.
Mental wrote: Spartans were not into being awesome, chaos or debauchry. Heck they weren't even into fun. The were into being elite, desciplined and being Spartans...

Apparently they were also into one more thing... Dudes!

That at least makes them some sort of pirate!

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 4:14 p.m.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 4:16 p.m.

All posted from Dr McNinja

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 4:19 p.m.
Salanis wrote:
Mental wrote: Back to the discussion at hand, I will define Ninjas for the sake of this discussion from the on-line bible of Ninjadom www.realultimatepower.net Hence; 1. Ninjas are mammals. 2. Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3. The purpose of the Ninja is to flip out and kill people.
You can come up with a way better definition than that. Pirates are mammals too. Ninjas aren't always fighting. Sometimes they're hiding, meditating, training, or infiltrating. Aren't Ninjas supposed to remain too composed to flip out? Seems like flipping out is more of a Pirate thing.

Again; www.realultimatepower.net

Ninjas are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, ninjas are very careful and precise.
Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 4:42 p.m.
Mental wrote: All posted from Dr McNinja

Hehehe... I do love that webcomic.

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo HalfDork
12/18/08 5:42 p.m.

I face this jury as a pirate, and hold that I have never turned my back on my bretheren. But here me when I say, "I shall not start any E36 M3 with ninjas unless it is absolutely berkeleying necessary. Savvy?"

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 5:43 p.m.
EastCoastMojo wrote: I face this jury as a pirate, and hold that I have never turned my back on my bretheren. But here me when I say, "I shall not start any E36 M3 with ninjas unless it is absolutely berkeleying necessary. Savvy?"

Aye matey! A Ninja be a fair fight fer a true pirate! And what true pirate wants ta fight fair?

ignorant
ignorant SuperDork
12/18/08 8:49 p.m.
Salanis wrote:
EastCoastMojo wrote: I face this jury as a pirate, and hold that I have never turned my back on my bretheren. But here me when I say, "I shall not start any E36 M3 with ninjas unless it is absolutely berkeleying necessary. Savvy?"
Aye matey! A Ninja be a fair fight fer a true pirate! And what true pirate wants ta fight fair?

ninjas don't fight fair.. youu'd be dead before you start your sentence..

ninjas don't need to be fiar.... they just need to win and be totally sweet doing it.

Duke
Duke Dork
12/19/08 6:21 a.m.

I'm telling you, lumberjack commandos > ninja pirates. Shave the beards and what do you get? SEALS, Rangers, and SAS.

John Brown
John Brown SuperDork
12/19/08 6:43 a.m.

From Newstados Unidos

Mexican wrestling service advisors > Ninjas > any woman who has given birth > Lumberjack Commandos > Pirates

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