the occupational therapy, the physical therapy, the expenses, the lack of being able to work, the exhaustion, the stress...
...and now I don't need to deal with it anymore. knocks on the biggest piece of Brazilian hardwood that I can find
Back on the 19th I had my 3rd round of test in 6 weeks, bloodwork, liver function, WBC and PET had all looked in the normal functioning range and clear in the previous pair. Early results the beginning of last week were in line enough to suspend treatment pending the return on some remaining blookwork results, which checked out. So 421 days after diagnosis I've been green lighted and given the all clear cancer free go get back to living life.
It's made for a strange week as early Saturday morning I lost a good friend and local SCCA volunteer, Stan, to lung cancer. I wouldn't have been able to survive this journey or my previous battle, without his support and perspective. He was the most selfless man that I've ever known a retired Naval submariner and while he wasn't a GRM'er he was active in volunteering in Pit Out, Tech, flagging and communications for the local Solo I, HPDE and MARRS series with the WDCR SCCA, also working LeMons and PCA events. He also had enough fix it where with all and basic engineering knowledge to be dangerous. In GRM style he had a red 2 dr accent that he received in exchange for repairing a neighbor's air conditioning unit. He fixed the fuel pump, which just needed the relay replaced, got some spare wheels, upgraded the pads and brake lines, welded in a rollhoop and strarted doing HPDEs in it. He called it his Rat Racer and like so many of us, he loved that silly little econobox turned race car. It was as fun and eager as he was, though quite a bit more agile. Both were an immense laugh. Stan and his rat racer embody so much of what we love about trackdays and motorsport. It's great fun being around those having fun. Services for him are tomorrow and I haven't gone more than a few hours with dry eyes since Saturday, it's going to be rough. A large part of me feels that if he lived 45 mile east of where he did, that he'd be here laughing with us today.
I have a lot of rebuilding to do in my own life. Gone are my savings, replaced with a respectable mountain of debt. Gone is the career that I loved, replaced with several stonewalls while interviewing before having received the bill of good health and my favorite, the response of, I'm sorry, but we've decided that we're just not going to fill the position at this time. Thankfully I still have my family and now I once again have my health, though with greatly reduced physical abilities and the requirement of 6-8 of therapy a week, most of which requires use of a pool.
I've had a lot of time to think about what I'd like to do once I'm able to again. Professionally it's funny, I'd like to go somewhere and contribute. It sounds so basic that it almost seems silly, but I've struggled to manage to wash a load of laundry or do a sink full of dishes for over the past year, often requiring a break to complete such a basic second nature task. In the past I've done marketing, sponsorship negotiations and deliverables, manage race series points systems, press releases, working with scrutineers and stewards to determine cause of metal to metal incidents involving multiple cars and producing the reports of such, social media content, accounts payable and receivable, bookkeeping and prior to that worked in various automotive capacities in the dealership network and independent aftermarket ranging from parts, back counter and wholesale, inside aftermarket sales, office manager and bookkeeping and service advising. I enjoyed the order of bookkeeping and managing an office, not as much as the motorsports series management, but that opportunity isn't likely to present itself again. I could be interested in learning how to physically produce something. To have a quantifiable value to a company. Though in my physical state, that could prove difficult.
Something that I'd like to do beyond my full time position is I'd like to establish a 501c3 the purpose of which would be multifaceted. First would be to raise awareness of the need and importance of regular doctor's visits and cancer screenings. I lucked out, in a big way. My cancer was discovered due to an abnormal liver enzyme level result as part of routine pre-op bloodwork for an orthopedic surgery. I was 100% asymptomatic at the time of diagnosis. The motorsports community, and particularly the grassroots DIY end of the spectrum that would rather handle and address issues ourselves, is primarily male and makes some of the absolute worst portion of the population about seeking medical attention when it's needed. Heck we seem to get a thread about every 6 weeks or so in here inquiring whether or not someone should seek medical attention. The answer is always yes. That's like when a non car friend calls you to diagnose an issue with their vehicle over the phone, hold the phone closer to the car please, I can't quite make out the issue. Everyone is aware of cancer and has been directly touched by it's presence through the death of a friend or loved one. It needs no additional awareness. Yet a large percentage of us still don't perform their due diligence regarding their own basic medical care. It's inexcusable. In doing so you're doing a disservice to your friends, families and yourselves. Don't defer maintenance on your body.
The second goal would be to raise funds for the families of those battling and those who have succumb to cancer within the motorsports community. Assisting the funding of Mike Smith's daughter Carley's education comes to mind. It's paramount that we assist the families of our friends who are no longer able to support those whom they loved.
How would this be accomplished? Well, I'm working on coming up with a catchy name, nothing that will involve the phrase "for a cure" as it's asinine to utilize those words when efforts are funding awareness and not research. Not that it doesn't mean the cause isn't a good one, after all this is going to be an awareness based group, but awareness is preventative in nature, not a cure. Once the name is selected and registered decals and shirts will be produced. Possibly hats and hoodies. Suggestions and audience participation in development of this is encouraged.
Additionally I'd like to the preparation and maintenance of a low level, low cost vehicle to be campaigned sporting livery of the organization. Think a challenge car, with safety equipment installed allowing it to compete in hillclimbs, autocross, rallycross and solo1/timetrials. Basically everything that isn't wheel to wheel. The vehicle would serve as a display piece and we would work with event organizers at autocrosses and rallycrosses to arrange for a time window of fun runs where participants could run the car on the course in exchange for a donation amount. We'd also work with vendors in supplying small prizes to those with the fastest times during the fun run portion of the event in the car. The car could travel if members had a tight group of events clustered within a certain region and if those with the ability to tow it were willing.
I can't thank the members of this forum enough for their support, both on and all the forums, and for being quite the collective group of ears during times when I've struggled to stay a float. I've learned through this in more ways than one, that if you can just manage to stay a float that you can wait until you're rested and feeling well enough again to start swimming. I'm itching to start swimming.
Without a doubt I know you have the determination and fortitude to make this plan a reality - you've already demonstrated that to us multiple times over the last year+. Major congratulations!!!!
