Time to have "the talk"....

I think it’s about time to have “that talk” with my 9-year old boy. I have NO idea how far it should go or anything. My parents didn’t have the talk with me at all. I learned everything from friends, late-night skinemax movies and Victoria’s Secret catalogs.
I suppose I’ll start off with the basics (what ever those are) and let his questions drive it from there. I’m sure he’s not going to be full of questions he’s willing to ask, so, with a 9-year old, how far should it go? Should I cover how babies are made, porn (and the dangers that lie there), or tell him that girls are even more expensive, troublesome, and enjoyable than a well set-up race car?

http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/off-topic-discussion/so-anybody-here-want-to-give-me-advice-on-giving-the-talk/39308/page1/

Same convo only 2 weeks ago :p

Haha, no way. Thanks for the linkey.

9yr old boys think anything to do with the hootus and/or girl parts is hilarious. Keep it light and have fun with it. They don't need the same level of detail as say a 12yr old will and the questions won't be nearly as uncomfortable (unless there is an older brother around, in that case he will be filled with wrong answers).

Anything needing to be learned can be found in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.. good luck

Not sure why age is relevant... I'd just ask him if he knows where babies come from and play the rest by ear. You might be shocked by how much he knows already.

Said it in three other convo, but:

"I don't want grandkids."

Throw a duffelbag of condoms at him.

ReverendDexter wrote: Not sure why age is relevant... I'd just ask him if he knows where babies come from and play the rest by ear. You might be shocked by how much he knows already.

Because 12yr olds know where babies come from and are actively thinking about how they might attempt a few practice runs. They are quite possibly using a bit more tissue paper than the average household member and a Victoria's Secret catalog they pulled out of the mail in the process. 9yr olds just got over Pokemon, may possibly still think the tooth fairy is real and could not give a E36 M3 about girls... they are just looking for some insight as to the mechanics of the thing (and will giggle like fools when you tell them).

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote:

ReverendDexter wrote: Not sure why age is relevant... I'd just ask him if he knows where babies come from and play the rest by ear. You might be shocked by how much he knows already.

Because 12yr olds know where babies come from and are actively thinking about how they might attempt a few practice runs. They are quite possibly using a bit more tissue paper than the average household member and a Victoria's Secret catalog they pulled out of the mail in the process. 9yr olds just got over Pokemon, may possibly still think the tooth fairy is real and could not give a E36 M3 about girls... they are just looking for some insight as to the mechanics of the thing (and will giggle like fools when you tell them).

I can clearly recall that when I was about 8 or 9 years old the mystery was frequently on my mind. When I was about 5 I kept bugging my mom for explanations until she gave up most of the secrets. The clincher came when I was on vacation and a man brought a female chihuahua over for my aunt's stud to service. My aunt was having a fit for me to come back to the house so I wouldn't see the process but I tried to ignore her. My uncle came to my defense saying, "ah leave the boy alone". Soon, the last piece of the puzzle was in place. I couldn't wait until I got home and informed a friend my age that I had solved the mystery completely.

I have a question. Were you really not interested in girls until age 12 or was it that you just didn't know how to relate to them? For me, it was definitely the later. I can still remember girls that I had a crush on from age 5 on.

Graefin10 wrote: I have a question. Were you really not interested in girls until age 12 or was it that you just didn't know how to relate to them? For me, it was definitely the later. I can still remember girls that I had a crush on from age 5 on.

I guess there were 4th grade crushes... maybe around 10yrs old or so. They were much more innocent than 6th grade crushes.

I had an older cousin who filled in all of the details for me by stealing his fathers Swedish erotic collection when I was in about 3rd grade. I went home and asked my mother about it and she damn near beat the daylights out of me. I still don't know all the answers... but I'm pretty sure an ass-whoopin' isn't supposed to be part of that talk.

GrantMLS wrote: Anything needing to be learned can be found in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.. good luck

Best advice EVAR!

When I was in second grade, my best friend was in fourth grade, smoked cigarettes, got in all sorts of trouble, and introduced me to my first dirty mag. Just think, your son may have such great influences himself! I have never smoked a cigarette to this day.

I think he's more interested in the mechanics of it. The reason I decided to have the talk was because my wife saw him reading a chapter of a book, intended for pre-teens I think. It was mostly about changes your body goes through. Well, when he saw that my wife noticed, he quickly closed the book and covered it up.
I don't want shame ever associated with his desire for knowledge and understanding. So, it's time for the first phase of the talk. I think I will open with "Do you know where babies come from?" and progress from there. I will cover changes that he will be experiencing soon. I actually have heard a slight change in his voice over the last few weeks. He's 9, so it's not the Peter Brady stuff.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: I still don't know all the answers... but I'm pretty sure an ass-whoopin' isn't supposed to be part of that talk.

It is if you pay extra.

Pretty surprised by the wide range of ages for The Talk. I was fairly young - 2nd or 3rd grade maybe, for The Talk, phase 1.

DILYSI Dave wrote: Pretty surprised by the wide range of ages for The Talk. I was fairly young - 2nd or 3rd grade maybe, for The Talk, phase 1.

I was about 7 or 8. Out of the blue, dad grabbed one of our little hand-launch gliders and invited me outside to throw it around. He never threw it, though. When we got out in the middle of the field, he said to me:

"Duke, there is something boys and girls do, and it's fun, and it makes babies. Your sister did it. Now you're going to be an uncle."

That's the sum total of "the talk" I got from my parents... there was no Phase 2.

Above all else: Never go into battle without a helmet on your soldier.

Never got the talk truthfully. Still trying to figure things out. Hold on, Wifey is calling me...

DrBoost wrote: I think he's more interested in the mechanics of it. The reason I decided to have the talk was because my wife saw him reading a chapter of a book, intended for pre-teens I think. It was mostly about changes your body goes through. Well, when he saw that my wife noticed, he quickly closed the book and covered it up. I don't want shame ever associated with his desire for knowledge and understanding. So, it's time for the first phase of the talk. I think I will open with "Do you know where babies come from?" and progress from there. I will cover changes that he will be experiencing soon. I actually have heard a slight change in his voice over the last few weeks. He's 9, so it's not the Peter Brady stuff.

Mine did something similar at that age. When we finally talked about it he said that he thought something was wrong with him and felt better to find out it was normal. Your son may be less curious about whee babies come from and more about what his body is doing. Just keep that in mind.

-Rob

rob_lewis wrote:

DrBoost wrote: I think he's more interested in the mechanics of it. The reason I decided to have the talk was because my wife saw him reading a chapter of a book, intended for pre-teens I think. It was mostly about changes your body goes through. Well, when he saw that my wife noticed, he quickly closed the book and covered it up. I don't want shame ever associated with his desire for knowledge and understanding. So, it's time for the first phase of the talk. I think I will open with "Do you know where babies come from?" and progress from there. I will cover changes that he will be experiencing soon. I actually have heard a slight change in his voice over the last few weeks. He's 9, so it's not the Peter Brady stuff.

Mine did something similar at that age. When we finally talked about it he said that he thought something was wrong with him and felt better to find out it was normal. Your son may be less curious about whee babies come from and more about what his body is doing. Just keep that in mind. -Rob

Yeah, I think you're right. We watch a lot of nature documentaries and when there is a pair of animals doing what animals do he laughs. I can tell he doesn't know what's going on.

I never got "the talk". My parent were older and encouraged us to ask questions about anything. We lived out in the country with several farms around so we saw a lot of "reproductive activities". When we saw something we asked about it and got answers.

DrBoost wrote: I think he's more interested in the mechanics of it. The reason I decided to have the talk was because my wife saw him reading a chapter of a book, intended for pre-teens I think. It was mostly about changes your body goes through. Well, when he saw that my wife noticed, he quickly closed the book and covered it up.

Since he has read the book I would suggest that you start by asking if he has any questions about what he read. Make sure you read it first!

Just keep it open and honest, I think I got phase one of the talk at 4-5 becuase there was a baby sister coming and it was time to explain the changes about to happen to mommy and the family in general. Phase two just progressed from there, was probably farily well informed by age ten and over informed by age 12 thanks to pooling info with my friends.

I never got the talk. Nor did my sister. I just asked my GF and she didn't either.

Here we have sex-ed every year from 4th grade (ish) on.

I never got it. He'll learn more from his friends than he will from you. I just want my kids to say "please", "thank you" and sit up straight when they're at the table. If they've got that down, sex, treating partners respectfully, etc, will be easy. The mechanics are just science. It's the art of it that you can only learn through practice. And doing just about the opposite of anything that you see in a video.

Teh E36 M3 wrote: And doing just about the opposite of anything that you see in a video.

BLASPHEMY!