Damage control

The fight is not going to be about the car or the money or anything like that.

It's going to be about the fact that this purchase was discussed prior, she leaves town and you did it anyway. It's not about why she didn't want it to happen it's the fact that she didn't and you did it anyway.

Again, I say good luck, we're pulling for you.

I'm not as lucky as a guy who's found a girl that's into cars..but I'm a lot luckier than most. Mine's so happy that she's found a man who doesn't care about American Football that she pretty much lets the car stuff go (as long as I don't do something financially stupid).

Maybe you'll get lucky and her grandparents had one once.

Zomby Woof wrote:

the significant other pretty clearly told me not to

If you don't nip this in the bud sooner than later, you're in for either a miserable long term existence, or a short term marriage.

QFT.

But I need to clarify.

The truth I see is not that she is not into cars, or trying to boss you around.

You lied to her. You betrayed a trust.

I'm not trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, but you better be honest with yourself before you even THINK of trying to talk to her.

If you think this is about cars, or money, or "man urges", you are kidding yourself. Nay, you are lying to yourself.

I have bought cars without telling my wife, and had to ask her forgiveness. Forgiveness for HIDING something from her. But I have never done something against her expressed desires and contrary to what we had already talked about and agreed to.

Deal with what you have done honestly now.

How would you feel if she did something you had made clear you were strongly opposed to? Betrayed, right?

You are on shakey ground.

My take, 22 years in - get what you want and be willing to fight about it.

I spent too many years trying to keep SWMBO happy at my own expense, and after a while a lot of resentment builds up.

If your wife is the type who's willing to bend your way now and again, you'll be able to work around it.

I'm not advocating doing something that keeps you from making the house payment or buying groceries, by all means be responsible.

But this almost sounds like "a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still" - i.e. you weren't entirely sold on what you and the wife discussed....

It's a cool 50 yr old car but the damage to the trust of your relationship because you went explicitly against her will is going to last a long long time. I am not really sure what I would do in your situation but before you do anything recognize potentially how bad you messed up and be real humble about it.

And for yourself I would think real hard about why you did it anyway. To her what you are saying is doing what you want was more important than her or your relationship.

B430 wrote: It's not a financial hardship, no bills will be going unpaid because I bought it. I agree communication is best, she's out of town right now, there's a bit of a breakdown there at the moment. I guess I'll just explain to her my logic, I can make more money at work, but no one is making 1962 falcons anymore.

the " we " agreed that I wouldn't .... pretty much takes care of any argument you might put forth ..... the fact that she's out of town and you've "gone behind her back" just digs your hole that much deeper .... the lying/trust thing is going to be hard to undo/regain ... you've got your work cut out for yourself and buying her things to make up for this probably isn't a very good idea

I don't envy you the road you've appear to have chosen

How quickly could you resell the Falcon? Then at least you could say "look I berkley'd up and I knew it as soon as I did it, so I got rid of it" even better if you could sell it to an aquaintance with the option of buying it from them later

B430 wrote: I gave into my car guy needs and bought something the significant other pretty clearly told me not to. She doesn't know yet, how do I minimize the conflict that will occur when she finds out? Or do I just hide it indefinitely? I am now the proud owner of a 1962 ford falcon futura coupe :-) straight 6, 3 speed column shift, in pretty decent shape for being 50 years old. Can't wait to drive it home tomorrow. So I know a lot of you have been in the same boat, what did you do?

Wow. Some of these posts are bizarro. To the "sensitive" guy who went on about "breaking a trust..." , grow a set. Let's see. You

B430 wrote: I am now the proud owner of a 1962 ford falcon futura coupe :-) straight 6, 3 speed column shift, in pretty decent shape for being 50 years old. Can't wait to drive it home tomorrow.

Diving into deep caca for that particular car is inexplicable. A great sports car might be worth risking things for, but you have a death wish, my friend. It's been nice knowing you.....

So, B430, I assume wifey has found out by now! How much trouble are you in?

dculberson wrote: So, B430, I assume wifey has found out by now! How much trouble are you in?

Probably was banned from GRM by his wife due to us enabling him to purchase the vehicle. LOL

You never should have let her tell you "no" in the first place. That said, you should tell her that you bought it anyway because you wanted it. I don't see how some people live with having to constantly appease a spouse.

Follow the advice of a wise man: Homer Simpson.

For Marge's 34th birthday, he took her to the Singing Sirloin and handed her a present: a bowling ball with "Homer" engraved into the surface. When she objected, Homer replied:

Fine, I'll keep it then!

I can't imagine doing something that my wife was so vocally against. I also can't imagine my wife being so vocally against something as dumb as dragging home another POS. Hell - the mustang project I just bought, she's the one who told me to quit playing what-if, and to just buy the damn thing.

Actually she hasn't found out yet, we were out of town for 4 days. I'm just going to wait till I sell my truck and tell her I traded, I already told her I was trying to trade it for something old.

To wspohn: a great sportscar would have easily been over 10x the price. I only paid $1400 for it. I think that would have gotten me in more trouble.

Been having a lot of fun driving around town in it too, gets a lot of comments from people.

Dude, you haven't told her, your plan is to lie about it, and you are driving it around town letting people see it??

What have you been drinking?

I'm not too concerned about being seen, it's a big city, not like a small town where everyone know everyone.

The fire does get hotter the longer it burns. Especially if you keep adding fuel to it.

So, where you keeping it? Can't be home or she would have figured it out.

Not sure what everyone is so concerned about, if $1400 is the difference between his kids eating and not I could see it; but he said it wasn't. No big deal, post pics.