Bad neighbors

For the past five years we've had these neighbors. They're somewhere in their early 40's, have three kids, and are utterly obnoxious. Long story short, they're loud. Their kids play music we can hear on the other side of our house, him and his wife argue outside at top volume, their dogs never stop barking, their youngest son threatens ours when they're outside playing, their kids poke at our dogs through the fence, their son likes to poke around our cars when they're parked out front, and when they lock their cars the horns beep. That last one wouldn't be a problem except he literally beeps the horns 5-10 times EVERY time he exits the cars. These problems are exacerbated by the facts their driveway is 5 feet from our bedroom window and their fenceline where the dogs bark is 10 feet from our window and 5 feet from our 2 year old sons'.

What chiefly concerns me is the beeping and dogs at night. I have myself, my pregnant wife, and a toddler all trying to get a good nights sleep. Last night, after his dogs had been barking for half an hour at 1130pm and we were trying to sleep, I was pissed. After he got home and honked his horn 5 times I'd had enough. I wasn't trying to be a dick, I was just going to ask him to not abandon his dogs outside at night and cut down on the horn honking.

It didn't go well. After he greeted me with an annoyed "What?" I asked him to let his dogs in and stop honking his horn 500 times because we were trying to sleep. I probably could have asked nicer but I didn't swear, call him names, or do anything else to piss him off. He went ballistic. During a break in his profanity laden tirade I told him it's simple, if the noise doesn't stop I start calling the police. More profanity ensued. A couple minutes later a police car (not called by us) parked in front of his house and sat for a few minutes before rolling down the street.

Since I was dealing with someone with the mentality of a five year old and and whom was obviously not going to be rational, I typed up a letter to leave in his door with the problems we've had and the noise codes they violate. Stupid yes, but I wanted to exhaust all avenues before having to annoy the police with petty noise issues.

When I went to put the note in his door he was standing in the driveway by the back of his house all creepy like. At that point he started going off about me not having the balls to talk to him. It went so well before why wouldn't I try again? I once again informed him that all we wanted was some quiet while we sleep. In between profanity laden insults he went on about my loud cars and some conspiracy theory about me parking too close to his driveway when we park on the street. He also complained about our dogs, who are outside a combined 15 minutes a day and don't bark unless their dogs are out. I also haven't owned a noisy car in a long time.

After that he sits outside in a chair until the cops, who he once again called, show up. I hear him going on about how I was the one who started hurling insults and making a scene. The police come to talk to me and, having better things to do, simply explain that nothing will get resolved while arguing and the noise they make, while annoying, isn't technically illegal. They say dogs need to be outside 2-3 hours before anything useful can be done. They leave go talk to him again while I go inside and go to bed.

We're not the only ones that take issue. If needed, I could get statements from everyone else in the immediate are saying how loud and obnoxious they are. I know we aren't overly noisy, we really just keep to ourselves as we just want to be left alone. The noisy car issue is long past, our dogs don't bark enough for it to be an issue, and I can't imagine anything else they could take issue with.

So what can we do? I'm going to look into the noise ordinances some more and see if I've got some room to work with but what else? Talking like adults is beyond him. I'm really at my wits end and would love a more quiet sleeping environment by the time our next child is born in July. Anyone have advice for dealing with this like adults or am I reduced to juvenile revenge and 3" mufflerless exhaust on the Volvo.

Sorry for the long read!

The way I see it you have two basic choices...

1) Plot the demise of your neighbor and his entire brood
2) Move

Possibly both.

In the meantime you can amuse yourself by continuing to escalate the feud. Send your dogs to the pound for a couple days. Get a dog whistle and hook it to your air compressor. Enjoy.

Moving is on the docket but we're underwater on our mortgage right now. We're working on it but it's slow going. If anyone has advice on moving while underwater I would love to hear it.

I have been eying stop bark devices.

We have some obnoxious, clueless, selfish neighbors too, but I think yours are worse. As mentioned above, you don't have a lot of options. Moving is the only real solution, and even then, who knows what you'll get for neighbors in the new place?

As hard as it will be, I think trying to make peace is going to be your most productive avenue. Maybe carry a cold beer over there one Saturday afternoon and have a talk? Hell, I don't know.

Call the cops every time. That is what they are for. Speak rationally and calmly to both the police and your neighbor. Be a model citizen in other words. No loud parties (preferably none, proly not hard to do with a pregnant wife) keep all your cars registered an quietly exhausted, dont work on them late at night, etc. The cops can and will find an issue with the neighbor. Eventually they will get tired of dealing with the neighbor and act accordingly be it tickets and fines and or court ordered counselling. I have been where you are and the above worked.

In reply to PubBurgers:

This is why I have 3.5 acres and a house right in the middle of it. No neighbor worries.

+1 on Porksboy.

I'm not a cop, but am in law enforcement, and the last thing we want to do is deal with the same person day after day. After the fifth time, the police will make sure the problem stops. With your neighbours infinite maturity level, maybe you should be thinking about a nice DVR CCTV system.

Best of luck.

We don't have to try hard to be model citizens. A pregnant wife and myself on blood thinners doesn't lend well to partying. Not that we did before all that. Honestly aside from the loud cars in the past I can't think of anything we do or did that might be considered offensive in any way.

Even then our other neighbors, who are right on our driveway, never said a word. Maybe because I apologized for the noise and they're rational people I'm on good speaking terms with.

If he comes over here and wants to talk like a normal person I'm more than willing, I'm not gonna try to start that conversation again though.

Remember, if it comes to court, only the guy with proof wins. Record, videotape, even keep a written log of their infractions. This will go a long way towards proving to an officer or a judge your story.

Your neighbor is crazy. Be careful and good luck. Most communities have nusiance dog laws and it doesn't take a 2 hour period to complain. The advice to document is valid. The goober has already tried to get the jump on you by calling john law first.

I have neighbors on one side that never do anything in their yard. They are really wierd. The other day, my wfe called me at work in shock. Some folks had shown up at their house and cleaned at all their flower beds, removed some others, removed dead trees etal.

The neighbors on the other side moved to SC from CT a couple of years ago. First day I talked with the lady (and she is HOT!!), she told me how much she hated when her former neighbor used his pressure washer all the time. Strangely, I had been pressure washing a couple of days earlier. They do little in their yard and the husband doesn't even know how to cut the grass. They are nice though, so i can cope with them. Last Christmas, they bought the sons a new mini-bike with a loud muffler. They ride it constantly throguht their back yard and between our houses through their fron yard, and sometimes mine. I'm afraid this is going to end up causing a conversation with them. I know it won't go as badly as your though.

spitfirebill wrote: First day I talked with the lady (and she is HOT!!), she told me how much she hated when her former neighbor used his pressure washer all the time. Strangely, I had been pressure washing a couple of days earlier.

Try having a conversation where you mention how much you hate it when your wife rides her mini bike between the houses.

My neighbor ran into my house. Just posted on it.

Make a diary of the incidents for a couple of weeks and sue the neighbor for nuisance in small claims court. If you get a few other neighbors involved you can have one neighbor sue then two weeks later have another sue, etc. Make the joker show up to court or you'll get a judgement against them. Hit them in the pocket book. Be sure you mention to the other neighbors that this is going to impact the resale value of their property and they won't be able to sell without disclosing these nuisance neighbors.

There are options for the dog but this seems to be an animal lover forum. I wonder if you could buy/make a noise generator and put a signal out to shut the thing up.

bad neighbors are fun... in Panama city 2 houses down we had a family with some punk kids (like 2nd or 3rd grade)... they would throw rocks at cars, steal fruit from peoples trees in the yard and throw it at houses... when you talk to their mom she'd insist her kids could never do something like that... they started hopping fences in back yards and stealing little things (a box of screws land left a trail to their house with the screws sitting on the table in their back yard)

at some point slashed tires started happening around the hood and keyed cars... (my-in-laws lived next to us and they lived in the same duplex as those kids)... my father-in-law picked up a CCTV system and cought the kid slashing a tire... apparently it wasn't clear enough so the cops didn't do anything but tell the family they where being watched.

though this time a number of the people in the neighborhood just started ringing the landlord every time they had a problem with the family... they ended up moving overnight not to long after.

In reply to donalson:

That's where my HD camcorder and gilly suit come in handy.... Imagine explaining that to a cop.

I may have missed it, but do you live in a subdivision and have a covenant( ie bylaws)? If so, just report them to the Homeowners Comittee. Everytime something happens. And like everyone said, document and have as much proof as possible. Between the PoPo and The Homeowners something positive should get done.

I hate bad neighbors......

I'd check into the noise ordinance. In my small town, it's 5 minutes of constant barking or 30 minutes of intermittent barking is the limit. Anything more than that can be a fine. Any sort of "loudspeaker system", which includes car stereo systems and home stereo systems, can not be any louder than "normal talking levels" at the property line. While subjective, "normal talking levels" is usually something like 60dB, which isn't very loud at all. There may also be laws against horn honking and sensitive alarms, like there are in my town.

Like has been pointed out, keep a diary. Make some video recordings, too. Make sure the recordings are clear. Have some real fun.

If all else fails, http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/b278/

When my dad was about 30 we had a neighbor who chained up his hounds between our houses. They bayed for hrs. every night. Finally it was too much. My dad got dressed, got his rifle and billfold and went next door. He beat on the door until the man came to answer the persistent knock. When he opened the door there stood my diad with his rifle in one hand and his billfold in the other. My dad said, "______, I've come to buy your dogs". I'm not exactly sure how the rest of the conversation went but the man at least moved the dogs to the other side of his house.

Let me be clear, I don't recommend that course of action in the year 2011 with that particular neighbor. Your family and your unborn child needs you too much.

It really does appear that everyone lives in different worlds. If they're too far apart, there's no way to communicate with each other. The only real solution for bad neighbors is, as suggested above, the right sized parcel of land with a house right in the middle. I've lived that way for much of my life and had either German Shepherds or Great Danes on the property. All the other houses around where I lived were burglarized but not mine.

Graefin10 wrote: When my dad was about 30 we had a neighbor who chained up his hounds between our houses. They bayed for hrs. every night. Finally it was too much. My dad got dressed, got his rifle and billfold and went next door. He beat on the door until the man came to answer the persistent knock. When he opened the door there stood my diad with his rifle in one hand and his billfold in the other. My dad said, "______, I've come to buy your dogs". I'm not exactly sure how the rest of the conversation went but the man at least moved the dogs to the other side of his house.

This is a GREAT story.

Do they own the house or rent? If they rent, call the owner.

At our previous house, the couple across the street and one house over would leave their dog out for hours, barking at the door. Fortunately, the dogs that lived in the homes on both sides of them were quiet when "Buddy" would go off. I called, anonymously, and asked if they would please please please do something about the barking or I would notify the authorities. "We're trying" was the response I got. For three days it was quiet, as they weren't letting him out for extended periods.

Finally, on the first warm Spring day, we had the windows and froint door open. Mrs. RMD was doing some studying in the living room when Buddy was let out. after 20 minutes of constant barking, she had had enough. She got up, walked out the front door and across the street to Buddy's house. I watched from the front porch and other neighbors were outside, enjoying the nice weather and noticed her going to Buddy's house, surmising what she was up to. Buddy's owner answered he door, she asked him politely, without profanity, to take his dog in the house, as she was trying to study. He lit off with a "Kiss my ass" in his tirade. I hollered across the street not to talk to my wife that way. "Why don't you call the cops, then!" was Buddy's owners response.

So, I did. Some other neighbors came out to what the comotion was all about (I can be a bit... thunderous when I holler). Officer shows up, we - three other neighbors, too - tell her our story about the barking dog, the profanity, etc. She went to the house, talked to the owner for several minutes and came back to tell us he recieved a citation.

We never heard or saw Buddy again.

Derick Freese wrote: If all else fails, http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/b278/

Those only work in close, quiet areas. Like in The Boy's messy, crammed-full-of-junk car with a busted timing belt and a dead battery when he's waiting for a tow-truck. I tossed it in, just be fore I left him. Five minutes later, I got a call, You berkleyer, where is it?

""

benzbaron wrote: Make a diary of the incidents for a couple of weeks and sue the neighbor for nuisance in small claims court. If you get a few other neighbors involved you can have one neighbor sue then two weeks later have another sue, etc. Make the joker show up to court or you'll get a judgement against them.

I believe this can work. I remember a story in San Francisco about a former lawyer who went kinda nuts. She started suing her neighbors for everything. They all ended up moving away. Now, that's not what you're doing, obviously, but the point is, she knew how to do it and she did it... a lot. And the story was, what she was doing was totally legal.

Like they say, you can sue anyone for anything. If it's worth the trouble to you, you really can make things hard on him, even if you don't win the cases.

I tend to be very vicious when dealing with that kind of stuff. I have managed to shut up several dogs. Daisy does a pretty good job. I don't think I'll offer any other suggestions.

Frozen paint balls teach a non permanent lesson

I would look up the noise ordinance. What the officer said seems incorrect.