Here's my entry: "I know what I have" - translation, I've heard some guy on the internet got a price slightly lower than what I'm asking. Sure "that guy" was selling a low mile, one owner, rarely optioned collector grade example of the rusted out, 200,000 mile, base model (in black) that I'm trying to sell, but I'm sure prices have skyrocketed in the last 2 weeks.
Craigslist isn't nearly as much fun as it used to be. 
"Just needs a (insert random $5 part)": Motor locked up, transmission left trail of parts 1 mile long.
"Lost title" = I borrowed money and never paid it back.
"Missing title" = Technically it still belongs to my ex-girlfriend's ex-husband.
"No title" = I stole it.
"Can get title" = Can't get title.
"You can get title from MVD" = No, actually you can't. Really.
"Will provide Bill of Sale" = That won't help.
Just needs a tune up = Dead cylinder.
Needs a thermostat = Head gasket
Needs transmission"adjusted" = Trans is burnt to a crisp because I forgot to add three quarts of trans fluid every day.
Jaguar with a V8 supercharger, "just needs a starter" = Piston snapped off the rod and part of it is stuck in the supercharger 
In reply to bludroptop:
Thanks, that list helped me properly interpret this: No, I don't own it. But I'm selling it anyways!
My favorite is always when it runs and drives great ten times in the add, then the last line is "wont start"
If the ad says anything about the title that isn't the phrase "clean title in my name", I immediately hit the "back" button. Maybe I've missed out on some bargains over the years, but I am not willing to berk with getting a title cleared.
Excellent condition but needs some work???
AC needs recharge: compressor is seized
Tires 50/: bald tires
Interior needs detail: 4 kids have been raised in back seat and it was never cleaned, smell of rancid milk will never be able to be removed
Rust free = the rust hasn't formed tennis ball sizes holes yet.
Minor rust = football sizes rust holes with at least one in a major structural component.
Some rust = bring a broom and a shovel to get it home.
super rare=no one wanted them new.
Do not contact me via email= You know you are posting on the internet? do you want to sell it?
Contact me on my phone only= They won't pick up or call you back
Contact me via text only= Recently I have ran into some texting spam with folks like this
Do not lowball me I know what I have= I don't want to sell it
Since I live up North I know that everything is rusted to hell.
If someone lists the item for $1, be ready for a ridiculous price in the summary.
Price is firm = someone PLEASE make me an offer, I want to dump this car, but I don't want you to think I'm desperate.
Klayfish wrote: Price is firm = someone PLEASE make me an offer, I want to dump this car, but I don't want you to think I'm desperate.
the price is firm people are the people who give me the best deals.
"Built" = this car was owned by a pre-adult with more money than sense. Car is guaranteed to fail you in a spectacular fashion shortly after purchase
The one thing ive never understood is when people say "it has some rust, but thats normal for this model". Does that make the rust better?
Another thing is when they point out a problem with the car and make sure to tell you that its from a previous owner. Like i give a berkeley that it was somebody else that knocked the mirror off.
Heres a definition to keep the thread alive
"For sell"= I am at a second grade reading level. Come on out to the trailer park and check out my car which ive never had a title for. My pit bull will be running loose when you get here but dont worry, he probably wont bother you.
Fueled by Caffeine wrote: "Built" = this car was owned by a pre-adult with more money than sense. Car is guaranteed to fail you in a spectacular fashion shortly after purchase
"Built"= every single wire on the car either has a scotch lock or has been cut. Most of the car is currently held together with drywall screws.
"needs a clutch"= 100% chance the owner vapes.
gearheadmb wrote:Fueled by Caffeine wrote: "Built" = this car was owned by a pre-adult with more money than sense. Car is guaranteed to fail you in a spectacular fashion shortly after purchase"Built"= every single wire on the car either has a scotch lock or has been cut. Most of the car is currently held together with drywall screws.
I always feel like drywall screws are a death sentence for a car. It's the physical equivalent to when a person says "I'm going to get the rust fixed eventually". No. No you are not.
Dr. Hess wrote: "Just needs a (insert random $5 part)": Motor locked up, transmission left trail of parts 1 mile long.
I hate that! If all it needed was a 5 dollar part to be perfect, fix that stupid part and list the car as perfect! But we all know the truth...
"Rat rod" = Even the glass is rusty.
Wheels alone are worth $1500 = I put $1500 wheels on a $500 car and now I want $4000 for it.
This one might be a bit of a local one.
Selling due to pending deployment = Planning on an epic bender before I get sent overseas.
has a cobb tuner=avoid
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