Crowd-sourcing a bucket list

...of sorts, anyway.

I have this friend who's having trouble seeing the forest for the trees. I want to put together a list of the little, day-to-day, easy-to-take-for-granted things that one could find joy in.

For screwballs like GRMers, things like "finding that 10mm socket", "the purr of a well-tuned engine", or "finally no CEL". I'm looking for a "normal people" list.

For reference, my friend is female, 25 years old, has a decent-paying job (but really long work hours), has a car, a dog, and a horse. She's athletic and enjoys being social (she fills up most of her spare time either playing sports or hanging out with friends). She's single, fairly attractive, and (normally) very enjoyable to be around. No, not posting pictures.

List should be stuff she can do with a limited amount of time (2 hours or less) and limited financial expense ($20 or less). If she can take the dog and/or the horse, all the better.

1. Bake a loaf of bread.

2. Plant some seeds and start a veggie garden in the spring.

3. Find some place to donate her time even if it's for only 2 hours, one night a week.

4. Get on match.com and find someone (I did 3 years ago yesterday; now I'm married and our son is 3 months old!)

Ok, let me get this straight... single, athletic, attractive, social 25yr old woman with good enough income to afford a horse. You are asking us what she could be doing to amuse herself when not hanging with friends or competing in sporting events?

Maybe you should get her to give us some advice.

In reply to Giant Purple Snorklewacker:

Again, can't see the forest for the trees. I know. Try telling that to her, though.

Some people simply don't get pleasure from the little things in life.

What's the problem? Does she long for greener pastures or a more exciting life? It's possible she isn't interested in dating because all of the potential mates are boring types who won't ever leave the place they grew up. She may long for a dude who will sweep her off her feet and take her to Taiti.

She has a horse so apparently feels some level of passion for riding. Does she have people to share her passion with?

I like driving but enjoy autocross days so much more because it's a shared experience.

Second vote for the garden as well

JohnInKansas wrote: In reply to Giant Purple Snorklewacker: Again, can't see the forest for the trees. I know. Try telling that to her, though.

Ok, then... athletic cool stuff:

• rock climbing
• hang gliding
• mountain biking
• road biking
• motorcycling
• kayaking
• camping (ride the horse!)

Ways to burn free time (mutually exclusive):
- have a baby
- read lots of books
- meth

You're not asking for a bucket list. You're asking for hobbies that don't take any effort or time.

I enjoy homebrewing. It's a rewarding hobby and if you don't go overboard it can keep the cost down. Wine making is similar and less time per day.

Ride the horse? Walk the dog?

I wish I had time to play sports or hang out with friends.

I don't think you are looking for a list of stuff to do. I think you are dealing with a person who has trouble being content.

What is her biggest complaint? Your list looks quite complete. What is she feeling incomplete about? Dating? Work? Wrong horse?

I applaud your effort to try to give her some positive stuff, but it would help to know what she is discontent about. Does she need to change her friends, hang out somewhere new, or seek medical help for chronic depression? The answer will be different depending in the problem.

How about 30 yards of JohnInKansas six inches at a time

disclaimer this thread went too many posts without at least one dick joke so I apolgise... but it was time.

Get into Geocaching

Is she in accounting?

68TR250 wrote: Get into Geocaching

This. I miss it, fun and you don't even realize you're exercising.

Dumb comment removed.

In reply to PHeller:

I think you make a lot of assumptions about older people, many of which are very wrong.

We were mostly idealistic too, one day.

I spent my time bike riding across the country, living in foreign countries, protesting the war, fighting for environmental causes, living out of a backpack, participating in the feminist movement and civil rights movement, living non-committal, chasing sex, drugs, and rock and roll wearing nothing but a pair of Birkenstocks, doing what I wanted.

These things are still very much a part of me, but I grew up.

You will too.

In reply to PHeller:

You are not describing the over 50 generation. We didn't sacrifice for stability. That was our grandparents.

We INVENTED peace, love, and Granola Bars.

Ok Ok, you old farts are ornary (haha funny jab not serious).

Despite doing all that stuff, the older generations like to tell the younger generations not to do it or that we're making a mistake if we do choose that for ourselves.

I always feel pressure from those born in the decades before mine that I'm somehow an oddity in my desire to sacrifice my career in favor of living someplace enjoyable. I'm not the only person at my age (notice I didn't say generation) that feels this way. I think many of my peers wish they would've done more crazy/stupid stuff while they were in college and post-college, instead we were rushing into careers, trying to pay off debt, and attempting to catch up to our parents as quickly as possible. I've read many stories of folks my age who worked for 10 years out of college only to quit a lucrative career to work on a farm in Montana.

I feel like older generations did that in reverse.

In reply to PHeller:

Irony. I often feel like I hear a lot of criticism from you.

Maybe some of them are just trying to share some life experiences that they think you will benefit from. Maybe you need a little thicker skin.

I told my daughter to climb Machu Picchu last year, and sent my son to Iceland. I agreed with the wisdom of his decision to drop out of college with only 1 class left. Etc. Etc.

Bottom line, there are people in the world with more life experience than you have. I try to seek out those people when I need advice, even if I disagree with them.

In reply to SVreX:

I think maybe you take my generalizations personally.

You are not like many people of your generation. You're a pretty awesome dude, like many on this board, and I'd be happy to have a beer or whatever is the agreed upon conversational enhancement.

What I'm saying is that I think many people of my generation are caught between parents or elders who say "get a job, buy a house, have kids, make something of yourself!" We attempt to do those things and quickly find ourselves feeling like missed we out on something, or that we rushed down a path we weren't sure we really wanted in the first place.

You've taught your kids to take their own path. My parents taught me the same thing, but I honestly can't remember anyone ever telling me "you need to travel, see the world, live someplace else for awhile." I always was being told "get a good job you enjoy, no matter what kind of work it is."

Maybe this is because while most of my friends were in college, studying abroad, living states away; I was working full time. Years later, when they were all graduating, I was going back to school. While they were enjoying paid vacation days and good salaries, I was struggling to find a job. Now I've got the job and I feel like I've missed something along the way. Like I was trying too hard to catch up.

All I'm saying is that perhaps this young woman is experiencing something similar. Content with her life, but unsure if a radical change is necessary or not, and maybe not a lot of support for such a change.

Well, I have ALSO told my kids to get a job, buy a house, and have kids.

People hear what they want to hear. Just don't sell an entire generation short with generalizations.

On the flipside my grandparents have always been one for adventure. They can't understand why I'm still in Pennsylvania. I've told them that I stay because they are here. They say I should move so they have an excuse to leave.

Here's the thing...

50-60 year olds spent their childhood and formative years in the shadow of the Vietnam war. It marks virtually every memory I have. It was on every television and radio station, no matter where you went.

Some chose to be responsible from that experience. Most did not. We chose pot, and free love, and a bit of recklessness in response to the fear we felt from the images and ideas we saw daily. Most of us kick against authority, because it represented a war we did not understand, and totally disagreed with.

We (shamefully) spat on veterans when they returned.

At the same time, we watched the civil rights movement unfold, police sic dogs and firehoses on black citizens, bombings, and we ushered in the feminist movement, abortion rights, and untold other monumental changes.

There was no way to avoid being effected deeply.

There is not a modern day equivalent.

Tell her that arguing on the Internet can provides hours of time-wasteage and for low low cost.

PHeller wrote: In reply to SVreX: What I'm saying is that I think many people of my generation are caught between parents or elders who say "get a job, buy a house, have kids, make something of yourself!" We attempt to do those things and quickly find ourselves feeling like missed we out on something, or that we rushed down a path we weren't sure we really wanted in the first place.

What the berkeley are you doing listening to your parents? Almost everybody of my generation left home at the first possible moment, and lived with friends eating the 80's equivalent of Ramen noodles. My generation has made life too comfortable for our kids. No rules, no reason to move out. If I wanted to drink beer, or berkeley the cute little blonde from down the street, or roll a fattie, I had to goddam well hide it. That's the way its supposed to be. Now we are supposed to drive across town to pick up our kids because they had a beer and don't want to drive home. I learned to drive with a hand over one eye so I didn't have to choose which road to drive on. Nobody learns how dangerous E36 M3 is without having a friend die from it. And don't feed me that whiner line about how things are different. The only difference is the $500 per month for cell phone, cable tv and online gaming. Gas that E36 M3, then survive on $4.25 per hour, like I did.

Sorry, I've had a couple. Even so, I say get off my lawn.