Did I faux pas?

A buddy is having a Christmas party. His parties are generally full of friends and co-workers. The age range of folks there will be 35-50. There will be much drinking and merriment. The party will be held from 9pm-1am.

He posts the party on Facebook. Another pal chimes in that he will be bringing his wife and son. Said son is 3 months old.

Now, I don't prefer the company of infants, and certainly not at adult drinking parties. So I asked my pal if Xxxx was really bringing his infant son to this party. He told me he was.

I said, "Thanks, but I'll pass." He's well aware that I don't care for children in general and infants in particular.

Now my buddy is bent that I'm not going.

WTF did I do wrong??

You put your desire to not be around small children over desire to hang with him. I'd be annoyed, too.

Get over it, go have a good time, and stop worrying about someone else's minions. A 3 month old isn't very interactive yet, and the parents will probably want to bail early-ish anyways.

In reply to bluej:

Yeah, a 3-month old isn't going to run around screaming and being a nuisance. It's going to spend most of the time asleep in its car carrier. It will get some attention from the hens and it will need to be fed and changed at some point. That's probably when the parents will bail.

Go and have a good time.

Eat a snickers, go have a good time at the party.

That situation is interesting - most of my friends basically stopped hanging out with people who didn't also have a kid or kids of similar age because suddenly their lives basically revolved around this little person in their care. Your friend is trying to avoid that.

I'd be happy that your buddy is going and you'll get to hang out some, and I'm also not a big fan of being around little kids. The alternative, in my experience, is that he would slowly become just another person you know through facebook but never see.

People are weird that way. Congrats on knowing what you want, saying what you want, and acting according to your wants. Don't worry about people who can't our won't say what they mean, but who expect you to figure it out anyway.

Most infants at parties zonk out with the noise of a party. It almost magical, way better than a car ride or pacing with a bouncing baby. At least in my experience.

If you are of the age that all of your friends are having kids, you may end up with no one to hang out with.

By the time we were in our 30s, all the parties had kids at them. Our annual New Year's party now has as many of the next generation as it did our generation. Most of them are in their late teens and 20s now. It keeps us young, or at the minimum keeps us up till midnight.

Also just go and get over yourself. If the baby is screaming, the parents will probably want to bail before others even have chance to be annoyed, i know thats how we operate; notice the baby struggling and bounce.

Wait till the pal with the kid finds out why you didn't come.

BTW 3 month olds spend most of their time sleeping. The old clucking hens will be doting on him whenever he isn't.

Go, get drunk, and puke on the kid. When the parents get mad tell them they knew the risks of an adult party.

The more people at the party, the less issuse it will be. Just migrate a room or 2 away and you'll never notice.

I'm the only one of my friends that doesn't have kids. Sadly i see my friends less often now, but never pass up a chance when it comes around, kids or not. They aren't my problem so I don't stress about it.

I always felt like E36 M3 dragging my kid along to stuff. But I also felt like E36 M3 asking doe a sitter. I dont go to adult parties to play with kids. I quit going out of respect for others.

MDJeepGuy wrote: Go, get drunk, and puke on the kid. When the parents get mad tell them they knew the risks of an adult party.

Also, the kid will very likely puke on someone first. Although it's cuter when you call it "spitting up"

Saying you hate that a baby will be there so much that you're not going is kind of a dick move. Refusing to hold the baby is fine. Going to another room because the baby is crying is fine. Cheering when the baby finally leaves is probably ok. Saying "berkeley all you guys, I'm not going" is E36 M3ty.

In reply to mazdeuce:

Taking a baby to an adult party is a dick move.

MDJeepGuy wrote: In reply to mazdeuce: Taking a baby to an adult party is a dick move.

No, staying with a screaming, inconsolable baby is a dick move. Having a sleeping baby in your arms while laughing at full volume is fun for all.

Keith Tanner wrote:

MDJeepGuy wrote: Go, get drunk, and puke on the kid. When the parents get mad tell them they knew the risks of an adult party.

Also, the kid will very likely puke on someone first. Although it's cuter when you call it "spitting up"

I drank a lot and spit up the other night. It was not cute.

Color me crazy but I kinda figured after you have a baby you(at least temporarily) forfeit late night adult parties w/drinking and whatnot so you can, you know, be a conscientious responsible parent & take care of your infant?

To me that exhibits poor judgement & misplaced priorities and sounds like the increasingly prominent mentality of the newer generation of smug breeders that think since their world revolves around this new endlessly screaming, pooping, & vomiting lifeform then everyone else's should too.

So shame on you for for deciding to do/not do something based on your own personal feelings about placing yourself in a given scenario that does not cater to the wants of some selfish ballbags. Sounds like an anti-baby micro-aggression on your part, you faux pas committing brute.

no idea about the OPs question, but who takes a baby to a 9pm-1am party?

In reply to impulsive:

-1 you sound more like a smug entitled person worried about micro aggressions. Seriously people life doesn't end when you have kids and you were a kid once and if there were no kids the world would have no humans left. So why the hate? A 3 month old out at 9pm is barely different from one out at 9am. They don't have a circadian rhythm yet.

"Adult party" since when? More like "human party." Relax, stop taking yourself so seriously, and go enjoy the company of fellow humans.

Adult party since the OP called it an "Adult drinking party" in the first post. If said 3 month old is the only kid, it's an adult party. The OP decided he didn't want to be around a baby, so he passed on the party. Suddenly he's an ass for not liking kids, but the guy bringing a baby gets a pass? Why? If you don't like dogs, but I insist on bringing my dog and telling you to "deal with it" who is the Dick?

What seems to happen is the one night a patent takes an infant to a party and gets a little buzz on the cute sleeping baby will get home to a quiet home and immediately wake up and start crying making said parents lives miserable as they were probably hoping to get out and for one night pretend they are single again and then go home and pretend they are single again. However baby will more than likely ruin there plans.

So go to the party and enjoy knowing that there is a very high probability that the couple with the kid is in for a not so fun night.

Rufledt wrote: no idea about the OPs question, but who takes a baby to a 9pm-1am party?

+1 to this. My son and DIL plan "family" parties (meaning with their children and with other parents and children) for afternoon or maybe very early evening. If the hours for this adult party are 9:00 pm to whenever, then a 3-month old infant doesn't belong there. And neither do the parents! They have a newborn. They have new responsibilities. Their "adult party" days are over for a while. Time for them to face the realities of life. This shouldn't even be a faux pas question on the part of the OP. The parents of the newborn should be exercising some adult new-parent common sense and staying home.

In reply to MDJeepGuy: Is it his party? Did his buddy throwing the party say adults only?