Getting out of depression?

I'm 2 years sober because of depression related struggles. 

Sobriety plus exercise and healthy endorphin boosters (snowboarding, legal HDPEs, sports) are what keep me sane. 

My depression (dysthymia) manifests primarily as insecurity,  to the point where I will pretend to not know stuff, or stop working on projects because I have begun to doubt myself. 

Sharing my own struggles in hopes it helps somebody.. I'm always open to talk if anybody needs an ear. Sometimes just making an interpersonal connection is all it takes.

I'm very much appreciative of what y'all have shared. Thank you. You've given me a variety of things to think about and try.

There is counseling available to me through the school district; I'll be calling them tomorrow to set something up.

Try to keep in mind, as hard is it may be, when you're in the darkness of depression, your brain is lying to you.  Things are in all likelihood, nowhere near as bad as they seem in this moment.

Best wishes to you all.

Something that was on my mind last night, thinking about this: The title of this thread may be misleading. Or it is a result of the "wrong" way of thinking about this. 

Depression is an illness. Replace depression with MS or Mononucleosis. "Getting out of MS" or "Getting out of Mononucleosis" doesn't make much sense (well, getting out of Mississippi probably makes a lot of sense ). You either beat it and get over it, or you learn to live with it. More often than not with depression, it is learn to live with it, via treatment. 

This isn't intended to be a soapbox sermon here, but the implication that you "get out of it" may be a harmful thought process. You're not "in" depression. You have depression. It isn't about strength or willpower. 

jharry3 said:

I found inner peace by adopting this attitude:  "I usually can't control what is happening around me, I can only control my reaction to it".   

Its one of those Stoic attitudes from Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.  

And one wise person told me that depression is repressed rage.    If you have unresolved anger you just can't forgive, and are powerless to change, your body reacts with depression.   "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us".   

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.  You don't have to ever trust the person who wronged you, but if you hold on to the anger and depression you are letting them live rent free in your head.

 

I like that. It reminds of something my grandfather used to say, which I only know through my dad since my grandfather made a decision to leave this mortal coil when I was very young. 

"If there isn't a solution, there isn't a problem." It doesn't make sense at first, but it does once you think about it for a minute. 

Depression/anexity are often hitting me at the same time. "Fake it" seems my only defense some days, I carefully read this thread looking for ideas. I want to get some help but don't quite know where to start. Throwing a dart at the phone book doesn't seem like the best choice. Of course no insurance so cost is an issue.

Strangely enough, the whole "eat right and exercise" routine really makes things worse for me.

In reply to Gearheadotaku (Forum Supporter) :

There are a number of online options you could try without a big financial commitment. I found THIS comparison article which I think gives a great breakdown of some of your options. While online sessions may not be ideal, it does START the conversation and can provide the outside perspective that is most helpful. I'm actually using an out of network counselor right now because she is the first provider I have ever really felt a connection with. The money spent has reduced my random FBM purchases, but is that really a bad thing?

Gearheadotaku (Forum Supporter) said:

Depression/anexity are often hitting me at the same time. "Fake it" seems my only defense some days, I carefully read this thread looking for ideas. I want to get some help but don't quite know where to start. Throwing a dart at the phone book doesn't seem like the best choice. Of course no insurance so cost is an issue.

Strangely enough, the whole "eat right and exercise" routine really makes things worse for me.

Jeff-lets try and arrange a holiday get together with the Detroit area gang.  I could use that for sure.

In life, there will be suffering.

It's about -how- you suffer.

ShawnG said:

In life, there will be suffering.

It's about -how- you suffer.

Well that's the crux of the issue. It's not always easy for some of us to deal with it in a positive, healthy way. 

In reply to z31maniac :

YEP. the tinnitus doesn't help the depression either. Add in being sick, the wife being sick, winter weather etc... 

z31maniac said:

ShawnG said:

In life, there will be suffering.

It's about -how- you suffer.

Well that's the crux of the issue. It's not always easy for some of us to deal with it in a positive, healthy way. 

The hard part for me is accepting that I'm not the only one not dealing with it in a healthy way. 

Social media and advertising don't help either because of the "look how awesome everyone elses life is!" stuff.

ShawnG said:

z31maniac said:

ShawnG said:

In life, there will be suffering.

It's about -how- you suffer.

Well that's the crux of the issue. It's not always easy for some of us to deal with it in a positive, healthy way. 

The hard part for me is accepting that I'm not the only one not dealing with it in a healthy way. 

Social media and advertising don't help either because of the "look how awesome everyone elses life is!" stuff.

The more someone is actively trying to tell you how wonderful their life is, the harder they're actually trying to convince themselves of it. If they're posting a bunch of mess on social media, they're probably barely holding it together.

In reply to Beer Baron :

What about awful jokes and really dark humour?

Asking for a friend...

I know I am suffering from low level depression just because of what's happening out there. Covid is still around. The price of everything is going up and my standard of living is going down. I am getting older and dealing with death is a possibility now. My muscles hurt more and I can't do as much as I used to. People around me and even people on this board in my age group are passing on. Where I live things are getting more crowded and more expensive everywhere you look. Traffic is insane. Rent and housing prices are crazy. People pushing in at the border trying to grab a piece of what little there is left. Times are just depressing.

There just isn't a whole lot of good news out there.

ShawnG said:

In reply to Beer Baron :

What about awful jokes and really dark humour?

Asking for a friend...

Wait... like... I think that describes more people on this forum than "wears cargo shorts".

Snowdoggie (Forum Supporter) said:

I know I am suffering from low level depression just because of what's happening out there. Covid is still around. The price of everything is going up and my standard of living is going down. I am getting older and dealing with death is a possibility now. My muscles hurt more and I can't do as much as I used to. People around me and even people on this board in my age group are passing on. Where I live things are getting more crowded and more expensive everywhere you look. Traffic is insane. Rent and housing prices are crazy. People pushing in at the border trying to grab a piece of what little there is left. Times are just depressing.

There just isn't a whole lot of good news out there.

I agree. 

When you can't change the situation, find a way to take advantage of it.

Granted I don't know how....

ShawnG said:

In reply to Beer Baron :

What about awful jokes and really dark humour?

Asking for a friend...

I love dark humor. I don't share a lot of stuff I find funny because some might try to put me in an asylum.

ShawnG said:

z31maniac said:

ShawnG said:

In life, there will be suffering.

It's about -how- you suffer.

Well that's the crux of the issue. It's not always easy for some of us to deal with it in a positive, healthy way. 

The hard part for me is accepting that I'm not the only one not dealing with it in a healthy way. 

Social media and advertising don't help either because of the "look how awesome everyone elses life is!" stuff.

Completely understand that.

It's just proof that something in the wiring is off on a chemical level. I suspect most, who if they looked at my life from the outside, would say, "What do you possibly have to be depressed about?"

And I recognize that I've got it pretty good, but there is always that nagging feeling that messes with me.

Beer Baron said:

ShawnG said:

In reply to Beer Baron :

What about awful jokes and really dark humour?

Asking for a friend...

Wait... like... I think that describes more people on this forum than "wears cargo shorts".

I now have a referral for some bloodwork to see if it's a just a chemical thing.

Fresh air, therapy is my go to

Cool to see this bumped.

But no, Joe, if it were that easy, I'd have been all sunshine and lollipops years ago.  And I am FAR from insecure; that's not my problem.

I did meet with a Psychotherapist last month, at the recommendation of my new Family Doctor, and I begin PTSD therapy late this month.  Bet you didn't see that coming.

Wondered how it was going when I saw this thread come back up.  Sounds like there's been some productive developments.

Best of luck going forward, Skinny.

Started my PTSD therapy - I'll document it on this more relevant thread: 

Learn me treatment, therapies and resources for PTSD (GRM)