How to handle this: Kid "disciplined" at school

For and I quote:

"Heard about what another students birthday treat was and started telling her secret"

and

"jumped out and scared another student as she walked into classroom after recess"

Personally, I find this to be the most absurd thing ever related to school discipline. My son is seven and we are quite strict parents (7:30 bedtimes, don't allow cursing or words such as stupid, sucks, and hate, homework before play etc).

But this? The girl told her entire group what the treat was, he was just repeating it. Jumped out and scared another student? uhmmm....what 7 year old boy wouldn't. I'm sure I did the same at that age. His twin sister and all their friends have done the same, just not with the school sending disciplinary notes home.

I'm ranting, but this is not the first time we've had issues with this teacher and the administration of the building. From what I've heard, other parents have had similar issues. We have a choice of three elementary schools and are now considering switching for the next year.

If it wasn't for the tuition, we'd have all the kids back in parochial school with a teacher/student ratio of 1 to 6.

What was the diciplinary action?

I have a 7yo boy who does similar stuff. Seeing him in action around the house and I feel for his teachers. Disrupting class and not following directions effects the whole classroom environment. Doesn't seem like the teachers were out of bounds for wanting some sort of discipline.

Conquest351 wrote: What was the diciplinary action?

A write up and requesting our presence. He also received one for throwing a snowball earlier this year.

Still bullE36 M3.

@cone junky.... repeating something that was publicly said? and not offensive?

I will be the first to say spank my kid if he hit someone, swore, etc. This sounds like it was more on recess times.

Maybe I'm over reacting.

Shotgun

Grtechguy wrote: For and I quote: "Heard about what another students birthday treat was and started telling her secret" and "jumped out and scared another student as she walked into classroom after recess"

I read these violations as, "was being a E36 M3. He knew it and I (the teacher) knew it."
Not really PC for the teacher to write that directly so you get a weak excuse of a PC comment.
Is it in fact possible that he could have been acting the E36 M3?
Are you in favor of helping the teacher curb that behavior if possible?

I do not think that the teacher thinks you are bad or un-strict parents. Quite to the contrary, if you visit the school with the kid present, the kid will see that the teacher does have rule making authority during the day in addition to the rule making authority that you have all the time.
Life lesson for Jr; there are multiple masters who have to be pleased here in life.

Just call the principal and chew them the berkeley out.......kids are kids, draconian and selective enforcement of "rules" is something that shouldn't happen.

Sounds like the boy has severe ADHD - like SEVERE severe.

WOW

Fill him full of pills...

Sometimes you just get a teacher that has her panties in a wad. My nephew had one of those teachers last year. She just wasn't realistic about how a 8yo should behave. She had previously been a HS teacher for 10+ years. After a meeting with the principle about it, she explained to her son that the teacher was mean and the best way to deal with her was to behave the way she wanted. It wasn't a fun year for anyone involved, including the teacher, but they got through it.

If he's only been in trouble thee times since the beginning of the school year over minor stuff, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I'm not worried about, just rolling my eyes. I'd understand it more if he punched a kid or was swearing.

Egad, they won't even let kids be kids anymore. Everything's got to be "documented" like some moronic corporate hell hole. We got a notice three weeks ago that if Logan missed another day without a doctor's excuse (which he gets for his cancer follow-ups, but not for head colds..since after paying for the MRI, we can't afford to take him to a doc for a sniffle), he'd get some sort of mark against his record. Yeah, maybe next time we'll just send him anyway, so that he can get everyone else sick. Brilliant planning.

Worst one was when my own daughter was 11-12yrs. or so. When I went to pick her up at afterschool, she was "in isolation" with three teachers and an Assistant Principal. "Danger to other students", or some such. I asked her what it was about. She had actually been crushing on a boy, he'd hung out with her all day to make the girl he liked jealous. He finally got the other girl's attention, and told my daughter, "..you got played!" as he and the other girl walked away. She had slapped the berkeley out of him after he said it.

The staff were surprised. They hadn't investigated the situation, they didn't even care about the situation, they just saw a kid hit another kid, and freaked out. Long story short, after the details came to light, they were well aware of my anger, the "charges" were dropped, and she got brick oven pizza instead of a stinking Happy Meal afterwards.

I'm biased,. I don't have kids, and I have taught high school. (now teach college.) With that in mind:

Toyman01 wrote: the best way to deal with her was to behave the way she wanted.

This seems reasonable to me.

Getting through life is a lot easier if you make the people around you happy. If want to be left alone, don't annoy or disrupt people. That's true of teachers, neighbors, coworkers. "出る釘は打たれる" Sure, nobody likes that, but it's it still true.

...and no, that's not all situations. It's just a decent rule of thumb for most situations. Yes, I do realize that there are times where the right thing to stand out and stand up for your rights. Example: FGC's daughter did the right thing. The people fighting against racial segregation in the 1960s did the right thing.

A kid who is mad because teaching is interrupting his social/recreational plans...no. They're not being harmed when they're told to stop screwing around and start paying attention. Heck, if the kid fools around and doesn't learn the material, many parents will be up in arms, complaining about how the teacher doesn't control the classroom, how little johnny isn't learning anything......

friedgreencorrado wrote: Egad, they won't even let kids be kids anymore. Everything's got to be "documented" like some moronic corporate hell hole... Yeah, maybe next time we'll just send him anyway, so that he can get everyone else sick. Brilliant planning.

That is exactly what I would do if the school is really being that obstinate; send him in and then have him go the nurses office first period. Who knows, he might even get a few free cough drops, but only if you signed the waiver

friedgreencorrado wrote: Egad, they won't even let kids be kids anymore. Everything's got to be "documented" like some moronic corporate hell hole.

They are just getting them ready to be office drones in the future. Best to crush their spirits now before they know any better.

friedgreencorrado wrote: Worst one was when my own daughter was 11-12yrs. or so. When I went to pick her up at afterschool, she was "in isolation" with three teachers and an Assistant Principal. "Danger to other students", or some such. I asked her what it was about. She had actually been crushing on a boy, he'd hung out with her all day to make the girl *he* liked jealous. He finally got the other girl's attention, and told my daughter, "..you got played!" as he and the other girl walked away. She had slapped the berkeley out of him after he said it. The staff were surprised. They hadn't investigated the situation, they didn't even *care* about the situation, they just saw a kid hit another kid, and freaked out. Long story short, after the details came to light, they were well aware of my anger, the "charges" were dropped, and she got brick oven pizza instead of a stinking Happy Meal afterwards.

Good for your daughter. Nobody should have to take that kind of E36 M3

If the teachet wants to have a parent conference, there is probably a legitimate reason. Having been a teacher, you dont have impromptu conferences for the fun of it. Wait to see what she has to say. Know that your kid is not telling you the full story.

Also this is maximum stress season for teachers. Be patient.

Grtechguy wrote:

Conquest351 wrote: What was the diciplinary action?

A write up and requesting our presence. He also received one for throwing a snowball earlier this year. Still bullE36 M3. @cone junky.... repeating something that was publicly said? and not offensive? I will be the first to say spank my kid if he hit someone, swore, etc. This sounds like it was more on recess times. Maybe I'm over reacting.

My only advice is that when it comes to students in school it is better to look inward than the make excuses for a 7 year old. No offense to you. At a certain point parents need to understand that a 7 year old is not always well behaved and the teacher is not out to get anyone much less your child.

I never meant to blindside individual teachers. I'm fully aware of the problems they have these days. Apologies for my "get off my lawn!" reaction. Lo actually doesn't have any homework this week. Why? Those stupid standardized tests are this Friday, and they don't want any new information confusing the kids when they have to regurgitate the "right" answers at the end of the week. I wonder if that's what set me off when I saw Grtechguy's post. (and BTW, dude..apologies for hijacking your thread. I just got mad when I saw what's happening to your kid, because I'd seen it before)

I'm just mad, guys. I thought that respecting/understanding an individual (even if they're still a child) was supposed to part & parcel of our society. I'm so tired of this current concept that a school has to be run like a stinking corporation. Teachers counting "metrics" so that (alleged) progress can be placed on paper, instead of in a child's mind. And yeah, I know many teachers agree with me. Here's hoping this link is relevant:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2013/04/06/teachers-resignation-letter-my-profession-no-longer-exists/

In reply to friedgreencorrado:

The teachers hate those tests even more than you do.

In reply to Beer Baron:

I understand. That's why I was apologizing for my previous knee-jerk reaction. I had forgotten that my own sister was standing with my niece's teachers in this thing..

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2013/03/13/the-day-some-seattle-teachers-said-no-to-standardized-tests/

friedgreencorrado wrote: I'm just mad, guys.

I understand that. It's cool. What I'm about to say is not directed towards you, your daughter, or anybody else connected to this forum.

friedgreencorrado wrote: I thought that respecting/understanding an individual (even if they're still a child) was supposed to part & parcel of our society.

I totally agree with that. Teachers can't dismiss students as though their opinions don't matter. I also think it cuts both ways. Kids need to have respect and understanding for their teachers, too.

My issue is that kids seem to think they are being picked on when they are asked to pay attention. When a teacher says to stop screwing around with your phone and texting people, they're not picking on the kid. The teacher is trying to make sure that kids understand the subject.

JoeyM wrote:

friedgreencorrado wrote: I'm just mad, guys.

I understand that. It's cool. What I'm about to say is not directed towards you, your daughter, or anybody else connected to this forum.

friedgreencorrado wrote: I thought that respecting/understanding an individual (even if they're still a child) was supposed to part & parcel of our society.

I totally agree with that. Teachers can't dismiss students as though their opinions don't matter. I also think it cuts both ways. Kids need to have respect and understanding for their teachers, too. My issue is that kids seem to think they are being picked on when they are asked to pay attention. When a teacher says to stop screwing around with your phone and texting people, they're not picking on the kid. The teacher is trying to make sure that kids understand the subject.

Most certainly agreed. I'm just alarmed at the procedures used when a kid won't behave. Seems like there's a process that must be observed whether or not the misbehavior is during class time, or at recess. I'm sure you've heard a zillion folks like me say "Zero Tolerance is Zero Thinking"..

EDIT: I should have said "bureaucratic" procedures...

go in there and tell them that kids will be kids and that you aren't going to do anything to punish the kid for being a kid other than maybe a trip to DQ for his favorite ice cream cone..

of course, i don't have any kids and came from a time when the principal had a ping pong paddle in his office that he knew how to use- and after he used it i went home to a dad that had a belt that he knew how to use- so my advice might not apply in this modern age of expelling kids because they chew a pop tart into the shape of a gun...

You could always burn the scho....errr, I mean forest down.......

I remember getting in trouble for "swearing" at school once. In reality I was speaking German.

novaderrik wrote: go in there and tell them that kids will be kids and that you aren't going to do anything to punish the kid for being a kid other than maybe a trip to DQ for his favorite ice cream cone..

I think it would be better to support the school and the teacher. Why set up a power struggle where the rules become confusing to a 7 year old? If his behaviour has warranted a call home, it is likely that the teacher needs your help to get him onside. You may think it is bs, but if you have 20 or more 7 year olds "being kids" when they need to be "being kids in school to learn" things can get out of hand really quickly.

I was a high school VP for ten years. An on-side parent or guardian makes a huge difference. My best example? I suspended a student for a drug-related offence (weed). In our district, that was a five day suspension. Grandpa, who looked after the boy, had him move the woodpile each day of suspension, until it returned to its original spot on the fifth day. Never had a problem again, because the student knew that "the outhouse was next . . ."