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infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/21/21 1:35 p.m.

I've been doing a lot of reading on the best things I can do to set my son up for success in life, and I got to thinking about being a foreign exchange student.  The Wife and I both have agreed that we're going to teach him a second language from birth (still need to decide on which language, probably something European) and I was thinking what a dream opportunity if he could spend 11th grade or whatever in France or Germany or Sweden or somewhere.  However, I know next to nothing about the foreign exchange program other than it's probably expensive.  Is this a rich kid's game only?  I've read I would have to pay the host family a monthly stipend - one site said roughly $1500/month, although that was to become a student in America I think.  

Can anyone give me some info on this?  Is it a realistic goal/dream?  

And in terms of language, every site I've checked has said French, German, and Mandarin are the best languages to teach a child.  I was a linguist in the Army for 12 years so I'm fine with languages.  Mandarin would be very difficult so The Wife and I are trying to decide between French and German.  She likes German because she took some in high school and remembers a bit.  I like French since Canada is very close and we could take little family vacations up to Montreal and get some real world practice (and visit an amazing city).  Anyone have any thoughts on that?

captdownshift (Forum Supporter)
captdownshift (Forum Supporter) UltimaDork
4/21/21 2:08 p.m.

Language wise, Mandarin and Spanish, because that's what business is done in outside if English. Unless you want him to work for the FIA or Michelin, then French. 

 

I have a friend who's originally from outside of Toronto who is an English teacher in Taiwan and enjoys it. That's another option, immersion at a young age is the most effective way to learn a second language. I took 6 years of French and still know more Filipino then French from having Filipino neighbors in the flat next to my parents until I was 4. 

 

Regardless of the route taken, the ensuring that other cultures and perspectives are experienced will be as benefitual knowing the additional language. 

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/21/21 2:23 p.m.

In reply to captdownshift (Forum Supporter) :

I saw a few sites recommend Spanish but they mostly centered on Mandarin, French, and German.  I know Germany is a big economic and STEM center in Europe.  My selection of language is based on how much the languages are used in business as well as our options to use them - which is why I like French, as I'm very close to Canada.

I got to live in South Korea for a year and briefly went to Kyunghee University and loved the experience.  I have a lot of great memories from that - nothing really special, just the awesomeness of living in a foreign country and eating lots of great street food.  I really want Avi to have an experience like that (but as a civilian).

z31maniac
z31maniac MegaDork
4/21/21 2:29 p.m.

If you think he will stay in the US, no question it's Spanish. 

Everyone in Europe in the business world, hell the entire world for that matter, speaks English.

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/21/21 2:33 p.m.

There's still our dream of moving to Canada - if we rented, it's a very realistic dream.  That would also require French, as Montreal would be the ultimate goal.  Problem is, I hate apartments and would want a house.  Houses are very, very expensive up in Canada.  

BoxheadTim
BoxheadTim MegaDork
4/21/21 3:23 p.m.

Don't forget that the francophone Canadians consider French French a foreign language...

From what I remember from decades ago when I was in the German equivalent of high school, foreign exchange students had different options for the length of stay. For example, I spent a few weeks with a French family in the French partner town our town was twinned with, went to school there etc, then we repeated the process the other way around. The cost there was mainly travel costs.

Other schoolmates of mine either went to language schools in a foreign country during school holidays, and a handful of them spent a whole academic year at the highschool in the US. The latter did cost a fair amount of money but at least back in the 80s was within reach of normal German middle class families as this was under the umbrella of city partnerships and presumably partially subsidised by the state.

As to languages - the international business language in most of the Nordic countries in Europe, plus Germany/Benelux/Switzerland tends to be English. The Francophone areas tend to be a little different but even then I think the most common language spoken in business is probably English.

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/21/21 3:47 p.m.

In reply to BoxheadTim :

True, however being able to take a weekend trip and be immersed in the French language would go a long, long way towards helping with fluency.  Of course, The Wife and I still have our dream of moving to Montreal within 4-5 years.  I don't know if it'll ever happen, but if it does it definitely requires lots of French.  We'll have to see what our future holds.  

ZOO (Forum Supporter)
ZOO (Forum Supporter) UltraDork
4/21/21 4:21 p.m.

Why not more than one additional language?  Apparently it is easier the more you know. 

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/22/21 6:34 a.m.

It would certainly benefit our son to learn multiples!  We would be learning them with him, and teaching him though, so it would be limited by our ability to learn them.  I guess I could also teach him Korean, since I'm still (mostly) fluent in that.

yupididit
yupididit PowerDork
4/22/21 6:45 a.m.

Teach him Spanish, from there he can transition to Portuguese and Tagalog and Italian. All very similar languages. Ask me how I know. 

 

If you want him to learn another language for future success then Spanish or Mandarin. There's no way around that. And Mandarin would be my choice given how big their economy and influence in the world is becoming. 

 

But it sounds like you're already decided on French. 

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/22/21 9:03 a.m.

French is what we're leaning towards based on our ever-present desire to go to Montreal.  It's a dream, I just don't know if it's a feasible dream yet.  Actually, it is pretty feasible - Montreal is cheaper than Cleveland in almost every way.  Moving to a foreign country is intimidating though, to put it mildly.  

Also, every website I've searched on has recommended Mandarin, French, and German as the preferred languages for future successful kids.  I'm trying to be somewhat realistic - My wife and I will be teaching him so I need something within our capabilities - Mandarin would be pretty difficult as I have no real background with that, leaving French and German.  Your comment on Spanish first, then branching into others is a very good point though.  That's something I'm going to consider.  Spanish is also a very easy language, another plus.  

I'm also about to be a father for the first time so I'm going through that phase of wanting to do everything perfectly for my son as well as give him the perfect childhood.  You know, send him to the #1 school in the state, have him get perfect grades the whole time and excelling in astrophysics at age 9, being a foreign exchange student in Paris, etc.  I have big dreams and lofty goals.  I was always taught to set them high - if I even meet one or two of my goals, everything will be awesome.

John Welsh
John Welsh Mod Squad
4/22/21 10:40 a.m.

Good job on the pre parenting!

You and the wife should learn French (or at least the Canadian version) which would make your Montreal move easier. If you know and use French then the kid will be exposed to French up to and including immersion if you move. 

Said another way, the kid will learn what you know and it sounds like everyone in the family would benefit from knowing French.   

The parents would see the most immediate benefit from knowing French. The kid knowing French would just be a lucky byproduct 

californiamilleghia
californiamilleghia SuperDork
4/22/21 11:13 a.m.

sponsor a French foreign exchange student at your house ?

I wish I would have tried a little more to learn Spanish in High School , I only took one year , but at the time you could not see the future ( NOW ) that almost half  of the population is Hispanic in California, 

I would ask around how much Mandarin you can really learn in a one year exchange ,  I would think its pretty overwhelming  learning to read and write Mandarin.

Anyway , you have a few years to figure it out :)

 

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/22/21 12:01 p.m.

In reply to John Welsh :

Thanks, I've been reading everything I can, trying to preparent as best as possible.  I really want to be a good father, a better one than mine.  I've been doing a lot of reading on Montreal again, trying to see if it's genuinely a realistic option or if I'm just looking at the city through rose-tinted glasses, and honestly I can't find any real downsides to moving there.  We're doing okay right now in Cleveland, and Montreal is cheaper, IT jobs pay more, has much better schools, of course universal healthcare, affordable child care, basically better everything, and the list goes on.  The ONLY barriers to moving to Montreal are that we would have to learn some French (which we're excited to do and already know a little), and the process of immigrating to a new country - which isn't necessarily difficult, but there are certain steps.  And I can just pay a bit for an immigration lawyer to make sure we do it right.  There would be the added language benefit - instead of just us teaching Avi a second language, he would be raised in a bilingual and multicultural environment.  Plus he would grow up in a city chock full of art, music, festivals, and top-notch education.  And safe!

yupididit
yupididit PowerDork
4/22/21 2:21 p.m.

In reply to infinitenexus :

Its good you're doing a lot of positive planning for your first kid. I haven't met not one quantifiable/measurable goal as parent that I set before my son was born. But, I'm a great dad and I'm sure certainly greater than most. One thing you can do is learn how to positively express and display emotion and affection. That does wonders for little boys and we need more of that in society, especially from men. 

 

Is Cleveland really that expensive? I was under the impression that Montreal was like NYC/LA expensive. 

z31maniac
z31maniac MegaDork
4/22/21 2:32 p.m.
yupididit said:

In reply to infinitenexus :

Is Cleveland really that expensive? I was under the impression that Montreal was like NYC/LA expensive. 

That's what I was thinking. 

So I went and looked, 3 different COL websites all put Montreal as cheaper. 

 

https://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/compare_cities.jsp?country1=Canada&city1=Montreal&country2=United+States&city2=Cleveland%2C+OH#:~:text=Cost%20of%20Living%20Comparison%20Between%20Montreal%20and%20Cleveland%2C%20OH,you%20rent%20in%20both%20cities).

Sparkydog
Sparkydog HalfDork
4/22/21 3:57 p.m.

I went to a very small high school so you took whatever language they had teachers for. Given a choice between Spanish and German I took German. (Adult me knows that Spanish would have been the better choice.) By pure random luck, I was able to work in Germany for 1 year in the 80's and so knowing a little German paid off really well for that year. 

But in the rest of the world and the rest of my adult life knowing German wasn't necessary. 

So I vote either Spanish, Chinese, Japanese or French (in that order) for a kid that will become an adult in the 21st century and wants to go out into the big bad world.

Slippery
Slippery UberDork
4/22/21 4:53 p.m.

My 2¢. 

If you are planning to move to Montreal anytime in the next 12-13 years, do not teach him French. He will pick it up in no time, certainly faster than you can imagine, and will speak it better than you in one year even if you start now. 

For practical reasons and to help him position him ahead in life, the best choice is Spanish or Chinese in addition to English. As a matter of fact I would have him learn one of those and then he will have Spanish or Chinese in addition to English (from you) and French-Canadian (thanks to Montreal). 

As an aside, it will be VERY difficult to teach your kid a language that is not your first language. 

1SlowVW
1SlowVW HalfDork
4/22/21 5:57 p.m.
infinitenexus said:

In reply to BoxheadTim : The Wife and I still have our dream of moving to Montreal within 4-5 years.  I don't know if it'll ever happen, but if it does it definitely requires lots of French.  We'll have to see what our future holds.  

Montreal isn't as French as you think. I speak fluent "Canadian grade" French. I struggle a bit sometimes in Quebec but not often. But honestly you could live in Montreal and not speak French and have no issues. 
 

What I will say is that once you know French and English you can pick up a fair amount of Spanish and I would imagine the same is true with two of the others. I also took some German in university and knowing French helped with the structure of the German language...but it's amazing what you can forget in a decade. 

Ultimately I ended up doing k-12 in French and a business degree in English. What it really showed me is that I'm a poor writer in both the official languages of the province I live in. 

Stampie
Stampie MegaDork
4/22/21 6:04 p.m.
infinitenexus said:

I'm also about to be a father for the first time so I'm going through that phase of wanting to do everything perfectly for my son as well as give him the perfect childhood.  You know, send him to the #1 school in the state, have him get perfect grades the whole time and excelling in astrophysics at age 9, being a foreign exchange student in Paris, etc.  I have big dreams and lofty goals.  I was always taught to set them high - if I even meet one or two of my goals, everything will be awesome.

And then reasonable expectations hits the first time he has a blow out sitting in your lap.

Antihero (Forum Supporter)
Antihero (Forum Supporter) UberDork
4/22/21 7:19 p.m.

I have a friend that lives near Montreal, he bought a house and I was stunned at how expensive it was, like.....holysweetbabyjesuswtf level

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/28/21 8:18 a.m.
yupididit said:

In reply to infinitenexus :

Its good you're doing a lot of positive planning for your first kid. I haven't met not one quantifiable/measurable goal as parent that I set before my son was born. But, I'm a great dad and I'm sure certainly greater than most. One thing you can do is learn how to positively express and display emotion and affection. That does wonders for little boys and we need more of that in society, especially from men. 

 

Is Cleveland really that expensive? I was under the impression that Montreal was like NYC/LA expensive. 

I've been doing a lot of reading on being a first time parent and what scientific research tells me is best for the child, since I am completely clueless with anything that isn't a guitar, computer, or saute pan.  Most of the advice I've heard from average Joes is pretty awful, and falls in the "My parents did X and X and I turned out just fine" category.  However, what you said is very true, both me showing a range of healthy emotions to my son as well as teaching him how to express his emotions in a healthy manner - even when he has negative emotions, to let him experience them, teach them what they mean, how to deal with them, etc.  An emotionally healthy boy will grow up to be an emotionally healthy man.  Also, I can teach my son everything I want but ultimately he's going to emulate what he sees The Wife and me doing, so we have to make sure our behavior and habits are good and healthy.  

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/28/21 8:40 a.m.
z31maniac said:
yupididit said:

In reply to infinitenexus :

Is Cleveland really that expensive? I was under the impression that Montreal was like NYC/LA expensive. 

That's what I was thinking. 

So I went and looked, 3 different COL websites all put Montreal as cheaper. 

 

https://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/compare_cities.jsp?country1=Canada&city1=Montreal&country2=United+States&city2=Cleveland%2C+OH#:~:text=Cost%20of%20Living%20Comparison%20Between%20Montreal%20and%20Cleveland%2C%20OH,you%20rent%20in%20both%20cities).

Cleveland is billed as having super cheap housing, which is one of the reasons we moved here, however I quickly found that it's for the same reason Baltimore is often listed as having lower-than-average housing costs: If you're okay with buying a house in an area that looks like a warzone in a failing school district, then the houses and apartments are cheap.  If  you want lower crime and good schools, be prepared to pay.  A lot.  Cleveland is still cheaper than many other American cities, but it's not without problems.

In Montreal, as with much of Canada, buying a house is very expensive.  They have strict building codes, being so cold and whatnot, and there aren't a ton of unoccupied houses on the market, all of which drives the prices up.  If you want a small rowhome in Montreal, be prepared to pay a lot.  If you move to the suburbs, house pricing becomes more realistic and the houses are larger and have garages, etc.  Still pricey, but an attainable goal.  

That link shows some of the major differences between Montreal and Cleveland - or any other American city, really.  Renting an apartment in Montreal is almost laughably cheap.  In 5 minutes of searching I found a 900 sq ft 2 bedroom apartment in a safe neighborhood with good schools nearby, for the equivalent of $1048 USD.  Also, with a new baby that'll cost us more here in America - in Canada they literally pay you when you have a kid, since they understand that raising a kid right can be expensive.  I checked on their gubmint website and right now we would get roughly $450/month for 1 child.  While the comparison of onion and bread prices is interesting, what's more important is that daycare is much, much cheaper in Canada, healthcare is paid for via taxes, utilities are cheaper, etc.  If you want your child to go to a private school here, you'll pay a ton - I've looked into private schools around Cleveland, since a lot of the public schools are poorly rated.  In Quebec, the provincial government caps the annual tuition rate for private schools at roughly $380/month.  That's not the cheapest price, but that's an attainable goal compared to the $1000-$1200/month for private schools in the Cleveland area.  Montreal is also a tech hub, with a ton of IT jobs that pay better than in Cleveland.

In short, if I could pick up right now and move to Montreal with an equivalent job and magically become a Canadian citizen by snapping my fingers, I would make more money, have cheaper bills and MUCH cheaper child care in my future, better schools, far lower crime, better benefits, and would live in a city with more incredible culture, food, art, and music than I would know what to do with.  

The immigration process is lengthy and while not overly difficult, definitely requires a good bit of effort.  In about a year, I can start.  Until then, time to learn and save!  Sorry for writing a novel, I'm kinda bad about that haha.

infinitenexus
infinitenexus Dork
4/28/21 9:04 a.m.
Slippery said:

My 2¢. 

If you are planning to move to Montreal anytime in the next 12-13 years, do not teach him French. He will pick it up in no time, certainly faster than you can imagine, and will speak it better than you in one year even if you start now. 

For practical reasons and to help him position him ahead in life, the best choice is Spanish or Chinese in addition to English. As a matter of fact I would have him learn one of those and then he will have Spanish or Chinese in addition to English (from you) and French-Canadian (thanks to Montreal). 

As an aside, it will be VERY difficult to teach your kid a language that is not your first language. 

If we attain our dream of moving to Montreal, our son will have to learn French as he will be attending school in French.  Nearly all of their public schools are taught in French.  Also, while learning French is not required to immigrate to Canada, being able to speak both of their official languages helps a good bit with the immigration process (they use a points system).  If this is a dream we're able to make a reality, French will be a requirement.  However, throwing in a third language is something that can and probably will happen!  I'm fortunate that I'm a 2 time graduate from the Defense Language Institute, so I'm both good with languages, and I know excellent ways to teach/learn them.

mechanicalmeanderings
mechanicalmeanderings New Reader
4/28/21 9:23 a.m.

Look into organizations like FFA and 4H, neither require you to live on a farm or be a farmer.  Both have pretty strong exchange programs to many different countries.  Often times there are scholarships as well, so cost is way down or nonexistent.

also each have strong stem emphasis as well as good skills like public speaking and leadership. While learning  more about an area of interest from cake decorating to rockets and everything in between.

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