We now have a thread for quotes that made you laugh, were phrased perfectly or are otherwise worth sharing.
An example from today is Duke, with this gem: "That would be a cricket. Jumping spiders look like powerlifter normal spiders."
We now have a thread for quotes that made you laugh, were phrased perfectly or are otherwise worth sharing.
An example from today is Duke, with this gem: "That would be a cricket. Jumping spiders look like powerlifter normal spiders."
From the latest issue of GRM:
”To cover the even wider stance, fender flares were added to the fender flares.”
Yassssss
Brother Dustin: id rather put my nuts in a vice and smack my pecker with a hammer
Dad: not running is an inconvenience. Not stopping will kill you.
Dad: do it right or go the berkeley home
Dad: failure to plan on your behalf does not constitute an emergency on mine
Dallas: dont stick your hootus in crazy. You can't wash it off.
Dallas: you know why my divorce was so expensive? Worth every berkeleying penny.
My quote for the day:
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Another good one:
The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm is in for a nasty surprise.
No need to be honest with a woman. Creatures who wears makeup want nothing to do with the truth.
My team declaring the status of their projects in our short review meeting (they are suppose to say green, yellow or red):
- "All green expect for Quality, which has taken a slight turn towards amber. But if XX gets his E36 M3 together and pass the stupid hot surface test, we will be green again".
- "My E36 M3 is all Green. And not everyday standard boring green, but a beautiful, sparkling, emerald green".
- "Brown. It's all Brown! This project is totally brown and I'm still unhappy you gave it to me. Why can't XX have it, since all his E36 M3 is so sparkly green anyway?"
You can't lie to a nun, Jake. We gotta go and visit the Penguin.
Best Yelp review I've ever read, about a local place:
"This is not a restaurant. They do take credit cards. Watch out for the pack of wild dogs."
Well ok Scott F from Jacksonville, right the berkeley on!
"Don't tack until they lift the guns!" As detailed over in this thread.
“I was a bit behind in my steering”
-Me explaining to the state trooper lying on what was left of my Escort waiting for the ambulance.
John Welsh said:"Don't tack until they lift the guns!" As detailed over in this thread.
That sounds like something this guy would say: 
Mine is from my dad: Never borrow a tool you can't afford to fix.
I’m happy my date didn’t snoop in my medicine cabinet but sad I spent an hour setting up 40 ping pong balls in there for nothing
-A tweet a friend shared that I kept giggling at while I was waiting for my physical
I saw a reader board this week in Sligo Kentucky that said:
“Electricians have to strip to make ends meet”.
yes, yes they do.
Only place I can post this one stuck in my head;
When in doubt, I whip it out, I got me a rock ‘n roll band
Standing next to the extremely over heated Fadal mill with smoke pouring out from around the motor.
Me: Boss, I think we broke it.
Team lead: I think we did too.
My local hobby shop 25 years ago had bumper stickers.
"R/Cers do it with frequency. "
In the tool room on the flight line is a bumper sticker:
Virgin Atlantic: More Experience then Our Name Implies
About 40 years ago, my good friend asked me to take a Greyhound ride to upstate NY. This was to pick up a truck for the business he worked for. After an all night ride, we were dropped off in this small town just south of the Canadian border. Pre dawn, I looked at him and asked, "What do we do now?" He dead panned, "Not get arrested." We still use that line today.
To be or not to be- Shakespeare
To be is to do- Socrates
Doobe Doobe Do- Sinatra
A comedian said "I'm half way to becoming a criminal lawyer. I just need the lawyer part."
EastCoastMojo said:The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm is in for a nasty surprise.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
In the immortal words of Socrates:
”I drank what!?”
When someone has told me a fairy tale; "I don't mind you lying to me, but it's just sad to lie to yourself."
"How on fire is it" when explaining to the brewmaster his truck was on fire. When I said a little, he said it was fine and went back to work.
“You never miss a slice off a cut ham.” - my Dad, on whether or not my girlfriend was cheating on me. Well, more like why I should have been stabbing anything with a pulse even though I had a girlfriend.
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