To accompany DrBoost's Strange people come in my house thread. Strange people are strange.
Two nights ago I drove two hours to check out my brother's new house. SWMBO and dog are in tow in my dad's old Suburban (over 310,000 miles on the clock and still drives like a champ) since we were delivering some chairs for him.
While driving through Cambridge, MD (about halfway there) it's getting dark and I notice a blue late model VW Passat tagging along pretty close behind. Four-lane highway with like five cars in sight so he stood out as a bit of an annoyance. Keep trucking on down the road and notice that every time I change lanes to pass someone, Mr. VW immediately changes with me and stays on my bumper.
After about 15 minutes of this he backs off a little and flashes his brights at me three times. Not quick flashes like a "Hey man, your truck is on fire." Really slow deliberate flashes, like someone messing with the stalks to try and figure out how to use the wipers or something. You know what I'm talking about. He then gets back on my bumper. No more flashes. I flashed brake lights at him. This did not phase him.
Another 15 minutes and it's dark now. My exit is coming up for the next four-lane highway. I spot road work ahead forcing all traffic to one lane. Seizing my opportunity to rid myself of this hooligan, I give ye mighty old Suburban a punch, and jump ahead of a Chrysler 300. Don't worry, nothing unsafe. Mr. VW tries to follow but can't make it and files in behind Mr. Chrysler. My exit approaches while we're all still confined to one lane.
I get into the merge lane for the next highway on my route and brake for the 25 mph clover leaf ramp. Mr. Chrysler passes me on the left. Mr. VW is following close behind him and gets to about my back door when he either suddenly realizes "it's that truck I'm totally drawn to" or "I'm about to miss my exit." He slams on the brakes and just gets on the ramp behind me so close that I can't see headlights an any mirror. We merge onto this highway together except now with more traffic. He sticks closer to me here than he did on the traffic-free highway. About five miles to go to brother's house.
I started speeding up in the left lane and then moving to the right lane and slowing down. He continues his synchronized lane changes at a very close distance. Okay, I'm almost certain this guy is actually following me now. Brother lives off the highway pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to lead someone to his house, even if they just wanted to hand me a pamphlet on planting trees.
Honestly if I was driving any of my cars or my old Miata I would have loved to have him try and tag along on some familiar back roads. (Not that I condone such driving in the public.) But a 300,000-mile Suburban and wife in the passenger's seat meant I just wanted this guy gone.
The exit before my brother's exit has an extremely long exit lane, ending in a simple 90-degree turn-off. I stick with the right lane as long as I think I can, make sure no one is exiting around me and then make a dramatic dive to the exit lane and brake about as hard as I'm comfortable in the truck. Wife wakes up (oh yeah, she was asleep for all of this.) Upon witnessing my move, Mr. VW flips his right turn signal on and dives on the brakes to follow but doesn't have enough room to get behind me because he was following so close. He then starts to pass me moving very slowly in the right lane as I approach my turn. HA! Foiled Mr. VW man! As he passes I make it very obvious that I am looking at him. Can't make out anything in the VW.
We continue on down our merry way through backroads and reach brother's house with his chairs. All is well and I have an interesting story to tell.
But my curiosity is absolutely peaked by what went down. I want to know what he wanted. Surely no one would follow me close to an hour to say they liked the American flag PRS sticker on the back of the truck. We didn't make any stops on the trip where I might have forgotten a phone or wallet. Thoughts? Hypothesis? Was this guy just trying to bug me or was he the worst tail of all time?
