The "Moron of the Week" Thread

mndsm wrote: I've always wanted to run for public office just to see if someone was dumb enough to elect me.

BTDT got elected to our village board 4-years ago. I'm up for re-election in April & people are asking me to run again. On the one hand I'm glad to help out our town and hope I've had a positive influence, on the other my patience for dealing with the idiocy and petty vendettas is running very thin.

So yes, you too are just as (un)qualified as I, and thus have as good a chance in politics as anyone else!

Take a few minutes, read the article. I suspect you'll agree, Kurt Busch is this week's "Moron of the week".

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/01/14/nascar-driver-kurt-busch-says-ex-girlfriend-who-accused-him-abuse-is-trained/?intcmp=latestnews

kazoospec wrote: Been a while, but here's another entry. Busted for Possesion/Distribution of Meth. Wonder how the 5 Oh caught on? Short story here: http://y98.cbslocal.com/2014/11/10/photo-i-love-crystal-meth-t-shirt-mugshot/

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/john-balmer-arrested-while-wearing-i-have-drugs-t-shirt-n281226

I'm thinking either too much shine, or a few concussions too many.

kazoospec wrote: Take a few minutes, read the article. I suspect you'll agree, Kurt Busch is this week's "Moron of the week". http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/01/14/nascar-driver-kurt-busch-says-ex-girlfriend-who-accused-him-abuse-is-trained/?intcmp=latestnews

kazoospec wrote: Take a few minutes, read the article. I suspect you'll agree, Kurt Busch is this week's "Moron of the week". http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/01/14/nascar-driver-kurt-busch-says-ex-girlfriend-who-accused-him-abuse-is-trained/?intcmp=latestnews

My favorite part of the story was: "Busch said Driscoll repeatedly asserted her assassin status and claimed the work took her on missions across Central and South America and Africa. He recounted one time when the couple was in El Paso, Texas. He said Driscoll left in camouflage gear only to return later wearing a trench coat over an evening gown covered with blood."

I think he's been watching too many movies.

Had to resurrect this thread for this little gem: http://moron.com/florida-murder-imaginary-friend/

Could also go in the "meanwhile, in Florida" thread.

Whoa! Were'd that dude get a machine gun?!?!

He has a right to bear arms...

In reply to Appleseed:

I suspect his "lack of necessary paperwork" for the "machine gun" will get him a few years to solemnly reflect on the untimely passing of Mr. Happy, which may not have been such a tragedy after all. I mean, I'm not saying he deserved to die, but using up all this dudes cocaine, crashing his car and leaving him to answer for the DUI is just uncalled for.

Bear in mind:

Bear arms: new age lucky rabbit's foot?

Not to be outdone by Florida, Indiana weighs in: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/05/29/woman-stabbed-with-fork-for-taking-last-rib-police-say/?intcmp=latestnews

From the mug shot, she does look like she might put up a fight for the last rib.

I think this came up the other day in another thread, but it's worth repeating here.

Man tries to strangle his fiancee when she said Indycar was better than NASCAR. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/man-chokes-fiancee-liking-indycar-nascar-article-1.2236955

In reply to Adrian_Thompson:

They forgot the part where the guy was on the comittee to add the name Jimmy to their county's name. It's worth fighting over.

Walking in to the local grocery store yesterday I notice the right rear tire on a POS Escort in a handicapped spot is not just bald but worn through the belts and chunking badly. Honestly, no idea how air is still staying inside this tire.

I ask the driver (sitting there and smoking) if he's seen the sketchy tire in question and show it to him, gently explaining the dangers of a blowout to both himself and anyone who happens to be nearby when this thing fails.

His response? "It's my daughters car, I guess I'll let her know."

Dad-of-the-year right there.

Darwin maybe gunna get him one soon

Yeah, most likely but who will he take with him?

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets (Unbelievable but sadly true...) (Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener, and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

THREE A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(Keep shuddering!!)

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'

Can I just say main stream media or is that under the general stupidity column like politicians?

wbjones wrote: Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

Yeah, those stories have been floating around since the Internet was invented.

Probably time for an update. Man pumping gas tries to kill spider with his lighter: spider, gas pump and what appears to be one of the few remaining K series Chrysler's all go up in smoke. Video below. http://video.foxnews.com/v/4513540016001/man-sets-gas-pump-on-fire-trying-to-kill-a-spider/?intcmp=hpvid1#sp=show-clips

mndsm wrote: I've always wanted to run for public office just to see if someone was dumb enough to elect me.

Guy in my town without a high school degree won over a woman who went to law school. This wasn't a smart guy who quit high school to excel in doing any one thing in particular, but had a history of failed businesses and no personal skills.

The woman had been on city council once before and had voted for an extra stoplight at one place, so everyone wrote her off. Unbelievably bad options. People are stupid, even if it's a bunch of smart persons.

Not quite on the epic scale, but here's a synopsis of a phone conversation I just had.

"I want to make my Miata faster, but I don't have a lot of money"
"Can you quantify that? $100, $1000, $10000?"
"About a thousand"
"Okay, for that we can do things like an intake or exhaust. It's not a massive power increase, but it'll be about 10%"
"That's not going to do it, I need more. What about a supercharger? I could come up with more money if I had to"
"Our superchargers start at around $5000, and will gain you 80-90 hp"
"90 hp? I'm starting at only 170! That's not going to be enough"
"How much horsepower would be enough?"
"I need 500."
"...Is this a serious phone call? You want 500 hp in a Miata for a thousand dollars?"
"Yes."

Unfortunately, I was unable to help this individual in his quest.

me

Keith Tanner wrote: Not quite on the epic scale, but here's a synopsis of a phone conversation I just had. "I want to make my Miata faster, but I don't have a lot of money" "Can you quantify that? $100, $1000, $10000?" "About a thousand" "Okay, for that we can do things like an intake or exhaust. It's not a massive power increase, but it'll be about 10%" "That's not going to do it, I need more. What about a supercharger? I could come up with more money if I had to" "Our superchargers start at around $5000, and will gain you 80-90 hp" "90 hp? I'm starting at only 170! That's not going to be enough" "How much horsepower would be enough?" "I need 500." "...Is this a serious phone call? You want 500 hp in a Miata for a thousand dollars?" "Yes." Unfortunately, I was unable to help this individual in his quest.

meh, you should have pointed him to the closest pull a part and tell him "you see what we do with a LS. You should do that DIY. Anything else I can help you with?"