The Project Car Terminators

I am constantly stumbling across car collections. Some are well organized, with the cars in great shape and well displayed. These are a joy to see and write about; I love listening to how and why guys collect the cars that most interest them. From Jay Leno’s amazing collection to Mitch McCullough’s gorgeous new garage filled with mostly Lotus cars, I have been blessed to see some of the top collections in the country.

Most collections don’t look like this; mere mortals usually lack the time, money or space to assemble something so grand. Instead, they gather a mishmash of rough, rusty, incomplete cars and claim they’re going to get to each one of them right away.

It saddens me that so few people seem able to accept reality. Even at 80-plus years of age, when they haven’t worked on a car for over 10 years, some guys still insist they’re going to finish those 10 cars strewn about their property. This situation is even more frustrating when the cars are left out in the elements and the owner simply will not let a few go before they disappear back into the earth.

I have written about this before, but only recently did I fully realize how those words apply to my own life. I did the math: I’m 55 years old, I currently have 11 projects awaiting my attention, and I’ve been finishing one project every two years. That means I now have enough projects to last me until I’m nearly 80.

This scares the crap out of me. Have I become one of those crazy old guys I’m constantly complaining about? Am I where project cars go to die? No, please, not me.

This got me remembering a funny skit I saw years ago on “The Man Show,” that now-departed Comedy Central program starring Jimmy Kimmel and car collector/ vintage racer Adam Carolla. The bit was a fake commercial for the “Rest Assured Disposal Service,” which snuck into the houses of recently deceased customers and disposed of all their embarrassing pornography.

It’s too bad car collectors can’t subscribe to a similar service for all of the stuff we accumulate. Think about how easy it would be to sign up, pay a small fee, and rest assured that our families would be spared all the potential headaches and confusion of being left with our large, untidy assortments of projects and prizes.

I’m halfway serious here. I know that the big auction companies will handle your nice, neat collection, but who is going to handle my buddy J.K.’s shop?

I was there recently, and there are Triumph parts all over the place. J.K. is a bit of a pack rat and has more projects than he can comfortably complete, but he still doesn’t really want to get rid of anything. If someone doesn‘t help him get it organized, this stuff might all be sold for scrap. I would hate to see a real Group 44 Inc. Triumph go this way. Fortunately, J.K.’s wife races with him and knows the value of what’s in the shop, but who helps the many families who don’t have this knowledge?

This type of servce is available for household estate sales, but I’m not familiar with any equivalent catering to low-end car collectors.

Since we probably can’t hire someone to deal with it all after we’re gone, we all need to get real. First, do the math: If you are in your 60s or 70s, pick a set number of projects that you honestly can and will finish–and then get rid of the rest.

If you’re not willing to do that, at least walk around with someone you trust, like your adult child or the executor of your estate, and document what you have and what it is worth. Where are your titles kept? Are they in your name? Can you start signing them over, or put them in a trust and name someone to handle that trust after your death? Put some thought into this now, so that your family is spared the unnecessary hassle. And if you do start some sort of post-mortem car-disposal business, you need to at least advertise it with us. I think it could be huge.

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