Help me pick a stupider motorcycle

A little over a year ago, I bought and did some minor improvements and maintenance to a 2008 BMW R1200GS Adventure. 
https://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/motorcycles-and-bicycles/bigger-budget-adventure-bike-2008-bmw-r1200gsa-build-thread/261627/page1/

It's an absolutely amazing feat of engineering, and about as close to perfect as any bike could be. I took it on the big trip I bought it for, ripped it off road, knocked down a 700-mile day on the highway, and absolutely loved every minute of it.

Since that trip, I've ridden it only a handful of times, and mostly let it sit in the garage. I ride my Grom way more often because it's just more fun.

Word from the group chat is that adventure bikes are out, and we're doing 4x4s for our next trip. Honestly, I'm not sure how many more giant bike rides I have in me, anyway. I've sort of been there, done that, and don't love the risks that off-roading a 600-lb bike with luggage carries with it. 

So, the BMW is on the chopping block. Again, it's a perfect bike. But that's why it sits in the garage--when I want a ruthlessly optimized way to get around, I'll drive a car. Cruising around town on a bike means having fun, and this one is just too buttoned up and seamless to make me choose it. Plus, it's just so big and heavy that parking lots are a chore.

Backstory out of the way, here's my question: What should I replace the BMW with?

Budget is whatever I can sell it for, likely $5-$7000.

Use case is grabbing it on an impulse for a ride to work or an hour-long cruise on a Saturday morning. 45-55mph roads along the beach is my environment.

Above all else, the bike should make me smile and have character. 

The more electronics the better, ABS is a huge priority but I love IMUs and nannies, too.

I hate keeping small, infrequently used carburetors running. Not a deal-killer, but fuel injection is sweet.

I love lightweight bikes, but seat height doesn't matter much. I'm 6' tall and grew up on dirt bikes, 

Bonus points for looking cool as hell while parked in the garage. I don't mind having something worth staring at.

Obviously, this leaves TONS of options. A few ideas:

Is it supermoto time? I've always thought they looked like a blast, and clean DRZ-400s are right in my budget. But the carburetor and lack of electronics are turn offs. Plus, they're not that much fun to stare at.

What about something stupider--I could find a Ducati Hypermotard. Very fast, very stupid, very maintenance intensive. But so, so so cool. Is this a terrible idea?

I love my Grom, maybe a Trail 125 or a Super Cub would be a nice companion for it?

KTM's 690 Duke looks weird and cool.

Any suggestions?

My vote is for the 690 Duke or SM - especially if you can get one of the later, dual balance shaft models. I got to ride the enduro version of its Husqvarna clone, the 701 recently and loved the thing. It's fast as snot, extremely light, and civilized enough for long jaunts. The guy who owns the one that I rode  has happily used it for runs to and from the San Francisco Bay Area and Montana.

Stupid bike that looks fantastic? Speed Triple preferably in Roulette green.

I'm just here to enable any bad ideas.

I love my DRZ but it is not great above 60 mph. Might be just right for your use case, but it will feel really slow compared to your BMW. Don't knock the carb, it's a single so there's no sync issues and it flat out just works. And I think they look awesome all supermoto'd out but I also engine-swapped a Camry on purpose so... I was super curious about the WR250R before I settled on the DRZ. Might be worth looking at too.

SV650 with a mild exhaust?

Tom, you want stupid? I'll give you stupid. Dual Sport Sportster, The Dual Sportster if you will.

edit: this only really fills the stupid category. The Sporty never came with ABS, if you want potato-potato noises and ABS you would have to look at +2011 Softails (when it first became an option)

I am in a similar spot and shopping the same scope/ cost.  I like the triumph above, have owned a Tiger 1050, Daytona 955 and loved both.  The new Daytona is awesome, but low bars, Tigers look appealing, but a little more adventure than I personally want. 

Top candidate right now is the Aprilia RS660.  Riser bars for my old back, all the electronics of the full blown sport bike, but less weight and a parallel twin that should be great in the cit and for canyon rides (Phoenix).   New they are ~$10k.  couple years old are right in budget.  

On the KTM 690 vibe, the Husqvarna Vitpilen 701 is same family with more of a road flair.  Both are great bikes.

The Hypermotard isn't that bad wrt maintenance; it's not as friendly as one of the Big 4, but it's not like the early/mid-00s Ducatis. I've had a couple Speed Triples and they've been fun. 

A Scrambler Ducati would probably fit the bill extremely well. An Aprilia Shiver, perhaps? I'm trying to think outside the standard Japanese manufacturers, though something like a Z900 or MT09 would be great. 

In reply to former520 :

Well this makes 2 other Phoenix locals I've seen on GRM in the past 2 days, which is 2 more than I've seen in the previous 2 years! There are now at least 4 of us! 

WRT parallel twins: In my garage I have an Africa Twin. It's perfectly capable and is a great DS bike but I find the character of a parallel twin to be a bit boring on-road. That said, I've not ridden an RS660 yet so I can't speak to that particular mill. 

If you weren't set on ABS and/or IMU, then I'd say that a TW200 fits the mission of light fun knockabout that's somewhat opposite of a big GS. In that vein, a DRZ-SM is a bit more capable (vs the tdub) yet nearly as fun. Neither will blow your skirt up just to look at 'em, though.

A friend of mine is up to five(!) specimens from the 690/701 family — and given his fleet history (extensive, diverse, and expensive), that's high praise.

So I'll throw down another vote for an Austrian thumper: available with ABS, comes in many flavors (SM, Duke, D/S, Svartpilen), easy on the eyes.

Colin Wood said:

I'm just here to enable any bad ideas.

I'm with that guy.

KTM 690 Supermoto, or the 701 equivalent.  Or a Ducati Monster or street fighter.

I also have a 690, it's not bad, but the engine is probably my least favorite part of it, which I'm working on fixing but it's a big project. The newer double balancer engine is a lot more fun character wise than my older single balancer bike though. In my opinion, a thumper is never quite as good as a multi-cylinder bike in terms of sound and engine character on the street. My personal favorite is the KTM LC8 family of V twins. If you're looking for a fun hooligan bike, I'd be looking for something like a Ducati Scrambler or Monster, KTM Super Duke, or Aprilia Dorsoduro. SV650 and SV1000 get an honorable mention as well. I absolutely love the sound and feel of my 990 adventure, and the newer Super Dukes are a similar engine with all those electronics you're after. But I'm not sure if they're in your price range or not. 

This will sound dumb. However. from what you describe that you want out of it, Honda Super Cub.

RacetruckRon said:

Tom, you want stupid? I'll give you stupid. Dual Sport Sportster, The Dual Sportster if you will.

edit: this only really fills the stupid category. The Sporty never came with ABS, if you want potato-potato noises and ABS you would have to look at +2011 Softails (when it first became an option)

Sportsters actually had ABS available as an option beginning in 2014.  The ultimate Sportster (unfortunately without ABS) would be a 2008-2010 XR1200 or 2011-2012 XR1200X.  The later "X" models have a double-adjustable Showa big piston suspension and better brakes.  

I guaranty if you want a bike that gets noticed, this will tick the box. They are heavy-ish but carry it very well.  The torque and the sound are pretty intoxicating as well.  $7k gets a nice one.

Honestly, if I lived in FL I'd be inclined towards a multi-cylinder bike because what do you really need something flingable for when the roads are straight? (Unless you do track time, that is). What I dug about the 701 enduro was  that it was the first street bike that gave me a similar feeling to my old Maico 490 motocrosser. In both cases, it's more bike than my skill set will ever be able to maximize, but boy, what fun in trying! And really, I never expect to be on a straight road for more than an hour, so something lightweight that can serve both trails and twisty tarmac is the bees knees.   

What about a Svartpilen? 

You're looking for a Honda CBR600RR ABS. 

How stupid do you want to be. This thing will make you ride like a moron at rational street speed. I loved mine, did not like KTM so much but that was a local parts supply issue. Pretty sure the front wheel was on the ground about 70% of the time. 

I'm not into 'performance' bikes as I'm an old codger who gets hurt when he falls down now. I can't own motorcycles that don't look good, so most sport bikes are out. How about something like these?

I was going to go completely opposite of the BMW until you mentioned wanted electronics and ABS. 

I think an old 993 would be a great stupid bike, magneto and all.

Above your price point but falling regularly perhaps because Indian just killed it is the FTR1200.  Not light but plenty of character and available in the S variant with all the nannies.  I think they look cool.  Also, the high mounted S&S exhaust completes this bike's look!

Also, the Kawasaki W series parallel twins.  These started with a 650 and then morphed into an 800.  Not a lot of HP but the bevel drive for the cam is cool and the vintage vibe is on point if that's your thing.

First year Z900rs might be inside the stated budget.  No idea on the XSR900.  Z900rs is a great bike and needs very little to be comfortable for an hour or so.  After that the wind starts to get tiresome but that's going to be the same with about everything that's been recommended so far.  I will say that mine is *terrible* on gravel in a way that my VFR800 wasn't.  Like the VFR wasn't great but the Z900 is so badly upset by rocks that riding on gravel roads was something I would dread.  Tires and some kind of change to front spring rates both probably required to improve that situation.

Honestly the XSR900 might be the better "hooligan" bike of the two, the Z900rs being the more well-rounded of the two.  Z900rs is what I've ridden to the Challenge and biggest issues is wind management but otherwise it's really pretty good for highways.  It's got all the mod cons mentioned in the first post, but from what I'm reading I'm still not sure why an SV650 doesn't do it.